You know those stupid forward emails people send around - Fill this in and tell me all your stupid personal crap no-one is really interested in?
Well I do those.
I forwarded mine to The Dove, as one of the super lucky recipients of my address book. This is what I got back:
1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
My grandfather. Consider this a labour of love, I have shit to do, and I am enduring this.
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
When I received this mail.
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING
I have three types.
4. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
No. Thank fuck for that.
5. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
On a normal day, maybe.
6. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
Is Scunthorpe boring on a wet day with the pubs closed?
7. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS
Um, how in fuck's name is that going to interest anyone? 'Tonsilitis
Party....'?
8. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
'Bungee' hmmm, I recognise that word... or is it 'bungy'? Either
way, what is the meaning of this particular 'bungee'? Cos I'm not
sure if I would jump off a hippie's description of themselves...
9. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
'Not a big fan, but if I had a gun to my head: coco pops.' (and if
you you were just seriously hungry?)
10. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
Again, Shoelace Party?
11. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
I know someone with that surname.
12. RED OR PINK?
You buying me some curtains?
13. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
I'm fearful as fuck about failure fancy falliteration.
14. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
Da Vinci.
15. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU?
Yes. Beat this one Tart.
16. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
My patience. And curry rice.
17. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
The sound of my unenthusiastic fingers tapping away at this bullshit.
18. IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
Is a 2-year old drawing what she considers to be 'mickey mouse' with
me? if that's the case, no colour. Or maybe sludge green. They're not
fond of that.
19. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
You.
20. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Fuck this is long.
21. EYE COLOR?
Blue. Still.
22. FAVORITE FOOD?
Cheese burgers
23. WHY HAVE YOU ENDED THIS EARLY AND NOT PERSEVERED TO THE END?
WOULD YOU SAY YOU'RE AN IMPATIENT TART?
Possibly. Adios amiga xx
This is why I love her.
21 comments:
I hate those things. They're usually sent by people who don't have work to do, and although I frequently fall into that category, the last thing I need is for my boss to catch me filling one in! Can you imagine...
On a related note, have you added the Filthbook application on Facebook? Mine says I'm a colossal deviant! ME?! A colossal deviant?! I'm such a nice girl...
Leigh-Anne - yip, I'm a menace at these things. My friend's reply nearly ruptured my spleen though. Love her!
Nope, I try to keep my facebook apps to a minimum, so much to choose from!
Obviously she loves you too. Most people would have just binned it.
Kyk - And most did :) Except Dove and my mother. Bless, my mother even did it.
Why not just send a murder confession and ask them to fill in the missing details, like name, address, favourite weapon, any hidden money they may have, secret love children, criminal record....you get the picture.
Rev - well now that's not such a bad idea!
Clever Rev. :)
"I did him in the billiard room with the candlestick and Colonel Mustard wasn't present."
this dove girl sounds like a lunatic. like some creative weirdo stuck on an island frustrated as shit. why don't you go join her, and write a TV series? She'd like that. immensely. hmmmmmm
Hi Dove
I love you babe. xx
PS: Anonymous? I mean, shut the fuck up.
:)
I got this exact email, and have to admit that I had a giggle at my friends replies, but nothing like Dove's!
Brilliant!
"I did him in the billiard room with the candlestick and Colonel Mustard wasn't present."
I said murder confession!!
You make it sounds like you're confessing to fetishist sex without condiments!!
Hey Peas, you're not alone I'm also obsessed with those things and find I can't delete them without filling them in.
I love sending them to my mates in the hope that they'll reply and their remarks are usually just as sarky!
Love it ;)
Sheena - she's a card hey, everyone else takes them super seriously. :)
Rev - aw, I thought you'd at least appreciate it! :) Wanna fill in my email forward?
Benny - Yay! Someone else who can't resist! I was starting to feel like the biggest loser - I'm not alone! Not that we're losers, we just fill in forwards. :)
I hate those things! And some people actually call them a 'get to know you better questionaire'!
Ches - Yip, you're a guy, you're gonna hate these things :)
However, this was a good example of my mate's character. It's pants, but fuck I had a good laugh.
Ya, was classic! Would rather answer them with Honest Sarcastic Humour than seriously! Gonna reply to some now...The Dove and yourself have started something!!
Ches - oooh please do and make them as sarky and as sidiculous as possible please.
Just been grocery shopping and am in one foul mood as a result. Need some humour. And fast.
ok, you wanted humour, and i apologise in advance for being a link whore, but i honestly dont know how else to send u the laughter without pasting and flooding your comments so here we go:
http://sheena-ifthesewallscouldtalk.blogspot.com/2007/07/chain-letters-suck.html
funnily enough, it sort of ties in with your post today too.
SheBee - awesome thanks babe!
I'm going o call my band shoelace party. the t-shirts will be frickin' AWESOME!
Bete - classic! I want one, I want one! Can I get tickets too?
1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
Seeing as I wasn't the first baby born that day, I was obviously named just after the preceeding baby.
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
Not sure, when last did the Springboks play rugby?
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING
Seeing a most of my writing is in Arial Font size 10, the answer has to be no, I prefer Calibri Font size 11, but since most of you don't have the fucking font installed on your PC's, it won't work your side, so I'll just suffer in silence.
4. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
No, I prefer adult goats, the little ones need duct tape.
5. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
I'd be my own biatch!!
6. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
Who, me as me or me as my own biatch?
7. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS
Had them removed, then tried to glue them back for aesthetic purposes, didn't work, looked a bit like throat hemorrhoids.
8. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
I lack suicidal tendancies so probably wouldn't bungee jump, however I would probably find a bungee push agreeable.
9. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
Hops - in liquid form please!
10. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
If it makes you feel better I'll staple a ribbon to my slip-ins and boots and pretend to tie and untie cute little bows.
11. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
Please clarify quetsion?
- Strong willed?
- Strong resemblance?
- strong emotion?
- strong handshake?
- strong smelling?
12. RED OR PINK?
Ooh..tough choice, to be gay or to be a Bolshevik??
Tell you what, I'd be tickled pink if we all got to go out and paint the town red!
13. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
That I fuckup grammar and spelling when I blog and generally don't give a toss. I often sounds pissed when blogging (maybe a cunning disguise)
14. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
Carguards who get in the way when you try and park and then demand payment....but don't worry, my aim is getting better!
15. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO SEND THIS BACK TO YOU?
No, send it back to yourself and fill it in again.
Repeat this until bored stiff or you die of old age.
16. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
Not sure, but I think after this post I may be made to eat some of my own words.
17. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
The gentle murmur of air-conditioning interspersed with the occassional hum of wind breaking!
18. IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
Camouflage.
19. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
That sexy voicemail woman!!
20. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Dwarf tossing.
21. EYE COLOR?
Today, red - too much alcohol in the last few days.
22. FAVORITE FOOD?
Alcohol...toxic sludge does count as food right??
23. WHY HAVE YOU ENDED THIS EARLY AND NOT PERSEVERED TO THE END?
WOULD YOU SAY YOU'RE AN IMPATIENT TART?
Brain asleep, do you have any other flavours of tart available?
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