Tuesday, March 06, 2007

tour de soweto

It’s a surreal experience being stuck in the middle of Soweto with a dead cell phone, no money, no vehicle and no clue.
Twice.
Twice.

I did the Tour de Soweto this weekend – the 52 kayer. Well I attempted it, and after 15 kms, I got a puncture on my back wheel. I haven’t the first fudging clue to change a tyre, so I sommer just parked off on the side of the road and waited for someone, so willing, so help me put in my spare.

One guy stopped, including a few interested locals, who bless, seeing this frustrated and cursing female came to chat to me.

Freewheeled down the road, then climbed the hill again – the almost exact spot – not ten minutes later – I get another puncture.
Un-lucky.

Then the chain falls off, I have no more water, everything that possibly could go wrong, did. I limped to a Metro Cop, who seemed positively disinterested in my demise. The locals and other cyclicts were very gung-ho though, always asking if I was alright and willing to stop.

Eventually some gelled-up biking tycoons picked me up in their Golf 5 – and as I sat down in the freshly air-conditioned car, smelling vaguely of magnolia musk, the two bananas in the back of my jersey split open and smooshed into their spanking new seats.
Nice.
Mortified, I sat in the banana moosh for close to half an hour without making a squeak, then jumping out very quickly.

It was odd to feel frustrated at not finishing a race, when the Old Peas would’ve felt relief and copping-out, would’ve headed to the nearest bar to drink and smoke her lungs out in celebration. Not today. Now I was mad. And had a mini-tantrum down Vilikazi Street – the same place of the Soweto Uprising of 1976, coincidentally. (“Where you now Hector Pietersen? Huh? Flat tyre(s) here, hello?”) Smoking Legs managed to finish the whole thing, that little machine.

I got to skinny dip in Dick’s mother’s pool afterwards, my naked noombies shedding their dim light over the greater Westcliff area, as the pool and house are on top of a hill.

PS: I'm a little bit mad today with chicks in general. Women can be unbelievable.

PPS: It's me and Dick's five month anniversary today. Bless.

37 comments:

High in Dubai said...

Hey Peas,

Bless both your cotton doondies! 5 months - basically a life-time in relationship years... Well to me anyway.

Pity about the race; I'm sure the next one will be funtastic. Funny that a little bike race is just another drama filled day in your life... I tell you it's peeps like you that keep things interesting.

Happy Monday! I am trying faux enthusiasm...

GoDsGiMp said...

Congrats on da' five month!

Ah the race, that sucks. You shoulda got more positive reinforcement from the blogger community before you did it. Apparently the majority of people think I and T can finish the 2 oceans. And even if it is only the half marathon, that kinda faith helps..

Peas on Toast said...

Dubai - hello there my little persian rug mouse pad! :)

Yip, we've managed 5 months! Can you believe it, I even turned down a Colony Evening with C on Saturday so that I could perform during this race. Unbelievable! :)

Peas on Toast said...

Godsgimp - thanks guy! :)
It was actually a last minute thing, we decided to do it on Friday night - the decision made over a couple of drinks, of course. Good luck for the Two Oceans half - rather you than me! :)

GoDsGiMp said...

So when you ride these races..

Do you grunt like you do when normally riding...

or so says 3rd.

Peas on Toast said...

I most certainly do not.

I moan appreciatively, like I always do.

ChewTheCud said...

haha. typical damsel in distress. I hope you know learn how to change a tyre fast. Knights in shining golfs aren't gonna pop up every time ;P

Peas on Toast said...

Chew - I'm getting a repair kit today and learning how this tyre-changeover thing is done.

Jam said...

I almost don't want to comment today with that last line about chicks...
There's nothing wrong with bailing out of a race, especially after two punctures and a skipped chain. AAARGH!

Peas on Toast said...

Jam - not all chicks, and especially not you babe. Just letting out some frustration about them in general.
On the race - it had better not happen to me during the Argus on Sunday, but I'm taking my bike in tomorrow to get a check-up...:)

Jam said...

There is stuff called (I think) "snot" or something like that which you can put inside the tubes of your bike. It prevents punctures from happening so easily. Otherwise, you're gonna have to learn how to change those tubes!!!!!!!

Revolving Credit said...

A banana-split??...hahaha

Peas on Toast said...

Jam - yes w whole lot of uber cyclists were going on about snot yesterday and I thougth they were just being gross. I'll make sure I get some for my repair kit. :)

Rev - wahahah indeed. ;)

Daytripper said...

Forget the bikes!
I wanna know why you're pissed with chicks in general! C'mon spill the beans!

Peas on Toast said...

Daytripper - long story my dear.... but they just do things that men ordinarily wouldn't do, and many a time, it's of devious nature.

I'll get over it though. :)

Revolving Credit said...

