Friday, July 27, 2007

the psychic pyschos

Psychic healers. As much as psychic mysticism intrigues me, I will never visit a psychic, tarot reader, or ghost medium person. I read my horoscope every week, and I can sort of palm read. But I don't want someone to actually say to me, the following:

You'll never find longterm love or happiness;
Someone close to you is going die;
You're going to die, a bus will hit you;
A rabid dog will bite you and you'll die frothing at the mouth in a mental asylum;
The guy you're shagging is shagging someone else;
You'll be a failure;
A colleague is going to stab you in the back;
You'll die homeless on the side of the William Nicol in a box;
You'll die a decripit, bitter old lady in an old age home in Boksburg and you'll own 3 000 cats.

They may not say that, but just in case they do, I'd rather not know about it, thanks.
My mum saw a psychic after her divorce. I wasn't present, but she taped the conversation while this psychic bird studied her birth charts or whatever.
She guessed my mother had a daughter who was a Virgo. (One wonders if they do background research before the consultation....)
But this woman read my chart too, and said a few things that will stick in brain forever (and I've tried to forget them, I really have, but they've emotionally scarred me):

She will not live in South Africa indefinitely. In fact, she won't live anywhere near where she has lived previously or is living right now. [At that stage I was living in Cape Town, and hadn't contemplated moving to Johannesburg as yet.]

She is very 'protected' by the 'angels' (pfft), but people will come in and out of her life for as long as she lives. The moment someone has a bad influence on her, or the path has run its course, they'll be 'removed' from her life.
[Hectic, oh my god!]

Her partners will either be very cruel or very practical. [Check. Of the former and sort of the latter.]

She should be in PR. [HELP, NO PLEASE, GOD, SERIOUSLY?]

She will change her degree. Next week she'll phone you and tell you she's enrolling in something more suited to her. [K, this was disturbing. I was registered to do a frigging B Comm. My dad didn't think journalism was a lucrative career. (It's not, but anyway) But, sure enough, I phoned my mother a week later and asked her to change my stream to media.]

She will travel a lot. [K, a trip is severely overdue, so now I know she's talking pants.]

She is very Virgo. Precise, perfectionist, creative, anal. [I wish I was a Libra or Leo sometimes, they seem to have it all good the whole time.]

Aargh! Get out of my head psychic/psycho lady who seems to have hit the nail on the head! Aargh.

I'm doomed. Doomed.

38 comments:

Vimbai said...

Morning, morning!

I agree, the whole physic/tarot reading route sounds a little too hectic. It's hard to un-hear what someone tells you...it's all so final!

PS I'm a Libra, we have it good most of the time, but definitely not always (who does?), if that's any consolation :-)

Peas on Toast said...

Vimbai - morning!

Yeah, it's permanently stuck in my brain, and I didn't even see her! Crap.

Anyway, Libra's, just because they're super charming, always undecided and totally gregarious life-of-the-party types seem to have the good end of the stick a lot. Just something I've noticed. Run with it, I say! :)

ordinarylife said...

I also find a bit hectic. I heard of someone - yes a friend of a friend - who went and the physic said she could not read the girl's future and asked to leave. She was really pissed off!

3 days later the girl was dead. It turned out she did not have a future to read!

kabintsimbi said...

Mmm, so weird! There has been this Fortune teller (well she's gone now, I didn't give in to going to pay a visit - literally) with her Gypsy caravan & colourful colours in Green Point & I've been so tempted to go on in & get a reading etc but to tell you the truth...I also didn't want to be told the shit I didn't want to hear!

Your apparent doom, which you are so scared about, is so not doom, Peas! Come now man, if you hadn't of switched to media, you would most likely never have become Peas on toast & would never have started this relationship you have with your blog & its readers! And one could argue that this is one of your more practical relationships of which you are a remarkably a 'precise, perfectionist, creative, anal' individual! And we all love you for it!

So chin up girl!

By the way, us Pisces lot are definitely the whack jobs of the group! We have that intuition, sixth sense thing going on & are so romantic it often shoots us in the foot! But hey, look on the bright side...at least you're not a Gemini - sometimes a Gem and sometimes a...well I'll leave it up to you to guess!

Peas on Toast said...

ordinarylife - oh my god! That's insane! OK, granted it's a friend of a friend - but imagine now if we were to go to a psychic and she suddenly said "we have no future to read."

I'd completely freak out. (Then die, apparently)

tyrone said...

Morning Peas.

