Wednesday, August 01, 2007

can't stop listening to uncool music

I'm very happy at the moment. I have no complaints. This makes quite a change doesn't it? Not even painting my nails 100 times a day anymore. That's a good thing.

As a result, I'm listening to some frightfully uncool music at the moment. The kind that has about as much street cred as the Tooth Fairy has on the Cape Flats.

And let's face it, the Fairy runs around Constantia Village, notsomuch Mitchell's Plain.

The one problem with being happy and skippy is that my brain goes pear. Happiness is distracting. The gringo is distracting me, it's wonderful.

However. The music will have to stop.

Michael Jackson might molest little boys – and I don't dispute this – but the man can sure belt out a tune. He may couple white socks with black pants, have a melting plastic face and wear pyjamas to his own court case – but quite frankly, he does a great little We Are The World number with Dionne Warwick. I mean, who can deny world peace and shit?

Oh my aching testicle sack - which I don't have Рbut Barbra Streisand is vocal cr̬me brulee. She might spray paint her microphone white to coincide with her outfit on Oprah, and she may be a few Nigerians short of a Ponte City in the lyric department, but fuck me, she really has a voice. She can scream and yet, she still sounds like a nasal nightingale. C'mon say it, you know she's hot, you're safe here, and your friends won't know.

Michael Bolton is going out with Nicolette Sheridan of Desperate Housewives. They even got Punk'd together. He's also bumped uglies with Teri Hatcher of aforementioned television show. What a stud. True to his words of Time, Love & Tenderness, at least he believes in his own lyrics. And even further – Nicolette obviously had something to do with him cutting his hair. Which is another reason why I prefer her to Teri Hatcher. Amongst other things.

Neil Diamond. Please marry me. Well, actually don't, because Peas O'Diamond sounds very poledancer-on-the-Vegas-strip. And we can't get hitched because I'm taken at the moment. Plus I only like one of your songs - Hello Again - if I'm going to be honest.

Sheryl Crowe, that goes for you too. The only song I like of yours is The First Cut Is The Deepest. And you stole that from Rod Stewart anyway. But biggie up for supporting Lance Armstrong through his untimely testicular cancer. Bit of a bastardo for hightailing it after he got fixed, though.

24 comments:

Leigh-Anne said...

You're taken at the moment?!

So it's officially official now? As in, officially?

Peas on Toast said...

Leigh-Anne - ha ha! A little :)

Anonymous said...

Good for you peas

ps. the song was stolen from cat stevens

Leigh-Anne said...

Good for you Peas!

Peas on Toast said...

Thanks chaps.

Anon - which song? The First Cut Is The Deepest? Cat Stevens? Then did Roddie Interesting Hair Stewart steal it from him - details, I want details!

:)

Vimbai said...

Congrats on you and Mr 747! Forget Cloud 9, sounds like you're cruising at an altitude of 40 000ft, hehehe.

Give Sheryl's, "Favourite Mistake" and the James Bond theme track "Tomorrow Never Dies" a listen. She's really good...promise!

Peas on Toast said...

Vimbai - thanks :)

I've heard those too...but I must say, they just don't get my groove going like a bit of First Cut. Odd I know :)

Peaches said...

Got to love cheesy music!!

Peas on Toast said...

Peaches - it really does make life less mundane doesn't it!

boldly benny said...

Hey Peas, I have the WORST taste in music. I belt it out to the Carpenters, Abba, Tiffany, the bangles and anything 80s. I adore anything kitch and cheesy. So enjoy it and know that I'm screaming into my deo can with ya ;-)

Oooo you're seeing someone - won't use the BF term coz it makes me choke so I'm not sure of your take on the term - enjoy it love!

Champagne Heathen said...

Yeah, as far as I've always known, it was a Cat Steven's song - the first cut one.

Congrats on the new relationship! I hope it's a gorgeous one. Filled with a silly amount of incredible (safe) pomping.

Peas on Toast said...

Boldly - we should really collaborate babe. I was merrily humming to the Carpenters last night! Amongst all sorts of other crap. It's the only way. ;)

Champs - Thanks! I wonder where I missed the boat with Cat Stevens?

SheBee said...

wooooo hoooooooooo.

This is fantastical!

Not so much about your music interests, mind. (Wacko Jacko? COme ON!) But 747 is distracting you in a good way, and that is kewl.

Peas on Toast said...

SheBee - Whacko Jacko, I'm telling you - the wierd man-humanoid is doing it for me right now. This is both embarrassing and irreputable. :)

Revolving Credit said...

How's the "we're not speaking to each other" friend thing going??

Peas on Toast said...

Hey Rev

Well, he's still not talking to me, I suppose taking time out to sort his head out.

I have emailed him to say hi and he replied, but he seems to be on his own mission now.
It's hard because it's never what I wanted, but what does a girl do?

Revolving Credit said...

Is he peeved at you or Widebody??

Peas on Toast said...

Both, but probably mainly me.

Betenoir said...

Never mention Barbra Streisand and Creme Brulee in the same sentence together, ever again!!! okay?!?!!

Peas on Toast said...

Bete - but, her VOICE SOUNDS LIKE....THE ULTIMATE FRENCH DESSERT!

You know it.

(PS: Please don't puke. I know it's hard. But, please don't puke.)

;)

kyknoord said...

Ye gods! I have not the words.

Peas on Toast said...

Kyk - but what would Jesus say?

DaveRich said...

You left out the uncoolest daddy of them all...what about Johnny Cash. I love his stuff......"Damn your eyes"

Peas on Toast said...

Daverich - Johnny is fantastic in that he boofed Reese Witherspoon.

Oh wait, that's a movie. ;)