Wednesday, December 12, 2007

save water; ride a cowboy

Third Roommate and I have a deal. He can come over and be Joey Tribbiani at any time, because although he's essentially annoying, peel away the layers and he's a real little softie. He's allowed to come over, whack his feet up onto the coffee table, control the remote, and demand dinner, if he brings me presents.

Ah ha! I'm so klever. I asked for flowers, and oh yes, he bought us flowers for the flat.

Next week, I want a Cartier watch.

Third Roommate: Dude, it's ok, you don't need to make me tea.
Peas: What? Usually you always demand tea.
3RM: Nah, I never really got over that one time you made me tea from your hot water bottle.
Peas: What?
3RM: Yeah dude. It was like gnawing on a piece of basketball. It was well rough.
Peas: Oh go on.
3RM: You were probably pissed, who knows, but you poured the contents of your hot water bottle into the kettle, boiled it and made me a cuppa tea.
Peas: No ways, I did that?
3RM: Quite. It was a hot water bottle lying around from the winter months and it was summer.
Peas: I infused your tea with rubber water.
3RM: You were probably purposefully trying to poison me, sure, I understand, but you actually boiled me some Earl Grey with hot water bottle water.
It was completely overpowering.
Peas: That is awesome.
3RM: Really? You don't remember?
Peas: No. But sometimes I love me.
3RM: You make rubber water tea, dude.
Peas: God, I'm amazing.

PS: Martha Stewart, a social worker by profession says I can paw at my face during this stressful time – and I've been pawing away a lot lately – in moments of frenzy and when I need to go to my happy place – she says it's fine as long as my pawing doesn't get out of control and affect my work and life. Only then it's a disorder and I need a straight jacket. So I must be aaaight then.
PPS: Or not. Ref above.


Tam said...

That's awesome - never need to make him tea again!

I make tea for my in-laws when we visit them. They rate my tea making ability from 1-10. I started at a 2/10 moved up to an average of 8/10 once had a 10/10... I realise now they think of me as Tammy the Tea lady and they are British so their tea consumption is formidable.
I think I know what to do now... won't be weird to visit them mid-summer with a hottie under my arm. huh?

Peas on Toast said...

Tam - those English formidable tea drinkers. I definitely say use the hottie water, and if all else fails, scoop the water up from the toilet cistern. That should do the trick :)

SheBee said...

Am dead. Laughing my head off at that bloody dog on the couch.

You're a nutjob.

Betenoir said...

not just rubber water tea, but bloody Earl Grey rubber water tea! You're like some sort of demented genius. You're missing your calling. You should b e fomenting evil world domination plans. Or building a robot. or a man made of spare bits from dead bodies.

Peas on Toast said...

SheBee - great danes should rule the world. I'd bet they'd hand out food parcels too.

Bete - I was considering your idea for world domination and building of lethal talking rubber tea-making robots until I read the bits about body parts. I like your style, but I think my neighbours would complain.

Insane Insomniac said...

Think if I use it on customers they'll stop asking for tea???
It is a pub for crying out loud.

Makes me miss my 'Tribbiani' friends.

Peas on Toast said...

Insane - Well you could always infuse their Eral with hottie water for fun. Especially if you've had a bad day. Should cheer you up, when they spit the tea back up through their noses.

And yeah, it's a pub, they really shouldn't be ordering tea. ;)

charmskool said...

Peas you are a genius! I laughed so hard my coffee came out my nose!Made with tap water..... I think?

Ruby said... made me miss my joey! I once made him coffee with salt instead of sugar....not on purpose tho...i was just having a really bad day. Now he insists on making the tea/coffee whenever he comes over....sorted!

Peas on Toast said...

charmskool - out your nose huh? Yummy!
Thanks guy :)

Ruby - see, it's not like we've got malicious intent. It's not like we purposefully tried to poison them. But, for all future vistors concerned, they'd better watch their backs. Accidents happen. ;)

I'm glad you okes think rubber tea is K for Klever...but I thought I was a genius in the bartering dinner for presents scenario. You know, I make him dinner and he brings me presents. You guys should try it! :)

Revolving Credit said...

Well, recycling is always good.

If you have a few people over, you can always drop a few teabags in the footspa after giving the feet a bit of a treatment.

This obviously opens up a whole new spectrum of flavoured teas!

Peas on Toast said...

Hell yeah! I'm just doing my bit for the environment see. Water is a precious resource.

And I certainly wasn't going to give it to Chad.

Revolving Credit said...

Why, doesn't Chad like Earl Grey?
Is he more of a tequila rat?

Peas on Toast said...

He's into Cosmopolitans, but will suffer through a martini when he's busy being James Bond.

Chester Pillow said...

"He's Allowed to Come Over" ...geez likes!

Peas on Toast said...

Eeew Ches! This guy is more familial than a brother! Shame on you. :)

Chester Pillow said...

Nothing like some 'load shedding!'

Peas on Toast said...

...speaking of which, how bloody INCONVENIENT is this whole let's-just-turn-off-the-lights vibe at Eskom?

Pants. Pure pants.