I don't believe psychics have the skill to predict the future accurately. Your destiny is determined by choices which you make based on inner wisdom which is developed and honed through life-experiences. I believe they have an ability to general understand the direction someone's life might take but they can't be in tune to every choice you'll make unless they know every experience you've had.

What's more, if you go to a psychic and you're told about certain events that will happen, this will ultimately effect future choices you'll make as on a subconscious level this is an experience out of which you will learn something and your inner wisdom will grow accordingly.

I do believe in a realm outside of the physical world in which we live but I think its far deeper than the "simple" spiritual things we work with today, i.e. tarot cards, palms, tea leaves, etc.

Hmmm...

tyrone said...

PS! After that serious post from me I thought you should that I'm practical...

Hmmm...

;-)

Peas on Toast said...

Kab - thanks my girl! For sure, I suppose I would've dropped out of varsity if I did a B Comm anyway. It's definitely not me at all!

Don't go to the Green Point psychic! I know which one you talking about - but check ordinarylife's story above - don't do it!

Pisces. Hmmm. I knew one well. They love to dream, I hear. :)

Peas on Toast said...

Practical Tyrone - :) I completely agree. About inner-wisdom and experience versus the fact now she's told me that, perhaps has an affect on my decisions.

However, much of what she said doesn't suggest I particularly have inner-wisdom over many things, which sucks. (Bitch!) :)

Betenoir said...

that is a little spooky. but I'm a bit unimpressed by the whole "psychic vibrations" hooha. I think I'm a bit too cynical and earth-based for all the spiritualist crystal-vibe-chakra-woo-woo thing.

kabintsimbi said...

Dreaming...oh my god, I wish I could stop sometimes & come up for air! Sometimes it can be annoying...all this drifting off to fantasy worlds & what not!!!

It's not all it's cracked up to be, believe me! Actually, lately I've had far too many a dirty dream & it's getting to me now! Mmm...

Peas on Toast said...

Bete - hahah! So you not into buying that ethnic-bothnic shite on the Midlands Meander hey? No dream catchers above your bed? ;)

Leigh-Anne said...

My mother does readings with cards and tea leaves. It is so freaky! Some of the things I've seen come true are so mind boggling to think of, it's just plain scary! Some people dismiss it as bull, but others swear by it, refusing to do ANYTHING in life without consulting "the cards" beforehand... It can become addictive...

Peas on Toast said...

Leigh-Anne - wow! I can only imagine. Has she done yours, or is there a daughter-mother code to it?

Leigh-Anne said...

No ways! I'd never let her do mine! I only had a reading done once in my life, about 3 years ago, at a house of ill repute in George. Basically he didn't tell me anything I didn't know. What I remember most clearly is the guy telling me that I would soon leave George. As true as Bob, 2 weeks later I moved to Cape Town.

A girl I worked with in George was told by the same guy that she would soon meet the man she would marry. She'd recognise him by his blue eyes and his "big blue car"... 2 weeks later she met a millionaire farmer with blue eyes and a big blue Mercedes, he swept her off her feet, and a week after that they got married!

I think that was more due to the power of suggestion than anything else though... :D

Leigh-Anne said...

Kabintsimbi - you're Pisces? All the best people are! I'm the 8th of March, when are you?

Peas on Toast said...

Leigh-Anne - shitters! Yeah, I suppose that's it - the power of suggestion and looking out for things as they happen.

kabintsimbi said...

Leigh-Anne - I was born around 15:00 pm on 28 February 1984. Thank god my mom had an epidural as I would have been born more than likely on 29 February & would only be considered about nearly 6 years old now! Crazy thought that!

Interesting story re: what you & your mate were told. I believe that some things happen for a reason & maybe someone like that just needs to give you a nudge in the right direction & wham, you're headed on in to your future!

Things happen for a reason I guess, as crazy as they may seem!

And yes, I have to agree with you...Pisces folk definitely are the bees knees! There's something about us!

Revolving Credit said...

These people shouldn't be palm readers, they should be bum readers.

They should tell your future by looking at your ass cheeks, any dimples and/or stretch marks and by examining your crack.

Why read your bum, not your palm you ask?

Well it's quite simple, you see, these peeps might as well be reading you ass because whatever their prediction, they inevitabily see shit coming!

Other said...

