Thursday, March 08, 2007

dad’s move of the week

This should become a regular – like Chumps Boobs of the Week, except not.

Things dad has done this week:

1) Answered the phone as:
“Gloria, is that you? Gloria, I want to sweep you away to an exotic island and…Gloria this is you right?
Peas: No Dad. It’s me. Peas.
Dad: Oh. Shit. [phone goes dead.]

2) He’s recruited his best mate to also buy a bleedin’ house on the side of the airport where he flies his plane. So Darryl Kerrigan now has a friend. They’re neighbours, and are both taking their girlfriend(s) there for weekends. Holy fuck – he’s starting a compound. They get to share the drunk guy now.

3) We have a bet going. He’s also riding the Argus this weekend and says he will beat me, and if he does, I have to buy him a couch for his new place.

4) A couch?? How about a bread bin or a Jamie Oliver garlic peeler?

5) Phoned me in the middle of the night, as he does, to relay a line from As Good As It Gets, one of our favourite movies, as he does. My dad has often admitted wanting to be Melvin.

6) (“Go sell crazy some place else, we’re all stocked up here!”) How about a nice cup of Irony Dad?

7) On my uncle/his brother:
Dad: His attempt at the Argus, thus far, is him turning his bicycle over three weeks ago to fix a puncture.
Peas: Has he been training?
Dad: His bike has remained upside down for three weeks, Peas. Contrary to popular belief, punctures do not repair themselves, no.

After a bottle of Laborie last night, the Ant and I had a doondie dance-off in our living room.


kyknoord said...

"...How about a nice cup of Irony Dad?"

Revolving Credit said...

Is a doondie dance-off where you dance so wildly your doondies fall off??

I think your dad should run for political office, maybe Minister of Housing.

Peas on Toast said...

Kyk - bless - your giggles are infectious. :)

Peas on Toast said...

Revvie - it was close bru. All our clothes came off anyway. :)

Dad would like nothing better than to run for Housing Minister. In fact, I think he's already tried before.

Hot Pink Flush said...

You know, i used to think the argus was ridden (...heh) by boring folk who had nothing to do on a saturday night, hence got up early to train on a sunday. but now i am rather thrilled by the idea of watching a bunch of oddballs - hopefully dressed in hats and feather boas - "coming round the mountain" on various two-wheeler type aparatii (plural of aparatus?), and if i am lucky, even a unicylce or two...alot mroe entertaining than i had originally imagined.

Peas on Toast said...

Hot Pink - I also used to think that. But there're some serious clowns who do it too, like at the 94.7 - people dressed like Superman with whisky in their waterbottles. It's great - I love the festive atmosphere surrounding the whole thing.

Still nervous for it though....eeeek!

Third World Ant said...

So how is my drunk serenading flatmate feeling this peachy morning? ;)

Betenoir said...

at least your dad is entertainingly crazy. and, apparently, a bit of a least when it comes to Gloria.

Peas on Toast said...

Ant - My head is pounding and my joints ache. Help.

Betenoir - I'd just love to know which girlfriend Gloria is - out of the eight. :)

Pete said...

TWA - Serenading?? I though it was a dance off?

Peas, did you go singing outside Celine Dion outside someone's window in your underpants?

Peas on Toast said...

Pete - lol!
There was also some serious karaoke going on. And my lucky flatmate got serenaded by the Annie soundtrack.
("The sun'll come out, tomorrow, betcha bottom dollr that tomorroww.....")

She's a lucky lady - having me sing to her in my undergarments. ;)

Pete said...

F*ck I'd love to hear your 'Annie' voice. This does beg the question though, why on God's green earth do you own that??

Peas on Toast said...

Because I frigging love it. :)
You should hear my Mrs Hannigan impersonation - it's one of Ant's favourites. :)

An ex bought the CD for me ages ago, but since it's a rare one to find, he ordered it from overseas. It's one of my most prized possessions.

Pete said...

THAT'S your most prized possession? Clearly an easy one to please:)

Revolving Credit said...

You said that you wonder which one of the eight Gloria is?
I wouldn't be surprised if your dad has moved on and is already in double digits.

Aren't pilots a bit like sailors, having a woman in every (air)port of call.

Peas on Toast said...

Pete - ONE of the, out of my CD collection anyway. Those things don't come by everyday.
My most prized possessions are:
1) Ludwig
2) Chad my rat
3) My computer
4) My iPod
5) Annie Soundtrack
6) My mother's red leather bomber jacket from Oxfam in 1975.

Rev - *shudder*. I sure hope not...

Revolving Credit said...

*shudder* ????

Did you just cum a little?

Peas on Toast said...

Over my father??

You're SO disgusting sometimes!

Revolving Credit said...

NO, I thought that maybe the Annie thing turned you on!

Maybe made you want to jump around in your doondies!

Peas on Toast said...

Oh, Phew. That's a relief.

hatter said...

Peas, I don't know how you have managed to complain so little about Argus training?! I'm doing my first Argus this year and I also started my first blog around the same time I started training. ALL I have managed to bitch about is frikken cycling. Anyway, good luck! Hopefully see you at the end. I'll be the one re-hydrating with an alcoholic beverage.

Peas on Toast said...

Hatter - best of luck for it my dear! I must say I haven't done much complaining have I? But I'll make up for it when I can't sit on my bottom for an entire week and need to rant. See you at the end! :)

other-duke said...

speaking of punctures, how are yours? sounded like you had a bummer in the last race. take spares - or you'll be sleeping on that new couch :)