Peas, you referred to Smokin Dick as "that LITTLE machine".

Is there something you're tryimg to tell us?

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - yeah...little in comprison to King Kong. :)

kabintsimbi said...

damnit, facking computer...why god damnit...right where was I?!?

Oh ja...top of the morning to you Peas...

Congrats on the 5 monther, no doubt there will be some celebrating later on...good on you!

Anyway, what doesn't blow your skirt up about the lass population? Go on, I love a bitchy rambling...they're the best!

Did the dudes in the golf notice that sif banana stench or did you manage to contain the wafts till you bolted for fresh air?

Peter Barlow said...

Aaah happy 5 months Peas! ;-) Sorry to hear about your bike woes! At least you tried!

Betenoir said...

aw, dude, you managed FIFTEEN kilometers of biking, which is no mean feat. I would have been distracted, probably by ice-cream, and not made it past 5 k's.

that said, I do miss my bicycle. You can't bike round Capetown, unless you're suicidal...

Hot Pink Flush said...

Bloody good on ya Peas! For the 5-monther and for the bike race!

racing bikes (without engines) is more than I would ever be up for... but drivign Soweto is definitely fun.

Go chicka! Can I get a whoop whoop!

Peas on Toast said...

Kab - hiya dollface! I really think they did notice the banan split...I'm a leeeetle embarrassed. :)

Chicks. OK. I am one, so I'll assume I'm an expert on their mannerisms. It's a general gripe, but although okes can be blatant about something, they're never going to pretend that it's otherwise. Chicks are blatant yet they pretend they have no idea what they're doing.
It's the 'no I'm fine' theory, when everything's not. In a nutshell.

Peter - thanks guy!

Betenoir - shit..I'm biking around CT this weekend. :) Yip all in all I did about 25 kms, so I suppose it's better than nothing.

Hot Pink - thanks my sweetie. Soweto is magic isn't it? Luckily I got to see most of the secnery - on ym boke and in the car, which is always nice. x

Insane Insomniac said...

All abd things happen in threes. Luckily you got them all over and done with in one day.

boldly benny said...

Hey Peas, congrats on 5 months sounds like things are going strong.

I have my gal gripes from time to time too, in fact I had it this past weekend. I seem to have quite a few girl-mates who'll do that "no, I'm fine" routine with me but because I'm a girl I know it's so not okay!
Good luck with it and I understand your race frustration - I busted my knee this weekend so no running for a long time, I could scream!

Peas on Toast said...

Insane - let's hope eh? ;)

Benny - oh shame man, so osrry to hear about your knee Benny? How long 'til it's fixed??
Yip the 'I'm fine' routine is one thing. I got the whole 'what do you mean I did that?' actions this weekend which has left me really peeved. Sigh.

Champagne Heathen said...

Good Luck for the Argus!!

Then smack the chick(s) over the head and say "Get over it!". Then smack them once more, just for good measure!

Pete said...

Can't believe you skipped the colon to go cycling!! Anyway, I'm sure I had a good enough time for EVERYONE:)

Peas on Toast said...

Champs - thanks my dear! ;)

Pete - I'm sure you did. C said she had a rip-roarer as well, so I know I missed a goodie. When I get back from Cape Town, I will ensure I do some Colony catching up. ;)

Pete said...

Did she really say it was a 'rip roarer'? You just spent the night watching Home and Away didn't you? :)

Peas on Toast said...

Pete - if only H & A was on on Saturdays. Then you can bet your life on it. ;)

Anonymous said...

Hi Peas. Thanks for the great read. You have such a fun life. Like something from a book. Skinny dipping in yout bf mom's pool! Great.

Good luck for the Argus - I had a ticket. But due to health reasons, couldn't do it.

Note: Don't try and peel a banana going down Chappies like me.

Peas on Toast said...

Hi Anon - Thanks man! Nah life's pretty ordinary at the moment really. :)
So what happened with the banana on Chapmans? Not too hectic over-the-handlebars I hope??

kyknoord said...

So what you're saying is you washed the residual mooshed banana off in Dick's mother's pool? Really!

Peas on Toast said...

Kyk - my bad. :)

Nah, luckily it was more all mooshed into my shirt, which I'd stripped off. ;) Luckily for Dick's mum.

other-duke said...

Happy Anniversary. What's this I hear about you riding the Argus. If you have any spare time around the race, give us a shout for a carbo-load (aka drink)

storm said...

i've got two friends riding the Argus too...apparently they're quite seasoned in this...you want me to get some advice for you???

congrats on the 5 months...can't believe it's been that long already!

Peas on Toast said...

O-D - Will definitely give you a call when I'm down in the fairest Cape. ;)

Storm - Can you believe it eh? Any advice would be greatly appreciated dollface, thanks. x