Thursday, June 07, 2007

how we change

Went to the Jolly Roger last night with two of my girl friends.

There were a few things I came to the conclusion about:

1)I am completely opposite to what I was three years ago. I am cold, heartless and strong. The three mix well. Before, little things would upset me. Now, I just feel nothing. I almost miss the carefree me of three years ago. But that girl wouldn't survive today.

2)I hate men at the moment. Every single last one of them. Take offence, take it as you wish, but they've only been detrimental to my health thus far. Their faces just annoy me, nevermind their charming, shallow demeanour. Sorry guys, but it's just how I feel right now.

3)We ate our pizzas so fast – because we were so frigging hungry – it was like we inhaled them. One second my Basil Mania was there, the next I'd smashed it in my pie-hole.

We also discussed the following:
a) foreskins versus no foreskins

b) mates that claim their mates ex boyfriends. Unwritten law. It should never, ever happen.

c)PMS. And why one eats 8 000kgs of chocolate to get through it.

Get me out this city. I do not love it anymore. I used to love Johannesburg. Suffice, I love it way more than I ever loved Cape Town. But I used to explore this place, by driving through Hillbrow regularly, write stories on the place and go to dodgy ghettos to take pictures.

I fell in love with Joburg to the point where I went everywhere, did everything.
I had no problem going up Ponte Building to take pictures, or roam around Yeoville with a camera around my neck. I was obsessed with Joburg's inner city. I wrote endless freelance articles on the architecture. And now?

I don't care for it anymore. What's happened?
This is when I miss the me of three years ago.
When did I turn into such a cold, lifeless, unpassionate bitch?
I suppose when this city became too small for me.

48 comments:

kyknoord said...

Exactly how much chocolate have you been eating?

Peas on Toast said...

Bearing in mind I don't have a sweet tooth, and seldomly eat chocolate:
Two slabs this week.
To myself. In one sitting.

Da Mario said...

A men-hating cold heartless bitch hey??

Sure Peas, that and chocolate will cure you.

Peas on Toast said...

Da Mario - yeah...as I explained to Kyk, it's only because you guys have a penis and I don't.

I have penis envy.

Anonymous said...

"I hate men" is such a daft thing to say. Get a life.

Peas on Toast said...

Why, aren't you a whiny little bastard?

Being Anonymous is even more daft.

8Ball said...

Haha

Anonymous, you're not really helping our cause boet

I see the congruency between the fact that you are currently going through that unfathomable experience called "PMS", and the fact that you can't stand the site of men...

Hopefully I won't meet you till next week

8Ball said...

site?! Golly, have another one 8Ball...

um, sheepishly, "sight"

I judge people who can't spell :)

Anonymous said...

I am a woman.

Peas on Toast said...

8ball - ha ha, now that's a reasonable comment. I already like you.

Yes, I'm hoping to fall in love with Those With A Johnson again by next week. It's much healthier that way. :)

Peas on Toast said...

Anon - well you don't look like one.

Betenoir said...

I know how you feel hon. Some days (or weeks) one just feels uninspired, bored with the surroundings, and antipathetical towards huge swathes of the population.

by the way, your chocolate consumption is still amateur elague. In the midst of my flu, I consumed an entire 500 gramme packet of mixed chocs and toffees, a "local is lekker" slab, a milky bar mini, a creme egg, and some wine gums I found in the bottom of my handbag.

Peas on Toast said...

Bete - ah man, we should have a night out - you and me - under the stars.
And a shitload of chocolate.

I usually don't care for chocolate. So this is desperate times.

hot pink Flush said...

Peas, I'm gonna ignore all the choc and men comments (unlike everyone above) and focus on the Jzi stuff. Needless to say, I totally identify. I feel similarly. And yet I keep beating that damn dead horse about how much I love this city, because i wanna believe that I do. Sadly, lovin' this crabby old bitch of a pile of concrete is hard work and a bit of an abusive relationship.

I can't say I have fallen out of love with her...just...we're in a lull right now... I too used to explore the inner city relentlessly...nowadays, hell, i'd rather take a long drive out to Onbekend (yes, there is such a place - Far East Ront...quite pretty actually)...you in?

Peas on Toast said...

Hot Pink - nicely said angelpie.
I was fascinated by this place - largely because it seemed so ugly.
Thing is, you have to work at loving Joburg, where as in Cape Town, beauty is in your face.
Once you've worked through the concrete, you love Jozi even more. You've earned it. (Sheesh, I sound so fucking whimsical). But that's why I loved this place. It's actually beautiful because it's not aesthetic, if that makes any sense?

East Ront - I'm in. It's time to break boundaries. Ever been to Brakpan?

Jam said...

Ignoring men, but want chocolate. Drool drool.
The thing with Jozi is that it's a great place to achieve a few things - making money, going out endlessly, etc etc. When your priorities change, so does your passion for the city.

Peas on Toast said...

Jam - yeah, it's a fly-by-night place. And like relationships, some days you hate it, some days you love it.

I just want to love it again.

Heddles said...

You just need to express this to Mother Jozi: 'Baby let me love you'. In time she will welcome you back into her concrete bosom.

Peas, I think it's not just a JHB-specific phenomenon, but cities in general. I have a very volatile relationship with Dubai.

boldly benny said...

So weird that you dealing with the whole 'I don't love Jozi anymore' coz I'm going through it. I think the gloomy weather has sucked the inspiration this city usually gives me.

Last night someone asked me if I liked it and I found myself a bit stumped by the question. If they'd asked me a few weeks ago I would've screamed yes, but lately I find myself trying to organise weekends away to get out of here. Maybe this city and I need some space?!

