Thursday, September 20, 2007

what, this old thing? I did it myself.

I cut my own hair last night.
I don't visit hairdressers unless it's an emergency (ie: the hair looks like a recently sodomised tumbleweed, or I dyed it yellow like that one time).
Why go through the admin of going to a hairdresser when you can just do it yourself?

Got scissors, will cut. Saving me time, saving me money, putting me before the granny who needs her perm reblued.

Handing my disposable income to a flaming poof called Eugene who is savvy with scissors seems stupid to me. First I have to make an appointment (admin), then I have to drive there (admin), then I have to wait and watch in horror when he does something rash (admin) and then pay him R500. That'll buy a decent pair of Nine West's.

I'd rather forfeit the highlights for a pair of flashy shoes, frankly.

Albeit. I probably shouldn't have cut my own hair last night.

After having a few gin and tonics at Giles with C, I roared home, and in an absurdly implusive attack of spontaneity and stupidity, decided “fuck it – the bottom is coming off.”
Luckily I was surprisingly prudent, because it is not a complete disaster. Uneven, sure. Some bits longer than others, while other areas have just been hacked away, but strangely still intact.

I just snipped away with reckless abandon. And now, it's what I'd like to think a neo-classical masterpiece.

No one has a hair do quite like it. So I feel super special this morning.


Anonymous said...

Hi Peas on Toast

Very nice blog - came across it via AMATOMU.

Check out mine at and let me know if you wanna linkswap!


Ordinarylife said...

There are many things I do for myself but cutting my own hair is not one of them.

I think making the mission to the hairdressers twice a year is well worth the effort, and the head-massage it bliss! Also me left alone after a few glasses with sissors (if past experience is anything to go by) is not a good idea

thing said...

Congrats on the smashing new hair, Doll.

Peas on Toast said...

Anon - Cool I will do!

Ordinarylife -Now, see, you have your head screwed on straight. There aren't many people I know, girls or boys, who are willing to cut their own locks.
It takes a deep commitment to the project. It also takes balls, a bit of pinache and loyalty to the hair at hand.:)

Thing - Why spank you :)

Insane Insomniac said...

Like thi sone time I got drunk and cut my hair...using a bic razor.
Nothing says Punk Rock better than a home done hair cut!
You know what? Just spike gell the edges. No one will know the difference.

Revolving Credit said...

Come on, finish the job properly, go with the DIY blue-rinse!

Peas on Toast said...

Insane - well my hair is still long, so gelling the edges may go unnoticed. It's just the gaps I need to sort out....hmmmm. :)

Rev - Don't joke, I rinse my own hair too. Last year I dyed it purple by mistake. Maybe I'll do it blue for summer.

Billy said...

I demand a picture.

Morning Miss P

Peas on Toast said...

Morning Mr B

Tell you what - I'm gracing a room with my presence at a birthday do tonight. When I sjoojs up the old hair with green streaks and bottles of spray-on mousse, I'll post a pic :)

FiOnion said...

And here I thought I was the only eejit who does a nail-scissors-in-front-of-bathroom-mirror on-Sunday-night stunt... More times than I care to remember.

AND when I have to explain to the eventual cringing styliste why it looks like such a ruin ... I lie! Spectacularly. And tell them there was this just-qualified cretin who had ruined my hair two months previously at a salon "just down the road"....

KaBtalk said...'ve got balls chick!

Hat off to ya! Mmm...wonder what people's reaction will be though?

Peas on Toast said...

FiOnion - Yeah, I tend to do that too. Blame the non-existent hair person down the road ("That Eugene, with his flaming scissors...") But have decided no more!

When people ask what the fuck is up with my crowning glory, I will look all indignant and say, "what do you mean? I did it myself, and I think it's rather spectacular."
Which its' not. But lieing is good.

Peas on Toast said...

Kab - I got balls baby. And I frigging love my balls.

Revolving Credit said...

Just like circumcision, hair cuts are probably best not performed as a DIY exercise.

Peas on Toast said...

Ouch ouch ouch motherfucker!

No, Surgery shouldn't be done by oneself.

Revolving Credit said...

Isn't a haircut like hair surgery.

You are after all cutting off a piece of your body.

Betenoir said...

..I have cut my own hair, on occasion. I however, have crazy wavycurlybushy hair, and it never really turned out well. once, after a particularly bad fringe cut, a friend of mine insisted on calling me "woofles", after the character in "pumpkin patch"


SheBee said...

Lol. "Flaming poof called Eugene" had me in stitches!

Bete - you have been christened Woofles, from now on.

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - it didn't hurt though. I didn't need an anaesthetic to cut off my ponytail. In fact the whole process had me singing merrily to myself in the bathroom.

Cutting off one's foreskin, ouch, my god, help me, my poen hurts.

SheBee - no really, he's a flaming poof, that Eugene. :)

Bete - Woofles, bless! I suppose it's better than WhatTheFuckHaveYouDoneToYourHateMate...

Revolving Credit said...

Peas, it didn't hurt because you used GnT as an anaesthetic.

Tell me though, did it hurt when you woke up sober in the morning and looked in the mirror??

I are wearing the jean pant said...

I cut my own hair too. Way more original. Plus it gives you experience in forcing yourself to think of a mistake as "creative". Scissor cheers. *Snip*.

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - true. But do you think if I was to perform my own circumcision, a few g 'n ts would be enough??

Jean pant - why hello there, I are pleased to see you! I've seen some stray hairs as I sit here and study my follicles at my desk...and am wondering, where is my scissor? Cos I could quite happily hack away again.

storm said...

hey peasy!
i used to cut my own hair to in uni...not so much any more....long hair's easy tho

throw your head forward, cut straight in front of you and throw hair back..voila! instant 2min!!!!

Peas on Toast said...

Ooh Storm, that's a fantastic idea! I think I'm gonna try that tonight! :)