Are my father and I actually related?
I predict the milkman was a regular at the domicile à la conception.
He informed me today, in not so many words, that he has become Darryl Kerrigan from The Castle. The protagonist who likes to live in a house on the edge of an airport, because ‘there’s so much serenidy.’
When I was in Cape Town over the holidays, he threatened to buy a househut off the sandy, windswept airstrip where he flies his plane. And tried to sell me on the idea too.
Dad: Look, it even has a built-in kitchen.
Peas: Is that a fuselage hanging from the [dying] tree next to this house?
Dad: Course it is. This place has its charms, doesn’t it?
Peas: Do you know who Darryl Kerrigan is?
Dad: No, but if he lived next to his own aeroplane hanger, he was a wise man.
Peas: Why would you want to be here overnight? You’d be lonely, not to mention ostracised by the rest of society.
Dad: No way man. I’d step into my plane directly from the shower each morning.
[The wind rattles the rusty GPS pole attached whimsically to the club house roof…the air sock cracks in the sharp wind…and sand sprays up into my face….It’s a scene out of Bhagdad Café. Except without the café.]
Peas: Why can’t you be like a normal dad and buy timeshare in Knysna or the Wild Coast or…
Dad: Why would I want to live there?
Peas: I dunno…maybe cos it’s…nice?
Dad: I’d only live here on weekends. I’ll bring my girlfriend(s) here.
Peas: Good move. They’d LOVE this place.
Dad: Did I mention the kitchen?
Peas: I cannot believe this is happening. My favourite movie turning into a reality.
Dad: I’ll be a modern day Robert Redford!
Peas: Out of Africa, Dad, is set on an expansive estate at the foot of the Ngong Hills in Kenya, backed by an exquisite coffee farm and overhung by the mighty Rift Valley.
Peas: Please help me to help you to help me see why this would be a good investment.
Dad: I can see if anyone tries to steal my plane. Right from my bedroom window.
Peas: Because people steal planes.
Dad: Besides, Cyril needs a mate.
Peas: Who is Cyril please?
Dad: The old drunken guy that lives behind the club house.
Peas: Oh my God.
He phoned me with glee to say that he now the proud owner of the househut.
“I paid for this beauty cash! R35 000 only!”
R35 000. R35 000??
A wooden thing that comes with a free drunk guy. No garden and no fence. Just a fudging runway right before the front door.
My nightmare has turned into a reality.
I need to pace around the office for a moment.