Thursday, November 23, 2006

sharing is caring

Peas: I’m drowning dude.
Third Roommate: Well focus on what you have done in the last couple of days.
Peas: And if I said nothing?
Third Roommate: Ah come on, surely you’ve got through some of your admin?
Peas: OK, I’ve done one thing.
Third Roommate: What?
Peas: Well I’m not sure whether you’d want to hear it.
Third Roommate: What, you vacuumed your carpets?
Peas: No, nothing like that.
Third Roommate: Then what?
Peas; Well…
Third Roommate: Yes?
Peas: I shaved my poen.
Third Roommate: Oh my God.
Peas: You asked.
Third Roommate: That’s not admin!
Peas: It was on my list of ‘To Dos.’

Pause.

Third Roommate: It’s like that time you told me about your bunion, except way worse.
Peas: I’ve never had a bunion.
Third Roommate: Oh sorry, that was someone else.
Peas: The Ant?
Third Roommate: No, but she did have a large Fat Bastard toe she insisted on showing me when she broke it.
Peas: Your hair smells like…peaches and cream.
Third Roommate: Thanks mate. Pantene for sensitive scalps.

Interesting.

42 comments:

Insane Insomniac said...

LMAO!!!

Insane Insomniac said...

And I'm the first to comment!

joe said...

Peas has a shaved POEN! whooohoo. I wanna see a picture.

Champagne Heathen said...

Please don't mention shaved poens when Rev is taking a day off in his bed and "blogging"!!

It definitely is a To-Do thing, ESPECIALLY when you have a boyfriend. HOLD ON!! There is only one real reason why it would be on your To-Do list and that is because it is about to be, um, on display....which means....

Peas on Toast said...

Insane - yay! :)

Joe - You'd have to pay me five million dollars. Interested? ;)

Champs - Unfortunately I heard about Rev's All Day Bed Spend after I'd posted this.... :)

boldly benny said...

Champagne - I was thinking exactly the same thing when I read the post! Woohoo Peas - looks like you've got something to look forward to!

Peas on Toast said...

This little guessing game could be quite fun! :)

chewthecud said...

joe - its already up here! don't ask about the chocolate coating ;P

Champagne Heathen said...

Ok, come on Boldly Benny, we have been given free reign to a guessing game...considering I am trying to improve my image after certain blog convos (thanks Chews, for bringing my cricketing knowledge back to a public forum AGAIN), I'll let you start guessing why it was on Peas' To Do List...

Revolving Credit said...

Due to current strategic blogging negotiations between Rev & Chewy regarding the nature and content of blogs, the Revolvo Innuendo Generation Service will be unavailable until further notice.

Please refer all queries to Tom or Harry.

Harry said...

It is good to know that you attach such importance to grooming.

Peas on Toast said...

Harry, as in Rev's Harry?

Harry...dare I ask, are you hairy, Harry?

harry said...

Yes, I, unlike you, have not shaved today.

tyler said...

Excellent! That was on my to-do list until I realised I have packed my clippers in a box to go back to SA. And I need a haircut too. At least the haircut I can go to a hairdresser for, but do you think they'll include my meneer trim with my short back 'n sides? In desparate need of that optical inch you see :)

Peas on Toast said...

Harry - bless. :)

Tyer - Was just thinking about you and whether you're back! You are back right?
And you're way too humble, my boy. ;)

Tom said...

Last time I checked the barbers stool didn't have stirrups ;P

Peas on Toast said...

Chew/Tom - you'd be right there, my boy.

tom said...

short back and sides, and a little off the top (NOOOOOOOOO!!!) ;P

harry said...

Maybe, you should just get it braided.

tom said...

or beaded? done up in dreads? how about a military cut - stand to attention boys?

harry said...

Don't worry about it, just a get hair net.

Peas on Toast said...

Tom/Chewy/Harry/Rev - Gotta love schizophrenia chaps

I digress. I digest - it's off already, so beading it
would involve me gluing said beads to my poen.

