my meal

I made myself the most awesome dinner last night. I thought, hell, it's Thursday, and the plan was to craft something scrumptious and from scratch anyway, so might as well do it.

I did my Saumon a la Va Va Voom. The same dish I had to make for The Ant after the Italians won the World Cup soccer. Much to my vexation, merde.

Trick is to buy a great big hunk of fresh (not frozen) pink, Norwegian salmon. Preferably from a fish market and not the Pick 'n Pay deli counter. But who's counting, so I picked a whopper of a salmon guy from the supermarket and took it home.

Everything should be fresh. And slowly savoured, as you manifest a meal so incredibly delicious and overwhelming, you pretty much orgasm on the first bite.

Thereafter, crush fresh dill, and garlic. Ladle the garlic on, it's just not complete without garlic of Provence-sized proportions. Whack it in the pan. Sear it for not more than a minute. You don't want the inside of the salmon to be all dry and flavourless, the whole thing with salmon is it's ability to retain a texture of the softest snowflakes.

You want the flakes to melt on your tongue, and gently peel away in a rear-to-medium-rare fashion. It's the crumbling, dissolving flakes what we're going for here.

Sear it on the other side for like 30 seconds. Add mushrooms and sliced courgettes. The courgettes must be sliced longitudinally, very thinly, so that they're all soft and dainty and tasty-like. That's the only way courgettes should ever be chopped. This chunky courgette vibe isn't great. Throw in another ladle of garlic. Don't be shy, this is a French dish. Season everything. When the mushrooms and courgette have nicely conglomerated, take off the heat.

You should've been making mash potato during this time. My bad. But make sure the potatoes are cooked to oblivion, add a teaspoon of bicarb to make it all fluffy and white, and then a tablespoon of butter and a splash of milk. Add salt.

Gently retrieve the wedge of delicately cooked salmon from the pan, and ever so carefully – because this thing is like digestible gold – place on top of the mashed potato stack. Take mushroom-courgette stuff and place on the side. This should add colour and added flavour. Top everything with a drizzle of olive oil and maybe some fresh dill or parsley.

Set table. Light candle, put on Lakme's The Flower Duet or Pavarotti's Nessun Dorma, or even Dante's La Vita Nuova, pour yourself a glass of dry white wine. Preferably not Crackling, but something palatable yet fairly inexpensive, like Durbanville Hills' Sauvignon Blanc.

Sit. Eat. Be happy.

PS: Tonight I'm meeting 747's folks for the first time. I get performance anxiety in front of parents. Like nervous and stuff. Please may I remember to take the red furry handcuffs off my car keys. Please. Not like that one time when Big T's mother saw them and thought I was an escort lady.