Another crazy-as-fuck year, which I could write down in detail and bore the bejesus out of you, but consider it your lucky day, jo. I will only impart five of the most significant 2007 things. They were heavy:
1) Two relationships.The first ending in March (sidenote: A relatively untraumatic, friends-at-the end, friends-before-hooking-up, break up.) And the other relationship currently going on 6 months. Am still ever-enlightened by, am loving and am fascinated with my Boeing 747.
2) Three full-time jobs: This was the shakiest, yet boldest-career-move-year of my life, ever. Ended my job at the food magazine, and started a business: Wibble. The business is now part-time as I have become editor of two online urban magazines.
3)A lot of people suddenly got engaged this year. One domino dropped (Could've been my longterm ex come to think of it), but many couples got that wedding feeling this year. Times are a-changing.
4)I rode the Argus. My gears broke on Smitswinkel, not even halfway and I managed to finish it in 4 hours 40 minutes by some miracle of God.
5) Speaking of God, this year I [involuntarily] became agnostic. I didn't wake up and go, “Hey, I think I'll be agnostic today,” it happened slowly but very surely as the months rolled on. My Catholic grandmother isn't over the moon, but that's the way the cookie crumbles. There were a number of reasons towards this sentiment, but in a nutshell, I just became dramatically scientific and severe in my approach towards religion. Although briefly dabbling in atheism, I'm really agnostic. I believe in paranormal activity, see.
Right, enough of that nostalgic been-done-before-it's-the-end-of-the-year shite. Here is my Collective 2007 Memorabilia
My 2007 shoes (Forget frilly thing adjacent to...it was just for show):
My favourite birthday card (from Klo):
My favourite 2007 feel-good comedy: (Catherine Tate)
My favourite accessory: (My fake engagement ring from Big T – moonstone set in solid silver)
My 2007 cannot-live-without: (My MacBook)
My favourite 2007 holiday read: (From 747, and read cover to cover in the Indian Ocean eaves of the Seychelles....like a million years ago)
My favourite birthday presents: (This phenomenal perspex desk chair from Ant. Although the Kath & Kim series from Doc and my camera from Mum are both seriously worthy of honourable mention)
My favourite 2007 foodstuff: (Smoked salmon, yadda yadda yadda. But if I'm gonna be honest - I eat more Marmite than the collective noun's worth of the most collective noun's in the world of Marmite eaters. Bovril eaters: Suck on my non-existent balls)
My most itchy underwear of 2007: (Cue public art gallery scratching in front of security camera)
My favourite 2007 Christmas story:
There's this bird called Mary, yeah?
She's a virgin (wossat then?)
She's not married or nuffink, but she's got this boyfriend, Joe, innit?
He does joinery an' that. Mary lives with him in a crib dahn Nazaref.
One day Mary meets this bloke Gabriel. She's like 'Oo ya lookin at?'
Gabriel just goes 'You got one up the duff, you have.'
Mary's totally gobsmacked. She gives it to him large 'Stop dissin' me yeah?'
I ain't no Kappa-slapper. I never bin wiv no one!'
So Mary goes and sees her cousin Liz, who's six months gone herself.
Liz is largin' it. She's filled with spirits, Barcardi Breezers an' that.
She's like 'Orright, Mary, I can feel me bay-bee in me tummy and I reckon I'm well blessed.
Fink of all the extra benefits an' that we are gonna get.'
Mary goes 'Yeah, s'pose you're right'
Mary an' Joe ain't got no money so they have to ponse a donkey, an' go dahn Bethlehem on that. They get to this pub an' Mary wants to stop, yeah? To have her bay-bee an' that.
But there ain't no room at the inn, innit?
So Mary an' Joe break an' enter into this garridge, only its filled wiv animals. Cahs an' sheep an' that. Then these three geezers turn up, looking proper bling, wiv crowns on their heads.
They're like 'Respect, bay-bee Jesus', an' say they're wise men from the East End .
Joe goes: 'If you're so wise, wotchoo doin' wiv this Frankenstein an' myrrh? Why dincha just bring gold, Adidas and Burberry?'
It's all about to kick off when Gabriel turns up again an' sez he's got another message from this Lord geezer.
He's like 'The police is comin an' they're killin all the bay-bees. You better nash off to Egypt.'
Joe goes 'You must be monged it you think I'm goin' dahn Egypt on a minging donkey'
Gabriel sez 'Suit yerself, pal. But it's your look out if you stay.'
So they go dahn Egypt till they've stopped killin the first-born an' it's safe an' that.
Then Joe and Mary and Jesus go back to Nazaref, an' Jesus turns water into Stella.
Happy New Year and festive (or just agnostic?) seasons to all yer mingers. All hail ye 2008.
* Unless I win the lottery or something, and then I'd just have to tell you.