Tuesday, December 18, 2007

end of year bang

Hosted a Ho Ho Ho XXXmas Party on Saturday.

Felt it was my time, haven't hosted a Christmas Party, or a porno one at least, for a long long while.

It was sensational. Was good to see not everyone has gone on holiday, for one. The girl's came as Santa's Little Slappers; and the boys as Santa's Little Manwhores.

One dude's Santa hat had an erection all evening.

Ant and The Gilb came through from the Poenda – and Gilb suitably dressed like Hugh Hefner in a paisley dressing gown. He belted out the Bee Gee's Stayin' Alive with such aplomb, I thought I was going to wee in my pants.

Mr 747 wore green polyshorts and the Hawaiian shirt special – and was even more special when he pulled the ring out of Celine Dion's Immortality. Holy Jesus. The man then did a little dance during the instrumental part and a few one armed push ups. Hates a microphone, and put on quite a show. That's my boy.

Then Moogs, Big T and Dick dressed up like the Three Wise Dirty Old Men in pink terry cloth robes from AC Kermans. That was effort, bless.

Just as it was my turn to lyrically screech, two amazing things happened. (O Holy Night – the Southpark/Mariah Carey version):

1)We were privvy to a live porn show by two very buxom and sexy guests who had the whole room a-gaping, and not listening to my song. Oblivious to me, eyes closed and belting out my song, the two did their thing on the floor in front of me. (One was wearing a pleather suit, that just covered her poen. Amazing. I want one.) Pity I missed it though: I really thought all the cheers were about my song, and Mr 747 gently broke it to me that it really really wasn't about my song at all...

2)The Parktown Prawn that terrorised me and Martha Stewart a month ago decided to suddenly come out of hiding and crawl across the karaoke floor. There was a lot of screeching and dispersing. The one Brit that attended the party was the person to actually pick it up and take it outside with his bare hands. The Pom. Everyone else abandoned mic, and ran away screaming. Even the boys.

Third Roommate dressed up as Santa's Little Ladyboy. I was well impressed. He stuffed socks into a bra and had a nice pair of noombies on him, wore dangly earrings and lipstick. He was well pretty.

Besides the lesbo-fantasy entertainment, we also had a mate pull through who has an exceptional voice. Not just karaoke-exceptional, but “sing another song, you're a nightingale!” exceptional.

We sang until 2:00am. The neighbours must be loving me so much right now.
Basically, it was well steamy. And a bit minging the next day – you know house a-shambles – but it was nice to see people I haven't seen in a while too.
Ho ho ho.

PS: Perhaps post-party detox or somefink, but last night I woke up to the most mindfuckingly painful migraine and it hasn't stopped, even this morning. It's this localised pain enveloping my skull. And if I move my head too quickly, it will explode. Ouch.


kyknoord said...

Snap. I also had a rather painful conclusion to my weekend.

Peas on Toast said...

Oh no Kyk, what happened? (Will check out your blog now in any case :)

KaB said...

Bloody hell...come host a party in the cape...we need some entertainment like that!

Piss: I was scared all weekend chick thanks to post down below! Eish...haiwenna!

Peas on Toast said...

Kab - I'll tell our little entertainers to show you their stuff when they next in the Mother City - I had some serious hands-on entertainers here, so I give them all the credit! :)

As for the scary stuff - I was hunting down a scary movie this weekend with no luck from my counterparts - nobody wanted to watch one with me! :(

Revolving Credit said...

Peazle, I'm impressed!
Apparently your singing makes people horny.

You start making recordings and I'm start sending out PEAGRA spam emails - just send $5 and we'll send you a stimulating recording.

Kyk: Snap?? WTF?? Did you break your penis???

Revolving Credit said...

Kyk: Sorry, previous comment retracted.
Just read your post. My Bad :(

Peas on Toast said...

Revvie - ha ha. It was during the chorus of "Fall on your knees...and hear the angels voices" that got 'em started :)!

OK everyone, group hug for Kyk. He's nurturing a wounded heart today, and because this has been the ultimate break-up blog in the past, I'd like to say that I feel for you terribly Kykie. And am thinking of you lots.
Lots of group hugs and hair strokings!

Revolving Credit said...

Hair strokings??

Peas, I'm not sure how you playing with yourself is supposed to console Kyk, but I must admit, it is a novel approach...are you sending him the vidoe clip??


Peas on Toast said...

Rev - ag, I've found in my experience when men are feeling under the weather, a hair stroking helps. Well it works for 747 anyway, bless his heart.

Which YouTube clip?

Revolving Credit said...

How are you going to send Kyk the clip of you playing with yourself?

Email, Superwall or Youtube?

Peas on Toast said...

I don't paste YouTube videos of myself playing with myself, sorry Rev. Also it's probably the last thing Kyk would want to see right now.

Perhaps email him a picture of some of the pics you have in your blog archives :)

SheBee said...

Oh I am *So* chuffed you are working this week too!

woohoo for us losers who gots no leave, yo.

Kyk - sorry about your heart crack my love. Hope it mends soon.

Rev - har har, thanks for the giggles.

Superwall your self loving and happiness by the body, Peas. COme on! Be a sport. I bet it will make the boys day.

Peas on Toast said...

Sheebs, tempting but no. I haven't even put my face onto this blog before...I think I prefer it that way :)

And yay for us still operating our evil empires hey. Arrrg, while all my friends head off to beachy locations :(

SheBee said...

Dude consol yourself loike vis:

all those dipshits who are holidaying by die sea, are sitting in a mall right now coz the weather is kak.

*evil laugh*

I have no mercy.

Peas on Toast said...

he he he, that fills me with evil glee!

Or sort of anyway. ;)

SheBee said...

rather good.