Thursday, February 15, 2007

two things

There are two things I hate in this world.

The first thing is tables.

74 comments:

boldly benny said...

Morning Peas, happy valentine's day. What like the furniture? Hope no tables get in your way today xB

Boomkind said...

Happy Valentines day to you Peas.

Multiplication Tables???

Peas on Toast said...

Benny - Happy Valentines Day to you too my dear! Hope it's a great one. xx

Boomkind - Happy Happy V-Day! And nope, just tables. :)

High in Dubai said...

Happy Val Day sweet thing,

Dude that post is a bit cryptic... What's the other thing?

And tables? - as in wooden vs plastic?

Billy said...

Huh, tables?

Happy Valentines there Miss Toast, hope its all you could wish for.

Peas on Toast said...

Dubai - happy V-Day sweet thing!

Plastic, definitely.

The other thing.

Huh?

Billy - happy V-Day you great big hunk of spunk! Hope you have a wonderful day yourself. xx

boldly benny said...

Thanks my love - to you too! I'm looking forward to a boozy dinner with my friends and BF tonight xB

ChewTheCud said...

The other thing? Carnies. Circus folk. Nomads, you know. Smell like cabbage. Small hands.

those damn tables! being all tabley! how dare they? who needs them anyway? really, i don't have the words. does that make you a furniturist by any chance?

kyknoord said...

Yeah, fuckin' tables. Carnies, too.

Peas on Toast said...

Chewy - a futurist all the way. Damn those Carnies. So old school. ;)

Kyk - and not to mention the second thing I hate.

Hot Pink Flush said...

Being of the sort that consistently walks into tables (leaving nasty suspicious bruises thigh high on my legs), i just might get what you're on about Peas, but I doubt it...

Happy V-Day babe!

Crusoe said...

I totally agree with you, just not on the furniture bit... :)

Peas on Toast said...

Hot pink - Shame babe! Happy V-Day to you too! xx

Crusoe - You agree with me on the second thing? ;)

Jam said...

I hate Valentines Day.
And tables are only good if you can hide under them.

kabintsimbi said...

Happy Valentine's Day Peas.

The Grinch stole all my happiness from me today! Stupid fucker!

Peas on Toast said...

Hello Jam!
Happy Valentines Day my sweetheart, even though the day is pants, I hope you have a lovely day anyway.
Come join me under the table. ;)

Peas on Toast said...

Kab - fuck the grinch! Damn him!
I hope you have a wonderful day, grinchfree my dear. x

Third World Ant said...

Fuuuuuuucccccckkkkk!

I HATE tables!

Peas, let's throw away all our tables today. And, whether you want it or not, happy V-day, my flattie!

Peas on Toast said...

The Ant - tell me about it! Fudging tables!
Let's get rid of all ours - a garage sale on Oxford, whaddoyoussay?

Happy V-Day my sweet flatmate! xx

Daytripper said...

Hey Peas.
Its been a while, glad to see not much has changed
Happy Valentines Day!

Jam said...

But if we threw all the tables away, what would we dance on?

Peas on Toast said...

Hey Daytripper
It's been a while hasn't it?
Happy V-Day to you too chine.

Peas on Toast said...

Jam - bar counters my friend! :)

Jam said...

*Jam hides under a table*

Peas on Toast said...

*Peas takes her hand and leads her onto the bar counter*
:)

Revolving Credit said...

So sex on the kitchen table doesn't do it for you??

Third World Ant said...

Jam, Peas - what about poles (although they're seldom about in the clubs we frequent, so doorframes make a great substitute) - they're a great prop for drunken dancing...

jon said...

My detective skills have multiplied at least tenfold by trying to figure out the hidden meanings behind your mystery posts :)

Happy V-day all.

Aynone got any tips on where to go in JHB tonight to find some V-day poen?

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - Any flat surface will do. :)

Ant - I agree! There was this one in Belgium...in Brussels..the dodgy side...me and a pole in some pub. :)

Jon - No hidden meaning today, believe it or not. There are two things I hate in this world, and one really is tables. :)

Jam said...

Ant - Mmmm. A pole. Yes, that's a good option too.

GoDsGiMp said...

I kinda hate cardies day. Tables I refrain from hating, since i can put my drink on them. Find me another surface to place my drink, a fat dog, a bald mans pallet, a womans voluptous cleavage..

Now i know what i really hate.. spelling!

Oh well happy valentines day pea's and co.

Tamaryn said...

happy valentines peas...

wanna know what I got my boyfriend for valentines day?
1 x putty ear
1 x bag of squeaky bath toys

just to show my contempt for how un-romantic the day has become...

Peas on Toast said...

Godsgimp - yip, why do we need tables anyway, when we have all of those thing? ;) Happy V-Day too!

Tamaryn - classic! I love the squeaky bath toys idea. What though is a putty ear?

Peaches said...

And the hating of tables?

Am a mate of Twisted Koeksusters and have huge fan of your blog. Keeps me thoroughly entertained and up tp speed on life back in sunny SA!

Love your work.

Peas on Toast said...

Peaches - aw thank you! :) And happy v-day to ya! x

Third World Ant said...

Come now Peas, what's the other thing?

Peas on Toast said...

Huh?
I'm sorry what?

Urk said...

porbably vodka for breakfast. makes the peas go all woozy in the head

Billy said...

Ant: Its V day.

