Thursday, July 26, 2007

school reunion

So I went to a little school reunion last night. We do this a lot. Have school get together's. Well at least once a year anyway, and that's when we don't see each other all the time as it is.

One thing that sticks: we're all a bunch of alcoholics. Well, no that's unfair. I am an alcoholic, and I was in good company. Too much wine, shitters, WAY TOO MUCH wine. I'm feeling another side of rough this morning.

People may be getting engaged, or are getting the Goldman Sachs account, or are popping out kids, but one vital and common thread keeps us all intact.
Wine.
We're a class of boozers. Our friend alcohol always bridges the gap. It was so nice to catch up with girls I haven't seen in a while.

That. And boodie-calling at an unacceptable hour. Yessirree. I did that last night.
Shit.

76 comments:

Peaches said...

Sounds proper lady!

Revolving Credit said...

Has Lucas extracted payment??

Peas on Toast said...

Peaches - it was :)

Rev - * sigh *...I'm severely hungover today Rev. You sure you wanna walk down this path?

tyrone said...

Peas, boodie-calling = phone Mr 747 late at night???

Anonymous said...

Is that boodie-call a regrettable one?

Anonymous said...

Is that boodie-call a regrettable one?

Peas on Toast said...

Tyrone - correct. ;)

Anonymous - no I don't regret it.

Sheena said...

Ok, so lemme get this straight:

booty calling does not = nap over, right?

it = actual bumping of genitalia?

Just so's we're all clear here...

Peas on Toast said...

Sheena - hahahah!

No boodie-calling is phoning up the object of your desire (this often hapens after lots of wine and you're feeling horny), and offering to do dirty things to him. You know, leading to a bit of rough and tumble.

But like this morning, I'm sure glad it didn't happen. :) Yet...

Sheena said...

You see why I had to ask?!


High 5 for not having a shag for the sake of a shag tho.

Peas on Toast said...

Yeah most boody calls go along the lines of, "Whatcha [hic] doing right now? Let's fuck each other's brains out."

Mine are more like, "Can we snoggy snoggy smoochie smoochie please? Without our clothes on?"

I'm a prude. ;)

Revolving Credit said...

So what exactly was the problem?

1) The fact that you made the boodie-call?

or

2) The fact that it was done at an unacceptable hour?

or

3) The fact that you didn't get any?

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - Well,
1) Yes. Although he was warned it may happen.

2) Yes.

3) No, not really ;)

Revolving Credit said...

Now if you'd done the booty-call properly, this morning the source of the pain wouldn't be in your head, but between your legs.

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - who said anything about shagging?

"I want to sit on your face."

JUUUUUUUUST KIDDING. Sorry hangover humour. Christ, help.

Revolving Credit said...

"I want to sit on your face."

What, as in
"Read my lips!"
or
"You've got a face like a toilet seat"

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - I know, let's change the subject. Tell me a dirty joke.

Revolving Credit said...

PS. I don't think "I want to sit on your face" qualifies as a booty-call.

It's probably more of a muff-message!

ekke said...

I'd offer to tell you one too, but I only know one, and it got me banned from talking to anyone at work for an hour. :(

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - lovely.

Ekke - tell it! I know Rev will want to hear it!

ekke said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Revolving Credit said...

Just a thought, does Lucas accept PayPal?

tyrone said...

"Muff-message" ... LOVE IT REV!

Peas, the high-integrity, nice guy, caring side of me says well done on keeping your boodie to yourself.

The horny, brain-in-my-penis, think-like-a-typical-man, side of me says sorry for you. A shag for the sake of a shag is wonderful experience. Very guy. But wonderful.

I've never had a boodie-call that talks about sitting on my face. Pity that.

So ANYWAY, enough dirt for the moment. Was channel hopping last night (going through contracts is a drag) and came across FATAL ATTRACTION... Hmmmm... So yesterday.

Peas on Toast said...

Wooooooaaaaaaaah.

Never in my wildest imagination(s) did I expect that.

Holy shit that's terrible!

Revolving Credit said...

Ekke, whay not just stick your dick in the blender as well??

Peas on Toast said...

Tyrone - yeah I plan to keep my doondies on for a long while.
It could be months until I have sex, honestly.

But it doesn't mean I think about it lots :)

Fatal Attraction is one of my all time favourites :)

Peas on Toast said...

Rev and Ekke - STOP THE BUS. I'M GETTING OFF.

And no not in that way. That joke was scarring.

ekke said...

:(

Revolving Credit said...

WOULD SOMEONE PLEASE JUST SHAG THIS WOMAN AND GET IT OVER WITH!

Are you a talker or a do'er
(or maybe a moaner)

ekke said...

*raises hand*

*buys chicky meal*

*taps lucas on the shoulder*

*gets banned from peas' blog*

Peas on Toast said...

