Friday, November 10, 2006

hot flush

For all the lack of sleep, pushing back thoughts of uncontrollable lust to the recesses of my over-tired brain, I have been incredibly efficient this morning despite the circumstances at hand.

I have been forging my way through a feature with the ease of a gung-ho jolly-hockeysticks warrior.

However, suddenly I am finding this somewhat trying after an email. Since I am so horned up right now, I need to embark on cold shower with immediate effect.

66 comments:

3rm said...

maybe you should start taking the bushwacker to work

Peas on Toast said...

3RM - With this lot, that'll go down like a lead balloon.

OK, bad choice of phrase...

:)

3rm said...

you don't have to publicise it. i wasn't advocating friggin yourself at your desk. maybe just a quiet moment in the bathroom with a sly cigarette afterward

Champagne Heathen said...

Peas - just go have 'lunch' with your Um-Boyfriend!! Or pop past for a after-work 'drink'. How you are managing to keep up such willpower is beyond me!!! And I am meant to advocate for less sex before marriage!

Tell him you need to research those pronto condoms as a favour for me!

chewthecud said...

lalalala

kyknoord said...

The e-mail of the species is more deadly than the male.

3rm said...

your mail host keeps bouncing my reply. i would include it here but it seems i am capable of diplomacy. i think hell just froze over.

Revolving Credit said...

Peas, sounds like you e-male has gone down.

We'll understand perfectly if you're unable to walk tomorrow.

Peas on Toast said...

Lol everyone!

3RM - to my work email? Don;t you dare put it up here, I'll bloody kill you. But thanks for not doing it anyway. :) Try send again, or send to my peas account.

Revolving Credit said...

Come on 3rd Moon Rock, live a little on the edge. Post it here!

3rm said...

rev - that wouldn't be living on the edge. it'd be throwing myself headfirst into the abyss

Revolving Credit said...

Sticking your head in the abyss, now we're on the right topic.

3rm said...

i don't know if there's space for two in there

Revolving Credit said...

2? lets not be greedy.
One at a time please.

PS. Can you get hold of Uncertain Cryptic Boyfriend Someone and asked him to pick her up from work.
He probably needs to bang her there in the parking lot.

Once thats done we can all just get back to normal blogging.

Peas on Toast said...

3RM - yo've got two heads china/?Oh....

Yes, best you don't stick any of them in the abyss! :)

Rev - banging in the parking lot? k now I'm horny. You okes aren't helping me.One little bit.

3rm said...

i wish i could but circumstances beyond my control prevent the ultimate consummation of their love for one another. i guess we're just gonna have to live with deprived (depraved) peas for the minute. on with the abyss talk then...

Peas on Toast said...

3RM - peeeyuke? "Consummation of their love for each other/?" Dude I'm coming over there to slam dunk you. :)

Lol. Depraved, while Bushie gets a thorough workout...

3rm said...

well hopefully something gets a thorough workout, and soon

Revolving Credit said...

3rd Rock - 'consummation of their love for one another' - sounds great, but how about they just bump uglys from now.basic carnal satifaction will do fine for now.
Think of it as a training ride for the big race.

'circumstances beyond my control prevent the ultimate consummation'

Like what, rugby injury...is his dick in cast or something.
If so, he can still pleasure her
(Peas, stop drooling)
Let me guess, cat's got his tongue.right.

Where the hell is Helmut when you need him.

Champagne Heathen said...

Peas, please deargod shag the guy. Otherwise I am not going to read your blog anymore till I believe you have shagged him. I think you are making the entire blogging world frustrated in anticipation for you!

Right. That's it. I am going out tonight. Any hot sexy men care to join me?

3rm said...

the 'wackers uglies are much more accessible

Crusoe said...

A don't think a cold shower will work. Only a visit to the genital disease ward at Barra will supress this kind of heightened lust! ;-)

3rm said...

speaking of which, peas have you given the wacker a wipe down lately?

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - you're on form again my freind. Bumping uglies? His dick in a cast? LOL. Yeah... and where is Helmut?

3RM - :)

Champs - I'll get there, I'm practicing the art of patience. :) It's tough.

Revolving Credit said...

OK, let me guess, he's a trans-sexual and you're waiting for the completion of the girl-2-guy surgery before he was the neccessary equipment to probe some Peas.

Come on, someone lend the guy a strap on - this is getting ridiculous.

Peas on Toast said...

Crusoe - uh...yummy...I think I'll try the cold shower. :)

3RM - Yes actually! :) lol

Revolving Credit said...

Correction -
'this is getting no-dickulous. '

Peas on Toast said...

LOL REV, STOP, I CAN'T TAKE THIS. I'm not horny anymore, I'm just laughing ym head off! :) :)

There is absolutely nothing wrong with his willy, it's lovely, I swear. I'M TRYING NOT TO JUMP HIM, YOU KNOW, EXERCISE PATIENCE HERE!

Champagne Heathen said...

I have always wondered if this whole waiting-makes-it-better theory was true. Excellent to know I am now witness to a real live experiment of it.

Maybe you can start "Captain Logging" your experience/ thoughts/ emotions/ physical symptoms of this. Should prove fascinating.

And you will have excellent circulation and shiny hair after all the cold showering!

Revolving Credit said...

OK, don't jump him.

Just lay back, let him ever so slowly caress the inside of your thigh with his tongue.
Run your hand through his hair as he flicks a brow across your navel on his route south.
Feel the pressure of him as he firmly paws then light massages your ass as it rises up to meet him. Your secret hairs scratch, then mingle as you touch.
Your skin tingles as you feel the heat rise and you groin aches, longs, begs for contact.
You start to perspire, the moisture rise as his tongue continues to lash you body and breathing hastens, he slowly start to hump your leg......


