Third Roommate graced me with his presence yesterday evening. It's good to know that even though so much time has passed, and so many things have happened over the last few months, our conversations haven't changed at all:
3RM: So you got anything for me to munch on...oh wait, we're at Peas' house.
Peas: Actually I do. Biscuit?
3RM: Romantic Dreams...hmmm, is this the cheap knock-off of Romany Creams?
Peas: Yeah it's the box for blind people.
3RM: Ooh toast.
Peas: Dude, how's the way you cut your toast? Diagonally. Like my mum did when I was 5.
3RM: How do you cut yours? Just straight across, I'll bet. That's so...manly.
Peas: No, soldiers. Little Marmite soldiers.
3RM: [Reading heat magazine] Dude, another thing I'm sick of are these rapper feuds.
Guys with egos the size of small countries who bump each other through a doorway, then suddenly there's massacre.
Peas: Whose it now?
3RM: Fiddy Cent and Kanye West. Oh and look, surprise surprise, Britney is showing her poen again.
Peas: Like in the last 6 issues of heat.
3RM: You can take the girl out of Louisiana...oh look Vanessa Carreira is now hosting the Lotto on TV.
Peas: Saw her pissed at a party once.
3RM: Well that doesn't surprise me. Fuck, this shit goes in one ear and out the next.
3RM: I heard a rumour you're taking your toilet seat cover off.
Peas: Reverse psychology doesn't wash with me, sorry dude.
3RM: No seriously I heard you're taking it off. So us males can pee without having to hold the seat up.
Peas: Sit then. Like us females. It's awesome.
3RM: The reason I love being a man is that I can stand up when I pee. You guys have triple orgasms, we stand when we pee. There you go. Now take it off.
Peas: We just missed two seconds of Grey's Anatomy because of that. What happened?
3RM: I've switched channels. Check this out instead.
Peas: What? Are you insane?
3RM: It's my latest favourite. It's a game show about how much weight these people lose. It's called The Biggest Loser.
Peas: That is well shameful.
3RM: Depends on which side of the table you're sitting.
Peas: This is so bad.
3RM: Don't you like fat people Peas? Like, are you a fattist? Are you scared of fat people? Are you a closet fattie?
Ooh, how those manboobs, cmmmmon.
Peas: This is pleasant. Switch it over right now, Izzie has a daughter.