Friday, August 31, 2007

a new low

So, as life was merrily chugging along and things were relatively peaceful and quiet around here, it all had to go and change.

I'm having trouble sleeping, breathing, eating and being a normal human being right now. The Ant left yesterday. She's officially gone. I cried and cried and cried. I will find out the future of my job today. Or if it even has a future. This is extremely nerve wracking. And I'm already crying from the stress of the verdict; how we will go forward, or IF we will continue.

Wibble has become my baby. Not only does this stress me out, but it depresses me too - it's been my project since it's launch two months ago.

All I know is that later, I'm going out to get completely fucked. This week has been unbelievably awful. And later, I'll either be drowning my sorrows or celebrating. Drown me in a vat of tequila. I don't want Ant to go, I miss her already, I don't want to move in with mum, I don't want to sell my car, I don't want to be destitute next month.

I'm so stressed out, I didn't even attend a drinks do last night where my old headmaster was sponsoring the booze. I don't want him to think I'm bipolar, so I instead watched Top Billing and cried like a baby.

Wish me luck. My future is on the line.


Sweetass RSA said...

fuck everything does suck sometimes. it is what it is ~ just go with the flow. good times girl!

Peas on Toast said...

Sweetass RSA - Please pass me what you're smoking, everything sucks and I need to chill.

Anonymous said...

Hey Peas, chin up girl!!! I'll be having a few (read: MANY) tequilas later because of my own shit too. So here's to us!!!

"The Edge"

Peas on Toast said...

The Edge - thanks my dear- here's to us, and chin chin on the tequila. Hope your shit sorts itself out. x

tyrone said...

Morning Peas!!

What a shitty Friday! Sorry babe.

Will be thinking of you. I know it will work out.


acidicice said...

I know you're blue right now, but you of all people should know that eventually everything sorts itself out, no matter how bad it gets.

You'll be fine. It'll get better. In the meantime you can live through this in a boozy haze.

The sun will come out...TO-MU-RA! Bet your bottom dollar....

Peas on Toast said...

Thanks Tyrone. Let's hope....:(

acidice - yip, somehow life always manages to go on. In the meantime, life stands still. It's torture.:(

Champagne Heathen said...

Hey Peas, all the best for whatever is about to pan out in the next while!! That's about all that can be wished, I guess. And congrats on the relationship. Nothing like a good (safe) shagging session to distract you for a few hours from your stresses every once in awhile!

SheBee said...

Sending you lots of hugs, babe.

Hope this weekend sees you chippererer :/

Love Bee

Peas on Toast said...

Champers - thanks my dear. This bird has taken a different approach to shagging this time however - I'm leaving my chastity belt on for as long as I possibly can. Almost devoutly. I call it self-preservation, others call it nuts. ;) Hope you had a good trip to the US!

Thanks Bee. Hugs are good, they work wonders, as I discovered last night.

Champagne Heathen said...

George Bush & his right-wing abstinence promoters would be so proud of your new approach!

Should the Wibble venture sadly not work out, I know where you can find many a well-paid job, as funded by the US of crazy A, in the aids/ sex world.

[America was ridiculous. I need a holiday. And apparently I left to soon & my mates made it to Mexico this week!]

Peas on Toast said...

Champs - having George Bush be proud of me is nothing to be proud of :(
But it works for me right now, we'll see in the future.

Mexico, oh man, take me there right now! I could happily drink up a storm in Baja and never return! Lucky friends of yours, indeed :(

Katie said...

oh pea pod my little angel...i wish i was there to spark you up a hemp guy and het you a long island ice tea!! Just know you are loved very much and things will work out!!
They always do!!

chin chin girlfriend! Lots of love X check your FB

Peas on Toast said...

Thanks Katie! You have blessed my tochas and made me feel a helluva less crap about everything today - thanks for your gift! So apt!

You're an absolute star xxxx

Sambo said...

Hey Peas, I don't know if you know the demographics of people who read you daily. Perhaps you can post this for interest sake. I am thirty-two, yes I am, and a copywriter and I simply can't do without my daily dose of you. So If this menial fact is any consolation. Good. Furthermore, You rock, and inspire many many people and if you believe in the law of retribution then you should know by now that only good things will happen for you.

ThomG said...

Luck, Peas. Anything I can do from a world away in Cali, let me know. I am going to raise a glass of whiskey in your honor tonight anyway. Jut remember - it's still a good time to be you. "Pull your pants down, and slide on the ice."

DanielThomas said...

That friend of yours, he said, indicating the unconscious figure at the further end of the house, seems to be a queer sort of a Dick.. Either he awakens or he succeeds in sleeping on.. He arose and shouted: Whoa, Balaam! Again he seized the nearest weapon, and sought satisfaction.. The act of birth, moreover, is the first experience with fear, and is thus the source and model of the emotion of fear.. In spite of the rapidity with which this enumeration of counter-charges was made, Mr.. He sat down on the porch and lit a strong cigar.. The dream exhibits my friend as behaving like a general paralytic, and thus riots in absurdity.. It is a blessed discovery, the invention of these educationary games; so that even the play-time of children can be turned to account.. You 'n' me can settle whensomever it's convenant, say three months from to-day.. No sooner had I entered the water than this bird took it into his head to fly away with the most indispensable portion of my apparel.. Recently I allowed an opportunity of requiting him to go by.. It is condensation that is mainly responsible for the strange impression of the dream, for we know of nothing analogous to it in the normal psychic life accessible to consciousness.. for seven months, and a mortgage on ten mules belonging to the elder was drawn and signed.. They were chatting gaily when the Ellsworths came down the stairs.. The scene is where Colonel Calhoun entertains a few of the neighboring planters in his den.. ' Ross mentally dug within himself for sources of rich streams of conversation.. In the laugh and talk which followed (for with the conclusion of the spelling, all form of a public assembly vanishes), our schoolmaster said so many gallant things to his fair enemy, and appeared so much animated by the excitement of the contest, that Miss Bangle began to look upon him with rather more respect, and to feel somewhat indignant that a little rustic like Ellen should absorb the entire attention of the only beau.. I answer, of course, that only the analysis can decide the meaning of this dream, although I admit that at first sight it seems sensible and coherent, and looks like the opposite of a wish-fulfillment.. I'm just that way when I get thrown off the track.. Who can foresee the importance of a thorough knowledge of the structure and activities of the psychic apparatus when even our present state of knowledge produces a happy therapeutic influence in the curable forms of the psychoneuroses? What about the practical value of such study some one may ask, for psychic knowledge and for the discovering of the secret peculiarities of individual character? Have not the unconscious feelings revealed by the dream the value of real forces in the psychic life? Should we take lightly the ethical significance of the suppressed wishes which, as they now create dreams, may some day create other things? I do not feel justified in answering these questions...

ChewTheCud said...

Christ woman! Can't you just get normal spam like the rest of us?


Peas on Toast said...

Sambo - thanks so much! That warms ye olde cockles :) Bless your heart x

ThomG - thanks my dear.I hope the whiskey went down as well as my copious number of gin and tonics last night.....:(

Daniel the spammer - Sorry, huh? What? I agree with Chews here, can't you send me Viagra/porn spam like the others?

SheBee said...




David said...

Get 1 large bathtub.
Fill with Tequila
Sprinkle salt around the edge
place 1 large lemon in mouth
dive straight in