1) The air hostess says to the lady sitting next to the emergency exit, "Do you mind sitting here? Could you handle an emergency?"
Air hostess: Are you over 9 years old?
Air hostess: Sorry. it's company protocol to actually confirm.
2) You get to fall 20 metres out of the sky during turbulence, then bounce around on the tarmac a few times before coming to a stop in Durban.
3) But luckily, they'll sell you a R27 gin and tonic to calm your nerves.
4) A rugged, beard-laden 747 is there to meet me.
And yes he did talk the hind-leg off a donkey. And yes, it is great to be down in Port Edward. We quaffed a curry and a few gin and tonics at a beachside restaurant last night. And now I'm off to swim to the Transkei.
It's just across the lagoon, the Transkei.