Friday, May 25, 2007

ad tedium

There is nothing more tedious in life than repetition. On a general scale. Not on this blogpage, because that doesn't count.

The song Ruby by Kaiser Chiefs.
I just can't do it anymore.
The first few 100 times was fantastic. Unlike Kyknoord, Hell scares me. Because in my version of Hell, they'll be playing this song over and over again like they do on Earth. Which takes me onto my next point:

We Are All in Hell Already
Loot and pillage, motherfuckers. I'm convinced that Hell does indeed come before the (kitsch? Did anyone else notice this?) pearly gates of Heaven. And on repetition: I can almost circumnavigate myself through this weekend like a submarine looking for oil. Like last weekend, and the one before, and the one before, I know what will happen. Jaegerbombs, prolific debauchery of a monolithic scale, singing in public, stripping off of clothes. As Satan is my wingman, it'll be large.
And they'll be playing the fucking Ruby song wherever I go. Just watch.
In The After Life, they won't let me be an alcoholic. So best I make jolly good use of my time then.
And in a few hours, I'll be smashed. God I'm excited.

Jean Pant Are All The Same And Repetition Means We're in Hell
Just how many pairs of jean pantolone can one girl have until she gets bored with her winter wardrobe? I'm sitting on five pairs. And I'm yawning.

Repetition: Missionary position is repetition. Riding the cowboy is repetition. Mix it up ferfucksakes. Not that I'm having sex now, or like, probably ever again. But for crying in a bucket, for my sake, and for the sake of my fantasies, and inanimate talk with my vibrator - mix it up for me.
But if you have sex to the Ruby Ruby Rubaaay song on in the background, don't bother. Here in Hell, we listen to Air Supply whilst boofing.

Other songs that were great until they got overplayed and fell into the repetition swill-bucket:

Natasha Bedingfield – I Want Your Babies (Shut that thing off. Hells Bells, Bordell, Fuck. The most irritating song ever created? Even the fudging Las Ketchup song played over and over again on full-blast while you're encased in porcine by-product at the bottom of a well, is better than this shit.)
Ruby – Kaiser Chiefs
Ruby – Kaiser Chiefs
Ruby – Kaiser Chiefs
Ruby – Kaiser Chiefs
Ruby – Kaiser Chiefs
Ruby – Kaiser Chiefs
Ruby – Kaiser Chiefs
Time, Love & Tenderness - Michael Bolton (oh wait, that was me. Abort)

Ah fuckit, thank God it's Friday. I can booze again.

PS: My business partner Crusoe is in London on business. Bastard wouldn't let me come along. But he did do something for me: I seriously nearly got fucked up trying to take a picture of a chav for you. They're unstoppable. I should've recorded the fucking tongue lashing she gave me. I almost told her, 'I Aint' Bovvered,' but thought better of it. Please send biltong.

33 comments:

All Blog Spots said...

nice blog

Peas on Toast said...

shot

ChewTheCud said...

The beauty of never listening to radio means I have no clue of the 3 songs you just mentioned ;P

That doesn't exclude me from having songs running around my head though... "Party all the time, party all the..."

Martin said...

Here's a thought miss O'Toast: why don't you break the routine this weekend, and live a life less ordinary?

Watch a DVD tonight (without alcohol), sleep in, then go on an excursion to a tourist attraction tomorrow. Have a picnic lunch, then go visit a bookshop and just browse (you're getting the picture?).

It's amazing how you can gain a different perspective on life just by completely throwing your usual routine away. It's refreshing, seriously!

Peas on Toast said...

Chew - I just can't escape it. 5fm, Highveld, clubs, pubs...god it follows me everywhere.

Martin - I did that all week. I do get the picture, I do. Thing is, if I do that too much I go nuts. I'm one of these people who have FOMO. It's a pandemic. "Fear Of Missing Out." But since this week has been very low key - who knows? The weekend may turn out the same...

I are wearing the jean pant said...

What? You mean there's more than one of me?? Did somebody clone me again? Guys, come on...

Feeling a little existential, are we?

Peas on Toast said...

Jean pant - would you believe it? I have five of you in my cupboard/on my floor.

But you're special, don't worry.

Martin said...

Peas, the question is: fear of missing out on what?

It's all about what you've predefined as important - when you step away from what you assume is important for a while, you sometimes realise how silly you were to see it as important in the first place.

And no, I'm not trying to be all academically profound and shit, I'm just saying.

Peas on Toast said...