Some people have the wrong idea about physic's...and some physic's have the wrong idea about themselves. Physic's can be glorified clairvoyants who practice ancient soothsaying or fortune telling, mostly inaccurate and commercialised! Clairvoyance is clear thought and vision or activating the a sense other than the known 5. Which is really the ability to read/sense signs from or communciate with or spirit guides..through meditation, etc. Medium's are miss categorised and are really clairvoyants who communicate or get messages from the spirit world! I come from a long line of clairvoyants, all non practising and some who have never encouraged spiritual needs. Either way, it's there and real, for the open/spiritual minded! At least I believe so...

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - as like everyone else! So you reckon I give it a try? "Looketh at my arsseth. Is it bovvered?"

Other - I get you, and I believe that it's very real too. However, that's why I am scared to go to either of the above, simply because what they told my mother all seems to be nail-on-the-head stuff. I firmly believe ignorance is bliss in this case.

Revolving Credit said...

This is all bullshit, if they're so great, here's my 250 bucks consultation fee, now tell me the next set of winning lottery numbers!

Come on, tell me into a beleiver!

Leigh-Anne said...

Um, I can't speak for anyone else, but in my mother's case, she sucks at lotto numbers, never has more than 3 numbers, BUT she's banned from every casino in the eastern cape because they think she cheats! HA! For real...

Other said...

Peas - Most of the times it's guidance rather than fortune telling..We really guide our own lives, but sometimes a little help from the spirit world is comforting, and at first maybe a little confusing. But the pieces soon fall together, whether you were expecting them to or not!

Leigh-Anne said...

Also, she predicted my uncle's suicide, and murder of his 2 kids, the week before it happened! She tried to stop it, even alerted the police, but no one believed her... She ended up having a nervous breakdown and ended up at the loony bin... The following Monday, my uncle's suicide was on the front page of the local newspaper...

You don't have to believe something for it to be real, Rev, truth is impervious to doubt.

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - have you been drinking again? ;)

K, well Leigh-Anne's mum's three lottery thing is kind of special - hectic! Three numbers is at leasta few bob - not the million sure - but a few bob!

Other - perhaps. But I'm scared the spirits may tell me I'm doomed to a life of unhappiness or something. I'd rather not know, although I do find it fascinating.

Anonymous said...

Media? You did film studies and the like, didn't you? You didn't study journalism.

Revolving Credit said...

Hey, don't get me wrong, I believe in spirit guides.
Last night, for example, Jack Daniels was my spirit guide.

Quite simply, if you believe that something will influence you, then it will...it's all in the mind.

Or in the case of last nights spirit guide, it's all in the hangover!

Peas on Toast said...

Anon - I did film and media, majoring in media. Who the hell are you, faceless creature?

Rev - Last night my spirit guide was excessively inexpensive red wine...

tyrone said...

There seems to be a lot of spiritual guidance happening around here. Who's going guiding tonight?

Leigh-Anne - how did the police, etc., react when your mom's predictions came true?

Truth might be impervious to doubt but surely if there was so much truth / evidence to support this type of thing, it would at least hold some type of credibility and not be seen as it is?

I have no doubt that if there is a sense available to us to communicate with the spiritual thing. But, it is so underdeveloped in general that most attempts at doing it are just plain dangerous and should rather not be done at all. Those people that have managed to refine it to a point where it could be genuinely useful are few and far between and don't (for whatever reason) seem to be able to convince people of its authenticity...

Peas on Toast said...

Tyrone - well I'm being guided to a 95th birthday party tonight, can you believe it! All very lavish and such...should be fun!

kabintsimbi said...

Mmm, I wonder what my bottom would have to say about me! Maybe 'stop sitting on me you fat thing you!'

Fucker! I always knew you weren't on my side!

tyrone said...

95th? HELLS BELLS. Well done to the person celebrating. WOW!

So guessing you won't be boy scouting?

Peas on Toast said...

Tyrone - no boy scouting. Don't need to do that at the moment :)

Yip, this lady is quite something!

Revolving Credit said...

Let me guess 95 = 19x5

You're going partying with 5 19year old guys?

We've debated the clairvoyant bum theory, but tell me, can your pussy foretell the future?

Leigh-Anne said...

Stunned disbelief which evolved into distrust: they thought she might have had something to do with it. Which is really fucked up seeing as she was locked up in the loony bin at the time... Anyway, it happened years ago... On the 31st of October it will be exactly 10 years since it happened...

kyknoord said...

I've adopted Moonflakes approach for dealing with psychics: I punch them in the face. If the punch lands, then you know they're fake.

Peas on Toast said...

Kyk - I like that, a tried and tested-can't-go-wronger!

One could also say, "Well, I'm not going to pay you now [that you've told me I'm going to die]. But you knew that already right?"