Thursday, November 01, 2007

monster hits is so awesome

The Muso did a blogosphere colab thing a month ago right.

Anyway, inspired, I sat down and whacked on a few Monster Hits CDs shortly afterwards. And with flipping great awesome choonage like Informa, Automatic Lovah, No Limit and Mr Vain I thought I'd give my own critique of the entire collection. Very seriously of course. No tongue and cheek here.

Monster Hits is a [circa] early-90s techno compilation, started in 1991. Only South Africans who went through puberty during that time, know what it is. Most of us had our first graunch on Looking In Her Big Brown Eyes.

It's timeframe was wedged neatly between the bubblegummy synthesizers of the 80s aerobic period, and the rise of mainstream rave and house music in the mid-to late 90s. Influences are taken from both these genres, noted in the 3 000 beats per second background ensemble, laced together with synthesized electric keyboards and some rapper and/or femi-vocalist.

The Monster Hits collection peaks and troughs as each compilation was launched. I believe the classic, easily distinguishable style so known of the music, climaxed on Monster Hits 3 and 4. The music only matured and found itself during the course of Monster Hits 2, with songs like Informa, Never Let Her Slip Away and Dr Alban's Sing Hallelujah.

By Monster Hits 3, these school social regulars became popular culture anthems, with the likes of Mr Vain, You Got To Show Me Love (which is still played at the Manhattan Club between 2:00 and 3:00am – half the reason I go there) and Exterminate.

By the iconic Monster Hits 4, we were really into the swing of things. By now our braces had come off, and we'd all puked up Hunter's Gold. This is my personal favourite out of my five albums.

Then, suddenly as the 90s semi-transformed itself with other sub-cultures, things started to go downhill. Fucking Cheryl Crowe and Bump 2 were starting to dominate our boom boxes.

Monster Hits tried to bridge the gap, with less synthesizers and the beats dropped dramatically to only 1 000 per second, which was its first mistake. Don't fix something if it ain't broke. By the time Monster Hits 7 hit the shelves, we were forced to listen to Scatman's World and The Macarena. These two songs, I believe, were the final nail in the coffin.

Monster Hits 9 was the last one I ever bought, with the Trainspotting soundtrack on it. It's time in the limelight was over, 90s techno was dead.

Except, unlike my friends, I kept every one of my albums. I was a real fan, see. They're collector's items. One can't buy them on eBay even if they sold their ovaries. And I have the originals.

I am so cool.

30 comments:

High in Dubai said...

Damn girl, I used to know Informa off by heart (I didn't actually know what I was saying but I could repeat it, as if I did)!

Those were magical times!

Peas on Toast said...

dubai - magic times, weren't they? Well the magic continues my china my boychie, because I haven't sopped listening since. Pure unadulterated sound.

Yeah and if anyone knows the real words to Informa, please send them my way!

:)

3rm said...

i think this might be an attempt to legitimise what is possibly a psychological issue manifesting itself in an obsession with old, bad music. the first step to solving the problem is admitting that you have one. come on dude, for all our sakes

Peas on Toast said...

3rm - I'm in denial. And anyways, even if I did say I had a problem, it doesn't mean I'd stop listening china.

You should come round for a festive evening of Monster Hits and box wine, dude. They're fantastic!

:)

PS: That would be the day.

3rm said...

3rm - sounds like a good idea. i'll just have to have a bottle or two of vodka to dull the excruciating pain

3rm said...

still, better monster hits than mikey b

Peas on Toast said...

Dude did you just publicly diss Michael How Am I Suppose To Live Without You Bolton?

Say it isn't so.

Show the guy a little Time, Love & Tenderness. I know you wanna.

3rm said...

you crossed a line there dude. mikey b is blight on humanity whose effect has been more devestating than typhoid, the spanish inquisition and hitler combined.

Peas on Toast said...

3rm - you love it.

More than caviar, Portuguese espetada and three litre turbo engines.

kyknoord said...

Ah, so many things jumps into sharp focus now.

3rm said...

peas - right you are.

even more than root canal, kidney stones and prostate examinations

Peas on Toast said...

Kyk - only now?
;)

Peas on Toast said...

3RM - and even more than free booze, the finest skunk and hot ladies with big breasts.
:)

Anonymous said...

Whats up man! hey yo whats up!
Yeah whats goin on here.
Sick an tired of five-oh runnin up on the block here.
You know what Im sayin?
Yo snow, they came around here lookin for you the other day.
Word? word! bust it!

Chorus
Informer, you no say daddy me snow me Ill go blame,
A licky boom boom down.
Detective mon said daddy me snow me stab someone down the lane,
A licky boom boom down.
Informer, you no say daddy me snow me Ill go blame,
A licky boom boom down.
Detective mon said daddy me snow me stab someone down the lane,
A licky boom boom down.

Police them come an now they blow down me door,
One him come crawl through, through my window,
So then they put me in the back the car at the station,
From that point on me reach my destination,
When the destination reached, it was the east detention, where them
Whipped down me pants, looked up me bottom, so

Chorus

Bigger they are they think they have more power,
Theyre on the phone me say that on (every) hour,
Me for want to use it once an now me call me lover,
Lover who Ill be callin is the one tammy,
An me love her in me heart down to my belly,
Yes me daddy me snow me I feel cool an deadly,
As the one mc shan an the one daddy snow,
Together we-a loveem as a tor-na-do.