Pretty, especially for Christmas. :)

tom said...

pity.... all those fancy christmas lights....

at least this way though the boyfriend will get to play the mouth organ for yuletide without getting hairball

Peas on Toast said...

Tom - "play the mouth organ for yuletide without getting hairball"

WAHAHAHA, OK you've made my day.
Um, question - why you Tom today?
(And Rev, why are you Harry?)

harry said...

Peas, read Champs comments today for source of schizophrenia.

How about we just hang some mistletoe above your poen.

Mistletoe above your Cameltoe

LOL..LMAO..ROTFL

tom said...

we undercover. its very hush-hush. i'm not supposed to even be telling you this. the fate of the world is at stake here (maybe). read champers comments to find out more :)

tom said...

ROFLMAO - kissing under the cameltoe.... you crack me up harry ;P

Champagne Heathen said...

Peas, because apparently (according to these 2 fools) I wanted "Dick". Don't ask.

Champagne Heathen said...

Under the cameltoe? Isn't that too far? Maybe Peas isn't into that sort of stuff. That's why you have the chocolate...to illustrate the designated area!

Peas on Toast said...

Harry - mistletoe above my cameltoe.
Now that's a delightful thought. ;)

Tom - fair enough, I've always liked cops and robbers.

Champs - ok. Can you deny it though? ;)
Hilarious. And touchay - The mistletoe should be placed above the cameltoe. My thighs, although an erogenous zone, aren't an enrogenous zone.

harry said...

Aren't people compelled to kiss when under mistletoe?

So anyone in close proximity to your thighs will have to knel down and pucker up.

harry said...

Tom, dude, are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Have you stapled that mistletoe to your jockstrap yet?

'ding dong merrily on high'

Peas on Toast said...

You knwo what you two reprobates are reminding me of? My days back in primary school, where the boys ran amok the classroom, giggling, attaching Christmas decorations to their balls, while encouraging upstanding lasses like myself to do the same, except I'd attach them to my poen, not my balls. As such.

I have tears streaming down my face: ding dong merrily on high?

Fuck. What next, I wonder? :)
You okes make an hysterical duo.

tom said...

reprobates? peas dont use big words if you want to insult us. we won't understand you.

ok you officially had a weird primary school. arent attaching christmas balls to your balls redundant anyway? put some glitter on - ta-da!

Revolving Credit said...

wasn't there a song that went something like 'put some sugar on it'

Might make the mistletoe experience more enjoyable

or as in Peas case, chocolate
(check link above)

Revolving Credit said...

OK, time for me to go to the office now.

Catch you guys later.

Champagne Heathen said...

How I wish that sugar rule was an all-round-year rule!

Enjoy working Rev. And wearing 'doondies' today finally!

Peas on Toast said...

Tom - I say reprobate like it's a good thing, china.

Rev - that chocolate pic was a bloody good idea, which I aim to possibly put into action. Can't believe you going to the office now, you lucky bastard.

Champers - I'm certain he said something about not wearing doondies today. But prhaps he's finally strapped up now he has to go and do work like the common people. ;)

tyler said...

The eagle lands on 5th December - enjoying the last few days of shite weather in London. I am officially going to be the palest guy in the country.

Champagne Heathen said...

Peas - it seems he was quite serious about going to work! He has been disturbingly quiet for quite awhile now! ...Unless he is asleep...or contemplating the pros of no doondies. Oh god.

As for those 2 running amuck in blog world like primary school kids...you have NO idea. You have missed much chaos over the past 2 days. Granted "Pseudonamed Dick" played a decent enough role in this, but I am claiming that I was cooerced.

Tyler - if this weather keeps up, you'll fit RIGHT IN in Gauteng when you land, so don't worry!

Revolving Credit said...

Yes I did go to the office and did put on a nice fresh pair of white cotton Jockeys.

R U happy now?

Peas on Toast said...

Bless! :)