Thursday, August 30, 2007

new age relationships

Mr 747 and I changed our Facebook status to 'in a relationship' last week. It took balls.

Six months ago – an age ago - before many of us knew about Facebook, break-ups were shit, and hook ups were slow. Smatterings of people would find out about new couples on the scene, as time gradually unfolded.

I love Facebook, sometimes. Sometimes. For others, the site has gone and ruined their life. I'd imagine that arguments, previously unaccounted for or even thought about, now happen because of this fucking thing that is Facebook. Sleepless nights thinking, “fuck, why did my recent ex have to go and post pictures of himself gwedging some polar bear?”

Why are people even Facebook Friend's with their ex's? (I'm mates with two. Out of four. Because it won't ruin my day.)

Why do people update their 'relationship' statuses? Well, I'd only imagine it's because they're happy, stable and want to share this new information with their mates. I suppose it's also a way of telling everyone around them that they're not on the market anymore.

Six months ago, this wouldn't have been an issue with most of the people I know. Then you hear the horror stories of break ups that suddenly everyone knows about, or when the ex finds someone new and now “So-and-So is now in a relationship with Lalarge McTits.”

However, there are loopholes in the system. One can hide their relationship status. One can also “hide the story” so that it isn't fed into the newsfeed. Loopholes and forward thinking is sensible. But let's face it: not helluva romantic.

My point here is: before Facebook, couples had real issues. Which are taxing enough as it is. Suddenly this webpage brings a whole new dimension to couples-fighting. Why haven't you changed your status? Do you still want to be single? Don't you want your friends to know? Why did you break up with me on Facebook, you insensitive asshole? What do you mean you're suddenly 'single?' (I thought we were moving in together!)
Oh look, the ex is engaged, fancy that. This 'place' brings a whole new angst to blossoming couples.

But even so, one can't ignore Facebook. One can't pretend it doesn't matter or it doesn't exist, when it controls our lives these days. It's here; it's shit, it's everywhere, and new-age couples now have to battle the demon our parents didn't even consider within their wildest imaginations.
Man, it must've been easy dating in the 90s. Or in the 1900s, rather. Hitler and shit aside.

It's real – and unfortunately, whether you like it or not – it defines what's happening between people these days. And I believe it's only going to get worse. Who we hang out with, who we are dating, which party we went to on Saturday, which party we're going to on Friday. It's part of our reality now – and not just virtual reality either.

And therein lies a whole new ream of arguments, giggles, romantic gestures, newsfeeds, cries – new age dimensions.
Which we all have to deal with.


KaBtalk said...

Fuck, you said it sista!

That whole paragraph re: 'why not put up that we're in a relationship, are you afraid of letting your mates know' is so true with me! It pissed me off so the point that I fucked off & put single & available on my own status!

Now I'm way happier...playing the field although there is one current batter in there that I'm so keen on! He also just recently put the whole single thing up! It's a whole game that Facebookers play!

That said, don't forget the photos where you see the current beau up close & personal with a hot chick & you're like 'wtf'? You have to re-evaluate your entire trust issue thingie, which is highly annoying! I've already found myself asking 'so who is that chick you're posing so close with?' - God, I hate it!

Still, it's far too much fun!

Piss: congrats on the whole 'relationship status' thing...good times & you deserve it!

KaBtalk said...

by the's kabintsimbi...just changed to me blog name!

Peas on Toast said...

kabtalk - Yip, ignorance is always bliss. Or always was. Until Facebook came along.

It's odd how such little things on FB can irritate us, to the point where I sometimes wish I was born in the 50s and didn't have to deal with this shit.
Anyway, somehow we're all battling through this together, for the same reasons, which is good to know I suppose. ;)

Peas on Toast said...

Hello Kab, thought it was you :)

KaBtalk said...

It's me, it's me...pick me *raises hand eagerly*

Back in the 50s, thanks! I'd rather battle it out now as an independent woman who can make my own choices without having poepol men breathing down my neck!

Still...I do agree with you!

Peas on Toast said...

Ha ha, you mean the whole Pleasantville "honey I'm home, here's a freshly cooked five course meal for you" doesn't appeal to you? ;)

Kidding. It doesn't appeal to me either. However, the simplicity of it all does warm my heart. Maybe for 5 seconds ;)

SheBee said...

You know whats really funny? (hello, btw) Is when mates have just met someone, and the next day their facebook status changes. Only to have it change back to single one week later and everyone scribbles on the wall

'oh god, why single now?'
'what happened?'
'did you get your heart broken?'

pass me the bucket please.

Sorry, am cranky. not feeling too gr8 this morning.

Peas on Toast said...

SheBee - also feeling cranky. Cranky, depressed, sad, hysterical, annoyed, crazily disaparaging about the honesty and truth of the human race, cynical, pissed off, unloved, unappreciated, ready to pack my bags and leave this place, overtired, overworked, overstressed, over EVERYTHING.

So am with you - let's be pissed off together. It really helps, so everyone else out there is SO FUCKIGN SPRITELY AND HAPPY.

Sorry rant over. I'm having issues with work at the moment.

SheBee said...


Sending you one of my pep-me-up homoeopathic pills. Give me your postal address immediately.

Shame man.

Well I feel better at least ;)

(kidding) said...

This Facebook thing is getting SO crazy!
Some one should get some stats on this but I am sure "are you on facebook" has become the follow up to "hi my name is..."

once the facebook issue has been sorted you can move onto much less important things like how the person is doing or if they actually want to have a drink with you at the bar.

I want to terminate my account but than how could i contribute to ANY conversation...?

Revolving Credit said...


Peas on Toast said...

SheBee - I need Calmettes. Badly.

Bangers - so true. "Are you on FB? Oh what's your name by the way?" Then the next day you suddenly have a "new" friend. It's fucking insane.

Rev - and that's another thing. I have 20 outstanding pokes from people that I will not poke back to. I don't do the fucking poke me, bite me, throw a sheep at me thing. The site is all-consuming without that shit as it is!

PS: Is 'POKE' the new "hello?"

Betenoir said...

I have friends who seem to take a cruel pleasure in changing their relationship status every few weeks...which is confusing when they're married and they keep "breaking up" with their spouses...

Peas on Toast said...

Bete - yep. One of my mates is married and with-child.
Even though in reality he is as single as a pringle.

Revolving Credit said...

Rev joined the group
Buy Peas a drink, it sounds like she need one

Peas on Toast said...


If I didn't need a drink before, I do now. Bitch.

PS: On the flipside, you belong to that group. So which one out of the 554 people that belong are you?

Revolving Credit said...

It's actually quite amamzing the lengths that some Facebook addicts will go to!

Chester Pillow said...

Peas, does he know about us?

Peas on Toast said...

Ches - who, Mr 747?
Yip, I told him and he took the news well. He knows I reserve you for Tuesdays and Thursdays. You owe my a bunch of flowers though china, step up to the plate! :)

Chester Pillow said...

Glad he took it well!


Peas on Toast said...

Yeah. Why haven't they arrived yet? You DO know my address right?

Chester Pillow said...

Just sent you a flower on facebook! Ha's quicker, and more personal ;'O...could only afford one though!

Peas on Toast said...

Ches - oh you sweetie! Loved the message that came with it - hahahah!
Virtual flowers are my favourite :)

Chester Pillow said...

They smell better!