Misleading advertising rocks. Why?
It gives you a false sense of security. If the nice lady in the picture is putting Coca-Cola in the rosy-cheeked baby's feedtube, then surely it must be ok. It makes you believe you can be everything you want to be, and happiness is eptomised by wealth - even if you're standing in a rations queue with food stamps. Because even though you have a suspicion you're being had, you can't help but wonder if “Vanish is really a miracle all-stain removing product” or “If marijuana will most definitely turn you into a serial killer.” Because somehow the product will enhance your life and give you everything you need. Like this lake with swans floating on top of it. Because panpipes are marketed as pleasurable, soothing instruments – but we all know deep down that we'd go fucken mental if we were subjected to it for more than five and a half seconds. Because once upon a time, George W. Bush didn't exist. So adverts lied less than they do today. Oh and fat people could play ball. They play on sexuality. With knobs like those, and look how she's touching that thing – even I'm getting horny – whose gonna say no? Because every female out there wants to be a kept woman. Catch phrases. The gift that keeps on giving. (Holy smokes.) It tastes like shit, but pain is beauty. You'll still eat it, ladies. It just looks so fast in print.
We love a good brand name. Crapper's did particularly well, for instance. The name is now a verb, noun and a profanity.
Because with advertising, all things are possible. And lots of people are stupid.