.....Fido gets tired to licking Peas's leg. She's not getting the message that his food bowl is empty. He goes back out of the room looking for 3RM.

Peas on Toast said...

Champs - "Hi I'm Peas. I'm a sex mania and am scared that onc I start I won't stop. So henceforth am embarking on a go-slow-with-the-shagging-thing-as-long-aas-possible. A social experiment" :)

Rev - you bugger. I got so horny, at least until I read the part of the dog.
You are insatiable! Christ, now I'm schvitzing like an Austrian pole vaulter after going for the gold.

Revolving Credit said...

Peas - visualise:

'Slowly, lightly held between 2 beautifully manicured, tapering fingers, the cherry stalk is extracted from it's syrupy home.

Rising out of it moist haven, it raises the plump, sweet globule that is it's body.

Dripping red cherry nectar, it seem sto levitate towards her waiting mouth.

Her tongue whips back and forth,salivating, impatient in its anticipation of the crimson mead that it craves.

Ever so gently her lips seal around the fragrant orb as the fingers nimbly yet firmly tug the stalk , releasing its grasp of the flesh.
Her mouth and tongue work in unison to probe the glossy pearl, gently cajoling it unitl under unbearable pressure it explodes, releasing is thick syrupy life blood onto her taste buds in an expansion of both vivid flavour and taste.

She gulps back in ecstacy, awaiting the next climactic release.'




And that is how you eat a cherry!!

Daedalus said...

Hehehehe...

Champagne Heathen said...

There is now something problematic with not stopping once having started?!?

I have taken to no longer reading Rev's comments, in fear of the physical & mental damage that may come to me. Revs babes, I'll get back to reading your comments after I find my hot man tonight at the bar. And then find him elsewhere afterwards...

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - amazing, shiters you should start a sex-lit blog my boy! Fuck, never before have I felt such a sexual perversion towards a mere cherry! I want that cherry. I want to boof a piece of fruit. Oh God. You've stirred a monster!:) Brilliant.

Daedalus said...

On a man-hunt Champs? :)

Champagne Heathen said...

Out of sympathetic frustration for Peas, yes!! Taking one for the team and all ;)

Revolving Credit said...

Well now you know what peeps mean when they say they're going Cherry Picking.

So Champs is hunting for someone to pop her cherry...so to speak.

Daedalus said...

Chams,
Poor *guy*...
So there is actually some poor bugger out there that does not know that he will be “one for the team” hahahaha…

Champagne Heathen said...

Aaaaah, Rev! You believe I need to have my cherry popped! I feel so....so...clean & white-like. Just call me Sister Mary Champs! ....well, soon to be excommunicated Sister Mary Champs!

Champagne Heathen said...

Daed - do you think he is going to mind?!?!

Daedalus said...

Depends on the “hunter”, Champs… and the "hunted". Errr… um ...
[Erm … I think I am pushing my foot deeper and deeper into my mouth now…]
[Stop typing Daedalus, Stop typing!]

Revolving Credit said...

Popped, sucked, licked, pulled, suckled, probed, slammed, squeezed....whatever you want done to your cherry.

ChewTheCud said...

Not too bad for one days work Rev. Soon we all gonna be calling you Revolting Credit ;P

Daedalus said...

John Revolta... Hahahaha!

Revolving Credit said...

Don't get me started.
That cherry thing was just a..ummm. foretaste

Insane Insomniac said...

Peas, for some wicked release while remaining respectable, take a pen / pencil and run it lightly along the inside of your knee. Oh baby!!!

Revolving Credit said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Revolving Credit said...

Try not to squirt the ink all over your doondies or get wooden pencil splints stuck in your thighs.

Talk about a stroke of a pen...maybe the pen is indeed mightier than the sword.

6:55 AM

Champagne Heathen said...

I would hardly call what Rev has written about this afternoon "revolting"!!

And Daed - you're a clever boy!

Daedalus said...

LOL!! Champs,
...never thought of myself as "clever". Always though I am a bit "slow", so I tend to *compensate* in devious ways

Daedalus said...

Um...
though --> thought
old typo ...
*slow* I tell ya

Revolving Credit said...

When D says he's a bit slow, he means he'll torture you with foreplay till you're begging for it.

Revolving Credit said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Champagne Heathen said...

He also says he compensates in devious ways....hmmm....Daed, is that you I see lurking at the bar...!

Daedalus said...

Bwhahaha!! Rev ...
WAIT!!?
do you have a spy cam in my bedroom by chance?

Daedalus said...

I *always* lurk at some bar ;)

Revolving Credit said...

No, but the chick I spoke to at the bar still couldn't walk straight!

Champagne Heathen said...

Oooooo man.....Daed, I'll see you at the bar straight after my yoga class. I'll be the supple energised chick, looking just slightly flustered.

Daedalus said...

Rev,
Bwhahaha!!!...
I do not hurt them ever … I promice. She (that chick) lied!

PS: Everyone waiting the traffic out? Or is that just me?

Think I am going for a smoke.

Daedalus said...

Sure Champs ...
I'll do the virtual bar thing...
erm ... errrr did you say "yoga"?

Ramone Allones said...

WTF

other-duke said...

My money's on the fact that they've done it already...

Anticipation creates hype - she's a journalist!

Champagne Heathen said...

To get back to this convo...I just had to quickly reread yesterday's banter to realise also WTF, and O-D, I think you might be on to something...it appears we all missed a vital piece of hinted info given by Peas...
"There is absolutely nothing wrong with his willy, it's lovely, I swear"

.... This is def. a comment made from an eye witness, rather than from hearsay!

other-duke said...

dikfor

Peas on Toast said...

Lol! Glad you okes finally cottoned on that we may not be shagging but we not just snogging either. ;)