Chorus

Listen for me, you better listen for me now.
Listen for me, you better listen for me now.
When me rockin the microphone me rock it steady,
Yes sir, daddy me snow me are the article done.
But in the in an the out of a dance them they say where you come from,
People them say you come from jamaica,
But me born an raised in the ghetto thats the one I want you to know,
Pure black people mon thats all I mon know.
Yeah me shoes are tear up an me toes used to show,
Where me born in on the one toronto, so

Chorus

Come with a nice young lady. intelligent,
Yes shes gentle an irie.
Everywhere me go, me never left her at all.
Yes, its daddy snow me are the roam dance mon.
Roam between a dancin in a in a nation-a.
You never know say daddy me snow me are the boom shakata.
Me never lay-a down flat in that one cardboard box.
Yes say me daddy me snow me Ill go reachin at the top, so...

Chorus

Why would he?

Me sittin round cool with my dibbie dibbie girl,
Police knock my door,
Lick up my pal,
Rough me up an I cant do a thing
Pick up my line, when my telephone ring.
Take me to the station,
Black up my hands.
Trail me down, cuz Im hangin with the snowman,
What Im gonna do,
Im backed an Im trapped,
Slap me in the face an took all o my gap.
They have no clues an they wanna get warmer,
But shan wont turn informer!

Peas on Toast said...

Oh man. Oh man that is beautiful.

Just beautiful.

Anonymous, whoever you are, wherever you are, you've just made my week.

fuzzy logic said...

Ooh I'm so jealous! Someone stole my Monster Hits 2 tape (tape!) at a party in Std 5 - I still miss it to this day *sniff*

The Divine Miss M said...

I love that song ... I used to actually know the lyrics but now my memory is failing me :(

Peas, you definitely are ever so very cool :)

Peas on Toast said...

fuzzy - I feel your pain. I originally bought the tape and my hamster chewed it one fateful evening. Poor 747...all his MH tapes are in the location outside of Grahamstown somewhere. Who steals Monster Hits tapes?

Miss M - you knew the lyrics? That's brilliant, and no, that is way cooler, dude, way cooler :)

The Divine Miss M said...

Naah peas, I have this strange memory for song lyrics, I think it is the music. I can remember lyrics so easily even after the first or second time of hearing them. It drives my housemate nuts because I just constantly sing and my voice ain't so good ;)

It was useful in school because I just made up songs for my history learning and I'd remember soooo easily!

Peas on Toast said...

Miss M - niiiice! So it's never "Informa...um, blah blah blah blah...a licky boom boom yeah..." :)

I have a challenge for you. On the right hand side of this page, you'll see a post I wrote entitled "German Rapgeist." I made a german rap song up. It makes no sense, and although I had big dreams of becoming a star, it never quite took off. The challenge is: can you remember all the words?
he he he :)

Vimbai said...

Tsk tsk, girl you are showing not only your age, but mine as well.

Now i have phrases like "ah-lalala-long, ah-lalala-long-longly-long" and "push-it, push-it, some more" swimming around in my head.

Question: YOu know how our parents generation had such decent sounding lyrics to the music they listened to.

What's gonna happen a few years from now when you are driving ur sprog to school and you start playing one of your "oldies" tracks and its blurting out words like, "Ah push it, push it real good" or "Don't want no short-dick man"....mmmmmh

Peas on Toast said...

vimbai - christ, I suddenly feel very old. :(

But yes, we were discussing this the other day. I'm going to make it my mission, should I ever spawn offspring, that when I drop them off at school, my speakers will be reverberating with "I know what I want, and I want it now, I want you, cos I'm Mr Vain."

And it will be right in front of the school gates so everyone can hear it.

The poor sods will be very embarrassed. But I'd to stop tradition. My father used to do this to me with his Kenny G albums.

The Divine Miss M said...

Interesting Peas ... Well without actually hearing the music I have no chance of memorising it, I need the tune man!

Send me a sound file and I'll play it around the office in a bid to remember it .. Plus you never know, Simon Cowell from The XFactor could be wondering around ... :P

I am slightly peturbed about your German though ...

Peas on Toast said...

Yeah it's a self-bastardized version of Germanic persuasion. Which I was hoping would be so trendy, people would start using it as cool words and would become re rigueur in slang dictionaries.

Sony BMG didn't seem to think so though. Although, to their credit, they did write back and actually say "we really don't think so, but thanks."

Brandon said...

With Monster Hits 9, 90's techno was dead?

That's hilarious, but I hope it was in jest.

Maybe 90's Cheese died a deserved and hopefully painful death, but techno was just getting started.

Peas on Toast said...

Brandon - well yes and no. Monster Hits 9 came out in 1999/2000. And I hear it's actually still going strong, with Monster Hits 24 or something ridiculous on the shelves now. But it's not what it used to be - Now 78 is more in line with what MH used to be.

But hell, I can only speak for the first nine albums :)

Katie Possum said...

soooo funny, soooo identifying with you! do your mates at least share your passion?

My friends have virtually given up trying to break the hold the 80's music has over me.

Peas on Toast said...

Kate - Sadly to say my dear, my old mates only share the passion with me on a very fickle basis. When they are drunk, and need something to bounce around to.

Me, I'm a fan drunk or sober :)

Dari Dawg said...

FYI, miss: Moster Hits was not launched in 1991. I have a Monster Hits from 1982, which incidently was the year this pup was born. And no, CDs were not invented yet - that's right, Monster Hits Vol 1 in VINYL!!! It's worth a good couple Ront I'm told...

I'm too lazy to see what songs it actually has, but I would imagine something like Depeche Mode and Duran Duran or something.

james said...

I not know how old this post is.. but please please can u forward me the tracklisting of the first 4 monster hits.. like u i had the orignals.. cassettes.. lol.. hell i even had a bootleg pirate version of monster hits 1 i got from the flea market on muizenberg beach lol..