Peas on Toast said...

Urk - nope

Billy - nope

:)

Jam said...

The second thing Peas?

Jam said...

*tap tap tap*

Peas on Toast said...

Jam - huh?
I'm sorry what?
;)

Champagne Heathen said...

Peas, you're having a garage sale on Oxford?? Is this only tables or are your posters, laptop, Chad, toaster, DSTV, self-help books also gonna be up for sale.

I can't say I am in much need of a table myself, but considering how much money I need to fix my car's brakes I might become a middle man.

All in all, it depends what wood the table is made in as to how much I like it.

I love that the shortest posts generate the most comments!

Peas on Toast said...

Nope. Only the table. Or arther the two tables we own.

One is spraypainted bronze. It's a post-modernist pine masterpiece, taken from the influence of Georges Pompidou. Keen?
It's One Million Dollars. It's a steal. In fact, I might even buy it myself.

Peaches said...

Pleasure treasure.

Happy sickly sweet hearts and flowers day to you too!

Insane Insomniac said...

I'm not going to say happy valentines day. Just want to ask...multiplication tables? or wobbly pub tables that slosh your drink everywhere?

Peas on Toast said...

Peaches - thanks sweetie.

Insane - yip. Especially those. :)

Champagne Heathen said...

One million dollars is a little out of my price range. Although I do understand that with the great demand for Pompidou-styled pieces it might actually be a steal.

Does this include shipping?

I am actually down the road from you, so all you really need to is haul on your back down the street.

GoDsGiMp said...

You know the worst kind o table's are those little side table things people have next to their couches, they are always top heavy and fall over with the slightest bump.
The dog walks past vigorously wagging its tail, table falls.
You walk past, slight leg brush, table falls.
You fart loudly, table falls.

"The hand that rocked the table!" out now.

Third World Ant said...

But you said there were TWO things that you hated!

Anonymous said...

Hey Peas, this is totally off topic but I read Smoking Legs' blog and he wishes you went to the airport to see u off after all. Don't know if that makes you feel better...Hope you have a lovely day! M.xxx

Peas on Toast said...

Champs - I'd further strap a large cactus to my nether regions than haul a table. I'll organise a U-Haul. And a nice price for you - half price in fact, just cos it's V-Day. :)

Godsgimp - Yip. Our leg falls off sometimes. On the the table I mean.

Ant - Huh? OK OK, I can't hold it in any longer:
THE SECOND THING I HATE IS:...


.........
.......
Oh check it out, what's that? Oh just something moving in the corner of my eye.

The second thing I hate is:

DUNLOP TENNIS BALLS.

Hate the fuckers.

Anonymous said...

To see him off, sorry :-)

Peas on Toast said...

M - I know, thanks babe. :)

Revolving Credit said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Revolving Credit said...

So Peas, between your 2 pet hates I assume that table-tennis is out of the question??

So is shagging the tennis instructor on the kitchen table??

Billy said...

its america without you in it?

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - out of the question completely. Cept the balls are smooth, which is half gratifying. ;)

Billy - huh?

Billy said...

dont worry, its getting out of hand...

Billy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Revolving Credit said...

So if the tennis instructor shaved his balls would that maake Dunlop more appealing to you?

??? Is this tennis instructor American??

Peas on Toast said...

Billy - on this blog? Never! :)

REv - Out of the question. Dunlop tennis balls must die. Even if the said instructor shaved his own. :)

Tamaryn said...

A putty ear is exactly what one would think it is...an ear made out of putty...

Peas on Toast said...

Tamaryn - you're a genius. It reaks of Van Gogh, yet has a strange subservient antiquity about it. Your guy should praise your amazing taste, as well as your practicality with putty.

I think I might make Dick one. :)

Tamaryn said...

Yeah, he really should. I think I've enjoyed it more than he is likely to....I've really enjoyed saying to folk 'hey, guess what I got my boyfriend for valentines? A putty ear' har har....

So more for my amusement than his...but if he hasn't realised by now that i'm not exactly normal....well...sorry for him...:)

Tamaryn said...

oh. and i didn't actually make it myself. I bought it. from the most awesomest of places, Classic Wholesalers. A shrine to cheap, tacky, gorgeous tacky THINGS....I spent three hours walking around their warehouse yesterday....just going '....wow....fokken wow...'

Revolving Credit said...

If the instructor had Slazenger Ball, would you shag him on a poke-her table??

Revolving Credit said...

Tam - are these putty ears edible?

If you nibbled on his ear,would he be putty in your hands?

Expensive Mistakes and Cheap Thrills said...

i'm not sure that the putty ear is edible....i wouldnt think so.....
I can try post a photo of it on my blog...if you would like to see said putty ear...?

Peas on Toast said...

Tamaryn - you've impressed me twofold lady. This ear thing, and the finding of it thereof, is fantastic!
Please post a pic!

Expensive Mistakes and Cheap Thrills said...

trying to take a picture of it on my cell phone and send it by MMS to my email....taking a while...bear with me...

Peas on Toast said...

Revvie - now Slazenger is completely doable.

If you have Dunlop on the one end, Slazenger is at the other.

There are two things I love in this world, and the first is:
1) Slazenger balls.

Expensive Mistakes and Cheap Thrills said...

check out the putty ear

http://batchfoo.blogspot.com/2007/02/putty-ear-for-my-valentine.html