Martin - I get you. But it's just not possible. Right now. I'm not asking you to agree with me, or even respect it. Thing is, I need to get out - I get cabin-fever badly, badly.
It's just who I am, and it's always been like that.

hat I can take from your thoughts is this: perhaps I'll turn down the Jaegerbombs while I'm out. Change the routine, if you will.

Jam said...

Don't get me started on that song. Or on the Nelly Furtado song. Shudder.

I are wearing the jean pant said...

Idea: Drunk jean pant shopping, 5 just aint enough :)

Peas on Toast said...

Jam - oh god. The Nelly Furtado song. Shuddering with you.

Jeanpant - I'd probably come home with the pleated, coloured 80s variety. It is not looking cool.

Martin said...

Peas, the only way to fix a serious problem (IMHO) is to get rid of all previous notions of what's possible, and what's not.

Simple as that.

And BTW, I'm not agreeing/disagreeing or respecting/disrespecting, I'm just giving what I see as an outside-of-your-usual-crowd perspective.

Peas on Toast said...

Cool, thanks Martin.
:)

hot pink flush said...

Come to a new side of town this weekend.
V cool new music at Horror cafe tonight, plus bestest afro-funk artist in teh world ever playing free concert at Mary Fitzgerald sq tongiht as well..
yay!

Koekie said...

Break the monotony... do it all backwards! Lose the clothes at sundowners, then sing in public, THEN hit the jaegerbombs.

This route will probably have the added bonus of acquiring your own straight jacket. How's that for different, punk?

Peas on Toast said...

Hot Pink - oh man! It sounds fabulous - and for some reason that part of town is way more splendido than my usual haunts. I have a birthday drinks thing though. Definite raincheck!

Koeks - lol. Perhaps whiling the weekend in a straight jacket could be rather pleasant. It would sure break the repetition. :)

boldly benny said...

Geezuz, radios can rape songs - my work has Highveld on 24 hours!
I think I'm going to go mad at times so I feel your pain.

Peas on Toast said...

Boldly - I usually listen to 5fm, but was going mental. So now have changed to Highveld, and it's the same.
Next will be Jakaranda.

boldly benny said...

The funniest when I lived in CT was KFM with DJ names like Richard Haderman - the party man or statements like "Die polslag van Saterdag"!

It is the question said...

Good grief Peas.

Did you do a few lines before posting this?

I only ask because the writing style is even more manic than usual!

IITQ

Peas on Toast said...

Boldly - oh gad. Reminds me of my East Coast Radio days...

IITQ - I don't do lines my friend. Ever. Manic is good, trust me. It's better than being sad :)

It is the question said...

Good to hear Peas.

I have an ex who was manic and did. It was not good.

kyknoord said...

Just curious, but which Air Supply song were you thinking of? 'Making love out of nothing at all' does spring to mind...

Anonymous said...

On the button again peas. Im such an idiot though. I tend to make CD's with all the latest commercial crap on (which I love and am proud off) as it hits the scene, kill it, learn the words in no time etc and then when it gets all the radio play these kinds a songs do and i've killed the songs i find myself having to turn it off ALL THE TIME!! Circular really Aaargghhhh.

Worse than Ruby (and Ruby is fucken bad) is that stupid drunkard who sings that fucken god awful godforsakenly repetitive song aboyut REHAB!!! SHUUUUT UP ALREADY!!!

Third World Ant said...

I only have one thing to say:

"Ruby ruby ruby rubaaaaaaayyyy!"

Peas on Toast said...

Kyk - yep that's the one. Alongside Two Less Lonely People In the World.
:)

Anon - Oh my God. So true, the Amy Whinehouse [sic] song about rehab. Christ, it's a bad one!

Ant - screw you. When you get home I will purposely have Take My Breath Away (your favourite favourite) on full amp, punk.

Anonymous said...

Hi Peas, I wish I had your ability to say it as it is. Excellent!

Betenoir said...

see, this is why I don't listen to the radio. That and the moronic dimwits that pass for DJ's these days.

but I hate that Beddingfield girl. I want to have her baby...brain smashed in like a watermelon!!! Grrr! Kill! violence! Anger!

Zapruder said...

Peas, I think I'd be prepared to hear Ruby 3 times a day in return for never having to hear the Natasha Bedingfield or that despicable Rehab song ever again in my life. 10 times a day if I could watch the singers of both of them being tortured!

Anonymous said...

Another winner. I miss Dr Marcus ripping you off. It actually seemed to make you better.

No such luck on this one.

Peas on Toast said...

Yeah I miss the old chap. Where's he got to?

Chantelle said...

I am SO glad I am not the only one that things that @#$%&* Natasha Bedingfield song is a bunch of overplayed Kak! :-)