Dude I had no idea how hectic that would be.
Sorry still recovering.

OK, you know what would be better? A story about cute little lambs or something skipping over fields full of flowers or something about world peace. Just to level it out.

;)

ekke said...

deal.

i have an awesomely awesome story about a fierce little field mouse.

give me 2 minutes...

Chester Pillow said...

Was that your '10' year reunion Pea's! ;'0

Peas on Toast said...

Ches - no babe, definitely not. Nine years this year, ten years NEXT year. Ulp.

The ten year one is a big affair involving a weekend in the Midlands, old teachers, school walk-arounds, etc etc.

Revolving Credit said...

Mary had a little lamb
and a little pig
and a little donkey
and a little chicken

Mary was quite the barnyard slut!

Chester Pillow said...

Geez...You can't be the same age as me?

Peas on Toast said...

Ches - Are you saying I look old dude?
Is that what you're saying?

PS: Ultra hungover sensitive today, so choose your words wisely.

ekke said...

I am nearly finished writing your 'cheer-up-litte-miss-headachey-pants-peas' story.

Please hold.

Your call is important to us.

ekke said...

Far away, up to the north, even past those crooked hills, lies a watering hole, tucked away in the deep African bush.

It’s a favourite of all the animals, big and small, who love to go down to the watering hole on a hot, burning African summers day, to swim, play and cool their hides in the clear waters. Elephants, rhinos, antelope, crocodiles, zebras – from the biggest of all the big to the smallest of all the small, they swim and play. A subtle truce between all the animals, if you will…

One day, noon, the hottest day of the the hottest part of the hot part of the year, the animals are swimming and playing. When suddenly – BLAMMO!

Out from the brush on the side of the watering hole bursts a field mouse. A small, little fieldmouse. But this field mouseis no ordinary field mouse today. Oh no. his eyes are blazing, his expression set fierce! He walks right up to the edge of the watering hole, right up to the biggest, most enormousest crocodile in the watering hole and says, fierce as a fierce fieldmouse can say, ‘Mr Crocodile, GET OUT OF THE WATER!”

Mr Crocodile, in no mood to tangle with a mouse in a mood so fierce, leaps from the water. The fierce little fieldmouse loooooooks him up and down, and says (very fiercely, mind.) “Mr Crocodile, DO NOT MOVE!”

He then walks. No, he stomps, as fierce as fierce can be, does this little of all little fieldmouses, along the edge of the watering hole. Up to the biggest, most gigantivorous elephant you ever did see. He yells, (he commands!) in his fiercest tones: “Big Mr Oliphaunt! GET. OUT. OF. THE. WATER.”

Big old Mr Elephant is in no way going to tangle with such a fieldmouse in such a mood, so he leaps out of the watering hole. Our little, small yet incredibly fiercely-expressioned field mouse looooooooooks the elepaphant up and down, all around and everywhere. He says after looking the elephant all over ‘Okay, Ellie. Don’t you MOVE!’ and carries on storming around the waterhole…

But there’s this monkey.

And this monkey, being rather curious, is getting curiouser and curiouser about the extremely fierce state of this extremely little field mouse. So gingerly, carefull, and quietly, he creeps up to the fieldmouse. “Excuse me, Mr Fieldmouse sir, I can’t help but notice you’re quite the crosspatch today. You are, quite fiercely might add, demanding these enormous animals to get out of the water on this hot hot day, and looking them up and down so fiercely. Might I enquire as to why you are in such a mood?”

“WELL!” says our little fieldmouse, in the fiercest voice he can muster…

“SOMEBODY… STOLE. MY. SPEEDO.”

:)

Peas on Toast said...

Ekke - bless, you're forgiven. :)

ekke said...

What, no applause? ;)

Chester Pillow said...

Just the opposite! ;')

ekke said...

You mean the sound of two hands moving away from each other really quickly?

Peas on Toast said...

Ches - nicely said :)

Ekke *applause! *

Anonymous said...

Peas, dont you think you should remove that "joke" / really disgusting attempt by ekke so that the rest of the folk reading dont have to be subjected to that really distasteful / completely politically incorrect brain melt.

ekke said...

Done. Sorry about it.

Revolving Credit said...

Politically correct - OMG

Who let the censores in???

Whats next? Shall we go hunt down some communists?

ekke said...

YES!
And then stick silhouettes of their faces on t-shirts and sell them in capitalist stores.

That'll learn 'em.

tyrone said...

Let's also ban homesexuality, bring back 2-21 age restriction and apply it to films where people actually SNOG.

Oh, weed is evil like crack.

Save me from the ultra-prudes.

tyrone said...

Peas, I quote "Mine are more like, 'Can we snoggy snoggy smoochie smoochie please? Without our clothes on?'"

Now in my book, your clothes are considered on until such time as doondies are off...

You gotta decide girl.

