Thursday, December 13, 2007

you're so main, you probably think this is about you


Face pawing continues. Ad infinitum.

I'd like to talk about cool. Or buying into it, rather.
It's really, really starting to fuck me off.

I just discovered dubstep. Just finding out what it's all about now, apparently makes me over-the-top pathetically non-underground.
Don't fucking mock me because I haven't been slothing off at some underground party in a dark basement high on crack in some obscure part of the world. I love this “new” music genre, it's opened up a whole new world of music for me, and yet, I was told that I'm [gasp] square.
Fuck, maybe I just do really really need a holiday.
People buy into this underground of cool. The ironic thing is buying into it makes you a commercial freak, innit? Maybe, maybe just maybe I DON'T CARE TO BUY INTO ALL YOUR STUPID COOL SHIT. There was a time when I flirted with the idea, back in my youth, but now only if I dig it, I do it.

Can I make a list of the ultra-urbany-cool-commercialised-by-product crap that has been irritating me lately?

1)Cape Town. People who buy into “Long Street.” It used to be nice, actually.

2)The latest cover of SL magazine. It smacks niche cool. Kids who shop at Mr Price surely shouldn't pick it the fuck up? It's meant to be a student magazine aimed at the masses of intellectuals who study at various institutions. Hence Student Life. Half the shit it propogates falls into higher LSM category, not Koo-beans-on-toast for three days category.

3)Your hairstyle. You dye your hair eight shades of electric blue, it looks like it was cut with a weedwhacker.

4)You wear high tops. What a fucking legend.

5)You're the kind of person who scoffs at hip hop, but when you go to a hip hop party, you'll drink all the free booze.

6)You go out of your way to buy into sub-cultures, and look down on people who don't mind being "mainstream."

7)Lemme guess: you don't eat MacBurgers or a KFC Streetwise Two. You eat Kauai because you wanna be seen ordering the wheatgrass juice.

Generally, it's this...attitude. I have conservative long brown hair, I wear high heels not hightops, I have a pair of jeans from Mr Price, I accessorise minimally, I listen to all types of music, I go to dives and I go to pretentious places, why make me feel bad about this?
I also don't fucking hang off an aeroplane banner that says, “Everyone is a wanker except me because I am so fucking cool.”

Good example: some of the hippie wannabe journos I studied with in Cape Town. Some okes wore dresses to lectures, that sort of stuff. Shock value, and try hards - We're so, like arty, so we'd better make sure people know this. We need to, like, over-express ourselves, because we go to pottery on Thursdays and paint landscapes on canvas on Mondays...and then play guitar on the mountain and eat, like, shwarmas together.


Real artists don't need to overdo it. Some of the most talented people I know don't buy into this vibe, just like the genuine dark horses don't have to dress Goth all day long.

Right. I'm off to buy the You magazine.

37 comments:

Leigh Anne said...

Hmmm... Interesting.

Found myself nodding along to most of what you said.

What's your take on the "emo" thing?

Peas on Toast said...

Leigh-Anne - Emo, like other "sub-cultures" (although again, pretty mainstream these days), has that "exclusive know-it-all authority club" status to it, and I don't know enough to make comment. Except of course, on the above. :)

High in Dubai said...

Agreed, Agreed, Agreed!

I can't stand the fact that if you are not totally involved in some type of subculture you are square... Even though each time a sub culture turns pop, you find the same people running around for the next thing, where is the commitment?

Peas on Toast said...

Dubai - exactly, and very valid point! The moment something changes and more people jump onto the bandwagon, just to be different, they'll run to the next thing.

It's all about being otherwise. And sometimes it's tough to keep up.

High in Dubai said...

It is tough to keep up... Also, like I love numerous types of music and fashion - but it's hard enough keeping up with what's already out there. Throw in a new thing and it's like do I have to leave my job to be on top of this crap!

It's all superficial though... Searching for individuality by joining a group!

My new thing is, I am pop - suck on it!

thing said...

The only subculture brooding in Long Street is the flourishing Nigerian drug lords. So hopefully you don't know too many people bragging about that place.

ps excuse that weird concord, it's early

Peas on Toast said...

Dubai - I love that, you're definitely pop - pop is the new dubstep, did you hear? ;)

Yeah I guess I'm just through with trying to prove something to the world. If I dig, I do. And not just because my "sub-culture" dictates so.

thing - oh people are bragging, they're bragging about the street more than ever before. I liked it five years ago. When it wasn't inundated with fancy, pretentious clubs, and was just cool as it was.

pinle said...

I wear whatever I like, listen to ANYTHING I want to and go to places where I want to be BUT...
I DO get intimidated by these so called 'cool people'! I love myself and my life! I can't explain this feeling of inadequecy and uncoolness around these people!! HELP!!

Peas on Toast said...

pinle - rest easy, I'm with you. I can't hel;ping super square, super retarded and super mainstream around these people too. And it's starting to piss me off. It is intimidating, and I HATE feeling intimidated - it doesn't bode well with me.

Which is why I tend to shy away from these folks as much as possible.

kyknoord said...