Peas on Toast said...

Heddles - hey babe. Dubai is quite small I hear? I hope you guys end up loving each other too - and if not, can I share Mr Dubai with you?

Boldly - hey babe. And that's just thing I'm going to do. This month and next month I have weekends full of outdoorsy, long distance activities. Let's hope Jozi starts becoming appealing again for the both of us. :)

Heddles said...

Sweetpea it's all about open relationships.

I can't tell you how much I miss Joz-town, though it's not always a bed of petunias.

peaches said...

Hey, i have an idea...why don't you all come to Cape Town!!!!!
The only problem i have with men is in the office!! I'm still new at the work thing so i still have a lot of 'proving' to do!! Showing them that i'm not just a damn pretty face but i can actually do the job!!

Peas on Toast said...

Heddles - I'm sure. I'd probably miss the old place too.
But remember - you okes have camels and hotels shaped like boats. That's gotta be cool.

Peaches - I lived in CT for three years babe. And as a student, I loved it. But right now, I'm not so sure...

Revolving Credit said...

Lost you mojo, Peas??

or are you just feeling sorry for yourself?

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - I'm feeling sorry for myself, because I've lost my mojo.

Who wouldn't?

Hmmpph.

Revolving Credit said...

Maybe you should try and be a bit more ...."I am unapologetically crass about my overly-dramatic, binge-drinking, socialite, shoe-loving and sex-adoring behaviour that should otherwise be clandestine. I cause my own chaos. Life is a soap opera."

as opposed to..."Break ups, fuck ups, hook ups, cover ups. It's how I roll"

You gotta get your head in the right space, choose to be there.

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - au contraire. I still binge drink, I still don't care about anything clandestine, I still buy too many shoes, I'm still a drama mama, I still socialise, and I still love sex.

When I get it. :)

steve said...

So what were your thoughts on foreskin vs no foreskin?

Peas on Toast said...

Well steve, my thoughts are varied and intricate.

You'd be here all day.

Revolving Credit said...

Yes, but do you have the attitude or are you just going thru the motions.

You should chat to your fiance, maybe you just need a jolly good rogering!

Chester Pillow said...

Peas,

Some guys feel the same sometimes!
Believe it or not, we're not all shallow, we love choclate too, and we understand that pulling back an unwashed foreskin could be quite an interesting, if not Awful experience for a lady!

Trevor van de Ven said...

Fucken-a, I see some people beat me to it, but yeah. I dig the inner city, love the architecture and the loft style potential, but hell. I live in suburbia on the East Ront and it rocks.

I pull quips about it all the time. It take me 45 mins to an hour to drive from Boksburg to Hyde Park in the morning, but heng it's an exciting place.

There are actually some cool little places, like Luna Plaza Roadhouse in Benoni. Dros in Sunward Park (check out a moer or two on a Friday night). Carnival City in Brakpan (dogdish). The minedumps on a mountainbike. Harvard Cafe or TAC in Germiston (Rand Airport).

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - my fiance is in Mauritius. Bastard :)

Chester - hi big guy. Hells bells - tell me more about tis foreskin thing. This lady wants to know :)

Trevor - howdy! (again)
It's been a while since I saw the old Boksburg Lake, not to mention the time I saw Danny K at Carnival City. Frigging hell, it was an experience. Must do more of the Ronts one of these days. :)

Revolving Credit said...

This woman, Mauritius, I take it you get on well with her then...possible 3some?

Peas on Toast said...

Yeah, she's all his.
She's got a nicer tan and she speaks better French than I do.

Revolving Credit said...

Ahh...(penny drops)...you're hating all men cuz your brand new out the box fiance s off on some tropical island stumpfing some other woman??

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - yes. All my hang-ups and fuck-ups are because my new fiance is shtoinking up a storm with/in Mauritius.

Honestly, the man is lucky to be rid of me right now. :)

Revolving Credit said...

Hey, look on the bright side, maybe he'll bring you one of those horrible, oversized 'I love {place name here}' t-shirts?

It might be kak but it's still a present. At least he thought of you on his way out the airport terminal.

PS. Has Chester shown you his 4skin yet??

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - with any luck, it'll be kitscher than a Morkels twinset velour couch. :)

No word from Mr Pillow.

Revolving Credit said...

Peas, so what was the end result of your discussion?
Were you for skin or not?...haha

Peas on Toast said...

Well now, that would be telling.

Revolving Credit said...

Ok, everyone out there, can we have a vote please.

Who peels the candy off their Smarties before snacking them and who just pops the whole Smartie in their mouth??

duke said...

funny, i've just started loving London again. In February, I hated it. I reckon the weather's got a lot to do with it.

Chester Pillow said...

Mr Pillow doesn't have a foreskin, fortunately, I've donated it to the Museum of Fine Art! He he...Sorry Ladies!

hot pink flush said...

ok, Peas, and the rest...whose up for a Sunday exploring roadhouses and gambling and gettiong outa control at dodgy casino's on the east ront?

abraxas said...

You and me both lady ... i have also done photography in and around jhb, for too long, and no, i don't do it anymore either.

But to be fair, i've also found that chocolate, booze and sex are adequate substitutes.

Anonymous said...

So, peas on toast...Were u wearing gold peop toes tonight? And gold gold earings. And you were shouting about your friend chasing a grandpa?

acidicice said...

I have to agree with you on the following point:

b) mates that claim their mates ex boyfriends. Unwritten law. It should never, ever happen.

That's happened to me twice with two different girlfriends and two different boyfriends.

Suffice to say I have issues with trusting women.