Chicken or the pig?

Revolving Credit said...

Tyrone, WTF is homesexuality?

Like to have sex at home has age restrictions applied??

So shagging in the back of your car or in the Pick-n-Pay frozen foods section is still ok???

Peas on Toast said...

Anon - I thought about removing it, and seriously considered it - and am still considering it - but am undecided. It's gross and disgusting, but at the same time, it's blogging.

Am pragmatic about this today. Too much for my hungover brain.

Revolving Credit said...

Peas, your brain is obviously fried.
Stop thinking about it, Ekke has already removed it.

Go make a boodie-call, it'll make you feel better!

Peas on Toast said...

Anon and Ekke - OK have thought about it now, sorry was in a meeting.

And came here to remove his comment. It was horrific, sorry Ekke.

But I see you've already done it, so well done you.

Revolving Credit said...

What's up with the censorship guys, this has got to be a first?

Revolving Credit said...

have we ever attempted to be politically correct?

Peas on Toast said...

Rev. No we're never politically correct. But there's always something that can push it too far. You have to agree there.

Usually I wouldn't censor anything. Sexual banter etc etc and being revolting has it's charms, and I wouldn't censor that ordinarily. You know me.

Revolving Credit said...

OK, give me an example of 'something being pushed too far'

(please exclude any references to your virginity which may have regrown)

Peas on Toast said...

Rev, for goodness sake man. Ekke's joke would be offensive to around 99% of the population. Give or take, that's too far for most people.

Why we harping on this?

Revolving Credit said...

Because it can :)
..and because you're hungover.

R we about to have a fight, come on, lets have a fight...it's kak cold here in the Cape and I need something to get the blood flowing and get circulation back into my limbs.

I'll start - 'I throw a pie in your face'

Peas on Toast said...

K, cool.

* throws a haggis at Rev and hits him square in the tochas *

Revolving Credit said...

Ermmm...hang on,
if I was Smile-High Bootie Call Guy, I'd probably go:
'I throw a face in your pie'

Sheena said...

Jeez dudes. It was a kak joke. Lets get over it and move on.

Peas on Toast said...

Sheena - he he, please throw something at Rev. And knock him out :)

Sheena said...

Rev, I'm distracting you.

**boob flash**

Revolving Credit said...

I stretch as far as possible and then..twang...shoot you both with a jockstrap in the face.

PS. Sorry, didn't have time to wash them in the past 2 weeks, but don't worry, I only wore it for 4 days.

Peas on Toast said...

* smothers Rev with Mrs Goldberg's doondies which she's been wearing since 1934 *

Sheena said...

Both of you are siff.

Eeeeeeeeeeeeew.

Revolving Credit said...

Advice to Peas, first take Mrs Goldberg out of doondies and try again - it's much easier that way.

Rev stands behind Peas, picking his nose and flicking little half dry snotty mucous globules into her hair...hehehe..and she can't see him doing it.

Sheena said...

Right. Um. As much of an entertainment as this is, I have given myself off an hour before time. So, caio!

Stop throwing snollies and kak at eachother ffs!

Revolving Credit said...

Rev leopard crawls to washing line, uses stealthly lit cigarette to burn nipple holes in Peas's freshly laundered bras.

Uses craft knife to cut 2cm of elasticated clothe/cord from each side of matching bikini bottoms.

Reattaches cord to bikini with needle & thread, with waist band now reduced by 4cm of elastic.

**Ooohh....guess who's going to feel so much fatter when she tries fitting into her own doondies later...hahaha..(evil laugh & grin & chuckle)***

Revolving Credit said...

Rev is thinking that Peas is a bit quiet!!

Maybe the jockstrap to the face knocked her out....therefore

I WIN, I WIN, I WIN!!

says Rev dancing around like a leuprachan on acid down the riverdance!

Peas on Toast said...

No Rev, WRONG. I'm still here, wearing my bikini that's too small for me.

Luckily my gold one fits. A HA! YOU THINK YOU WIN! BUT YOU DON'T!!!
:)

Revolving Credit said...

I take it that now that you've regained consciuousness, you didn't notice that fact that I had soaked your gold bikini in Instant Tan.

The good news is that you now have tan lines.

Tha bad news is that they're the wrong way round.

The bits covered by the bikini are now a darker hue of orange, the rest of you is not.

You now have an inverse tan.

I'M STILL WEEENNING!!

Revolving Credit said...

Quiet again?

She must have fainted again due to the stale jockstrap odours!!! or caught a left upper jockstrap on the jaw from the rebound.

10..9..8..7..6..5..4..3..2..1..you're out!

I AM THE WEEINNEER!!

I'll pick fight again tomorrow, that was fun!

Peas on Toast said...

No boet. I AM THE WINNER.

BECAUSE TAN LINES DON'T SCARE ME.