It's not very efficient, is it? I mean, you don't have to actually do the whole sub-culture thing to view the rest of the world with disdain and you certainly don't need to be on the leading edge of pop-culture to be a curmudgeon.

Peas on Toast said...

Kyk - yeah, and that's the perfect word: disdain. Maybe us quasi-mainstreamers view the world with even more of that.

Dubai - PS: I dreamt I was living in Dubai last night. It was cool...and deserty. :)

Johnny Quarterback said...

I like the way you started the post with 'Fuck' and ended it with 'You'. Maybe there's some kind of underground sub-culture to your writing....

Peas on Toast said...

JQ - well howzit! Well spotted. My sub-culture of personal proportions even sidestepped me.

Maybe I'm subconsciously buying into sub-culture. Say it isn't so. :)

Betenoir said...

dude. cool is totally overrated. I'm a geek and proud, although Incredibly poised and fashionable. But still.

Peas on Toast said...

Bete - apparently cool is the new black, and geek is the new cool, so either way you're a walking win-win situation. :)

Ruby said...

peasy....that was a brilliant post. I think it hit a chord with so many of us because we're tired of being judged for being us.
Me for instance......sometimes I like fashion, sometimes I dont, I have a very odd taste in music....but screw anyone who doesn't like what i listen to.....and yes, sometimes i even listen to super commercial stuff like Cascada when I need an emotional lift and I'm ready for a party.
You go peasy!!!!

High in Dubai said...

Peas, best you get you @ss over for a visit... Think you should spend more time on a 777, with 747 and drop in with Heddles and I. Promise we can listen to the most non-underground shizzz while we parteee out here!

Peas on Toast said...

Thanks Ruby - I think that's it, the judgment. So, so true. I read somewhere (and consequently believe it...cos it's true) that South Africans are the most judgmental race. I wonder if I lived in Germany and didn't subscribe to certain sub-culture I'd be judged. It would be interesting to see.

Dubai - I'd love to that, so much! I've spent 6 hours in the airport, sitting up against one of those plastic palm trees...and that's it, sadly.

ClayOne said...

Wheatgrass lol had a shot of that a few years ago,nastiest tasting stuff ever.

Peas on Toast said...

ClayOne - ..looks very pretty in a pot though, eh? ;)

ClayOne said...

Grass has no business as a beverage and thats it!

Oh,nice blog by the way,im new here.

Peas on Toast said...

ClayOne - thanks dude, and welcome!

Yeah grass should either be grown or smoked. Not consumed as a liquid.

Revolving Credit said...

Maybe you should subscribe to the nudist sub-culture.

At least you won't have to spend wads of cash on the latest fashion, accessories or gadgets.

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - I like fashion and gadgets though. I think I'll subscribe to the Anti-Sub Culture sub culture. Whatcha reckon?

SheBee said...

I love your slang, I really do.

"Main". Just throw "Minger" in there and you'd sound like my brothers.

lol

Peas on Toast said...

Even better SheBee - "it's well minging."

:)

KaB said...

Haiwenna chikita!

I so agree with #1...holly shit...that place sucks balls yo! It's only cool when you're 16-18 & breaking out of school! Move along you little fuckwits! Or better...stay put...we don't want you around!

#3 - the cookie monster...haha!

I must agree...I like to just dibble dabble in everything...who says you have to 'belong'...why not sneak a picking from each & call yourself 'you'!

I schmaak it stukkend hey!

Peas on Toast said...

Kab - absolutely. It's almost a narrow minded approach to life. I appreciate that some people live for certain sub cultures, fine. BUT, LOOKING DOWN ON OTHERS WHO DON'T really really fucks me off.

And they tend to do this, I would find. At least in my experience.

boldly benny said...

Oh Peas I love this, my sister and I have often had a gripe about die hard sub-culturists that look down their noses at you if you haven't heard of or know of the right designer/artist/musician/etc.
I used to feel like I had to wear too many different hats for too many different people. Now, I couldn't give a shit and actually love my tabloid-reading/red toe-nailed/don't-listen-to-underground-music/bring-on-the-zesty-white self.
In fact, I love to act dumb now. Like the time I asked my brother-in-law's younger sister if emo music included Rick Astley because then I was a bit fan!
PS LOVE the reference to YOU - don't forget People ;-)

Peas on Toast said...

Classic Benny - "if emo included Rick Astley".

If Rick was an angst-ridden low-slung jean pant wearing oke, then perhaps.

Beautiful! :)

Inyoka said...

Me, I buy into the Grumpy old Man subculture.

After 35 years of bring ripped off by the tax man, banks, insurance companies, employers and politicians, I've earned the right.

We hate everything and everyone except real ale and generous landlords. ~:-)

Inyoka said...

And banks, don't forget the banks.

noodle said...

I'm so never on the bandwagon. Average is good. Square is the new black.

Peas on Toast said...

Inyoka - I love the grumpy old man sub-culture - can I join? ;)

Noodle - as they say, it really IS hip to be square :)

Anonymous said...

Forgive me - but that old lady bears a striking resemblance to Vincent Maher - HA!

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