Tuesday, October 30, 2007

some things never change

Third Roommate graced me with his presence yesterday evening. It's good to know that even though so much time has passed, and so many things have happened over the last few months, our conversations haven't changed at all:

3RM: So you got anything for me to munch on...oh wait, we're at Peas' house.
Peas: Actually I do. Biscuit?
3RM: Romantic Dreams...hmmm, is this the cheap knock-off of Romany Creams?
Peas: Yeah it's the box for blind people.

oo0oo

3RM: Ooh toast.
Peas: Dude, how's the way you cut your toast? Diagonally. Like my mum did when I was 5.
3RM: How do you cut yours? Just straight across, I'll bet. That's so...manly.
Peas: No, soldiers. Little Marmite soldiers.
3RM: Right.

oo0oo

3RM: [Reading heat magazine] Dude, another thing I'm sick of are these rapper feuds.
Guys with egos the size of small countries who bump each other through a doorway, then suddenly there's massacre.
Peas: Whose it now?
3RM: Fiddy Cent and Kanye West. Oh and look, surprise surprise, Britney is showing her poen again.
Peas: Like in the last 6 issues of heat.
3RM: You can take the girl out of Louisiana...oh look Vanessa Carreira is now hosting the Lotto on TV.
Peas: Saw her pissed at a party once.
3RM: Well that doesn't surprise me. Fuck, this shit goes in one ear and out the next.

oo0oo

3RM: I heard a rumour you're taking your toilet seat cover off.
Peas: Reverse psychology doesn't wash with me, sorry dude.
3RM: No seriously I heard you're taking it off. So us males can pee without having to hold the seat up.
Peas: Sit then. Like us females. It's awesome.
3RM: The reason I love being a man is that I can stand up when I pee. You guys have triple orgasms, we stand when we pee. There you go. Now take it off.

[pause]

Peas: We just missed two seconds of Grey's Anatomy because of that. What happened?
3RM: I've switched channels. Check this out instead.
Peas: What? Are you insane?
3RM: It's my latest favourite. It's a game show about how much weight these people lose. It's called The Biggest Loser.
Peas: That is well shameful.
3RM: Depends on which side of the table you're sitting.
Peas: This is so bad.
3RM: Don't you like fat people Peas? Like, are you a fattist? Are you scared of fat people? Are you a closet fattie?

[pause]

Ooh, how those manboobs, cmmmmon.
Peas: This is pleasant. Switch it over right now, Izzie has a daughter.

26 comments:

High in Dubai said...

That's hilarious... I have accused my sister of being a fattist. I have yet to meet a friend of hers (boy or girl) who is fat.

I am not sure if it is conscious fatism or unconcious fatism - but it's weird!

thing said...

It has come up before, peas! She said something in the last season about being trailor psrkette and getting preggers at 16. YOU WEREN'T LISTENING!! Disgrace i tell you.

I don't know how you stand the wait every week to watch the damn show. It's just insane.

thing said...

*parkette that is

Peas on Toast said...

High in Dubai - your sister's definitely a fatist. But now, what happens when an ordinarily thin person eats all the pies over a long winter? Would she put her foot down? ;)

Thing - shut up, no way! How did I miss that?? I knew she lived in a trailer park but didn't know she got pregnant. As for waiting - it's the best part. My little slice of heaven every Monday. :)

High in Dubai said...

Well she has been known to make a comment under the breath... They all seem to make there way back to goal weight before it's been a problem.

Peas on Toast said...

That's hilarious.

I'm guessing she doesn't have a pound of fat on her body either?

High in Dubai said...

It actually is... I do hate being the chubby older brother..

KaB said...

Peas my girl...you're way behind no the Grey's matter...I've already watched the first five epis of Grey's 4...it's unfuckingbelievable! *sigh*

Next...

Peas on Toast said...

Dubai - chubby? psssht. Dack and eligible :)

Kab - yeah dude, but I refuse to do what you Non Delayed Gratifiers do and watch it in one swoop. I need something to get me through Monday. :)

Betenoir said...

biggest loser over gray's anatomy???? weird. who does that?

Revolving Credit said...

Did Kab just say that when it comes to grey matter, you're behind??

I think she just called you stupid?

You may have to swop Heat for Encyclopedia Britannica!

PS. Are people somewhat proud of being crowned The Biggest Loser??

A most unfortunate choice of words don't you think.
You get to shrink a few dress sizes but develope a severe loser complex...bit of a catch 22.

Peas on Toast said...

Bete - I know. It's insanity at its worst!

Rev - Dude, the poignancy of The Biggest Loser reveals that it is set in small-town America whereby the hostess of the show says, "Now Kenny...you need to shed at least ten stone before next week's game, or else you won't be the biggest loser."

It's baffling. And yet, he watches this.

Revolving Credit said...

Eat Kenny, eat.....don't be a loser!

Revolving Credit said...

Ooo...how very South Park:

They killed Kenny!
The Biggest Loser starved him to death!!!

Peas on Toast said...

So very SouthPark. Indeed, if I didn't know better, it's the real version sans animation. And sans the usual awesome humour. :)

Champagne Heathen said...

Hmmfph. 'Biggest Loser' nothing. It is all about "Wife Swap" these days. Now there is a programme to get your self-esteem soaring to extraordinary height... Hey, I might be screwed up & have issues, but I am the prototype of PERFECT when compared to the people in THAT programme!

Peas on Toast said...

Champs - I'll relay the message to him, I'm thinking it's probably classier than this Loser stuff he watches :)

I even suggested that perhaps he change his viewership to those makeover programmes if it's a self-esteem issue. :)

The Divine Miss M said...

HE CHANGED THE CHANNEL ON GREYS?! What is wrong with him? How dare he do that?! That is a complete travisity! He should be taken outside and shot.

*humphs* Change the channel on Grey's Anatomy!

Peas on Toast said...

Miss M - don't worry, he changed it back just before he endured immediate castration. :)

Revolving Credit said...

Grey's Anatomy??

Is that a science program or porn?

Peas on Toast said...

The beauty of Grey's, Rev, is that it's a bit of both :)

Jam said...

Power failure = No Grey's. At home early to catch re run. I HATE ESKOM!

Peas on Toast said...

Jam - does Eskom have any idea how pissed off people can get when they cut the power during Grey's?

It starts at 5:00 I think, it's a real little pearler this episode as well.

Jam said...

I was contemplating blowing them up last night, but then again, that would just be counter productive.

Peas on Toast said...

HAHAHAH!

Hit them where it hurts. Go big.
Go Koeberg.

:)

Nessers said...

you should get my phone which allows you to watch telly on it just in case of power failure. I too refuse to miss Grey's hehe

I even watch the re-run on Sundays