Friday, January 25, 2008

The cop who did nothing

I know. That statement sweeps away even me.

Third Roommate came over for dinner last night. He was immensely frustrated with the state of the old car he had to drive (the intake manifold pressure sensor in his car is in for replacement. Yes that's a real car component.)

The jalopy he's driving now has no seat belts, the brakes are shot, and half the bumper is missing. It's also raining cats and dogs at the moment, so it's an especially hair raising ride. It's, frankly, unsafe.
Anyway. He walks in and recounted his morning:

“I got up early and hit MacDonalds for a MacMuffin for breakfast. Saw two cops standing on Grayston Drive, just somma on the side of the road. The lights were out at the intersection about 200m up the road [Loadshedding is the new black – Ed]. So I parked the busted up tin can I was driving car and said to them:

3RM: “What's happening guys how's it going. The traffic lights on Grayston and 11th are out, was wondering if you could send some of your guys there to clear up the jam.”

“No.”

3RM: “No? Oh so you just going to stand here and do nothing?”

“What do you mean.”

3RM: “[Repeats himself]”

“[Cop repeats himself].

3RM: “What are you doing right now?”

“I'm standing here.”

Goes into MacD's, claims his MacMuffin, and then climbs into the busted up unroadworthy tin can, and by now the cops are giving him the Death By Hairy Eyeball, so he says:

3RM: “I'm not scared of you.”

“What do you mean.” (Again. Are we seeing a pattern here?)

3RM: “[Repeats himself]”

“What you do you mean scared...who is scared?”

Then 3RM cracked and left. Realising that the mentality of our police service, cannot be argued with.

PS: So I might take up most of the bed, sometimes, but that doesn't mean you have to SLEEP ON ME. Woke up, crushed. 747 was sleeping on top of me, like I'm this little bump. He says he was just leaning over to switch off the alarm, but frankly I must be comfortable to sleep on. We realised last night, that after almost a month of not drinking, we haven't had a fight in all that time. Just gives an indication of how booze really can be destructive; and for no serious reasons.

20 comments:

Expensive Mistakes and Cheap Thrills said...

luke and i seem incapable of fighting while snottered. it's the sober moments that seem to attract the humdinger arguments.

'over what?' you might ask.

nothing. the kid's dummy. the dishes in the sink. the shoes by the door.

nothing really.

we need no excuse to get the boxing gloves on.

Peas on Toast said...

Thrills - ha ha, well that's actually quite refreshing. Because at least when you argue you are well aware of what you're doing, you are probably rational and are of clear mind. Oh! And you'll actually remember what you argued about the next day. :)

ChewTheCud said...

You're comfortable to sleep on? Do I make some comment about your pillows now?

Peas on Toast said...

Chew - sure babe, go right ahead. :)

I woke up with his back in my face.

Champagne Heathen said...

Tell 3rm he needs to wear lower cut tops & increase the puppy-dog eyes to get the cops to listen to him. Hasn't failed me yet! They just wanted to be made to feel like the big macho man, y'know.

Anonymous said...

Hey Peas, after reading your blog for a couple of weeks, I found myself wondering how the hell do you do this and does it help you deal with other people daily crap...so I gave it a shot: check out my inconsequential ramblings on: http://sunrisechipncheez.blogspot.com

Expensive Mistakes and Cheap Thrills said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Expensive Mistakes and Cheap Thrills said...

peasy...

stumbled on something that made me think of ya - http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e305/withlovediamonds/bovvered.jpg

enjoy!

Expensive Mistakes and Cheap Thrills said...

the entire link doesn't seem to want to paste.

i will post the pic on my blog for you;)

Expensive Mistakes and Cheap Thrills said...

it's under today's blog post....

http://batchfoo.blogspot.com/2008/01/for-peas.html

Peas on Toast said...

Chmaps - I was actually quite surprised at the cop's reaction to 3RM - I mean, Lucas our security guard loves him. That's quite a feat. Since he hates any guys coming to my apartment. He's a bit weird like that.

Anon - thanks so much, and howdy! I'll definitely take a look!

Thrills - oooh for me? Thanks babe, lemme go and see!

Anonymous said...

I take it that you agree with 3RM anger towards SAPS incompetence? Isn't that ironic?! I seem to recall a post you wrote several weeks ago thanking SAPS for letting you go for an expired licence disk and DUI! You and 3RM should be you and 1874RM sharing a cell in Pollsmoor for your crimes! Maybe hypocritical should be added between opinionated and bitch?

Peas on Toast said...

Anon - I actually never got a DUI, if you read that post properly. He didn't charge me because I wasn't drunk. But that's besides your point.

Let me put it to you this way: if you were 3RM and asked the cop to kindly direct the traffic, and you got this response, how would you react?

Put into Pollsmoor for our crimes is also not the point, as we haven't done crimes here. It would appear the metro cops have done the crime. But thanks for your comment anyway.

Champagne Heathen said...

Is being opinionated considered a bad thing in this town? Hmmm. Perhaps this would help explain the extreme amount of apathy in too many of Jozi's communities. And in my opinion, "apathy" is a social crime. Opinion away, I reckon!

Peas on Toast said...

Champs - absolutely. And anonymous also has opinions of his own, of which I am quite happy to hear - hence the reason I have a comments roll. :)

And I agree with you - apathy is a crime! ;)

Sunrise Chip n' Cheez said...

Cops are complete apethetic animals that are not moved by any sense of logic, case # 10272:

A guy on DBN beach front is playing a merry game of hacky sack, guy kicks ball high in the air, and plop lands on female cops head...

COP: Eish!
GUY: Shees, sorry Maam, can I have my ball back?
COP: You cheeky lil' boy, why you hit me with your ball?!
GUY:Sorry, I kicked to high, can I have my ball back?
COP:No you muust apologise!
GUY: I just have? Can I have my ball back?
COP: You being cheeky? I will arrest you!
GUY: WHY?
COP: For being cheeky
GUY: You must be joking?
COP: (getting irate and wobbling around a fat finger) I will arrest you!

Blah blah - you know the rest: Guy gets arrested, cop makes a huge scene of arresting the guy, crowd gathers, crowd yells at cop, cop gets more violent and handcuffs guy for crowd entertainment...guys gets carted off in police van.

What a F*ck up!

Ruby said...

as much as i usually despise them for their stupidity today i'm actually grateful to them. Funny aint it?

Peas on Toast said...

sunrise - nice site dude, I checked it out! Also, being arrested for beign cheeky - that's hilarious - does that go on record as 'lwed behaviour' or 'misconduct?'

Ruby - tell me, what do they do for you today m'dear?

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