Thursday, February 14, 2008

proclamations of love

'Tis the day that could be the very blight of humanity's compassion.
The day of Hallmark love. Allow me.

If you're not one of the Smug Couplings out there and face this day with fear and loathing [in Las Vegas,] then don't bother reading this post. I love love too much to miss this opportunity folks. And hey, even if I was in love with a statue that didn't return my feelings - this is me, pondering love on Love Day.

Firstly, to the person who makes my legs feels like noodles:

Thank you for being there for me. Thank you for understanding me, knowing more about me each day and still loving me all the same. Thank you for making me laugh. Thank you for so many things. You're my favourite curly-haired, Little Britain-loving, cricket playing, Eastern Cape accented, merino wool-wearing, techno-listening, drum & bass knee-dancing man, in the whole world. I just frigging adore you.
Bless your cotton wifebeater. The one you wear just to get my reaction. And I don't think I'm alone here. With that reaction.

Right, so what is love? (Baby don't hurt me.....)There're a million and one definitions of love, so here're mine:
Love is finding his untimely flatulence adorable. Love is meeting someone on an aeroplane you didn't want to have anything to do with, then (ok.....this is embarrassing...)....then just before the return flight, spraying your perfume on the blazer he leant you over the weekend before you give it back to him. And my best mate caught me doing this. How embarrassing.
But what the hell, it's V-Day, so there you are.

What are you doing?
Nothing. Nothing.
You just sprayed, ha ha ha, YOU JUST SPRAYED HIS BLAZER WITH CHANEL CHANCE, Oh My God Peas, that's hilarious.
No I didn't.
The bottle is in your hand, I just caught you, oh my God, you LIKE [Mr 747!]
NO. I DO NOT. I just wanted to make smelt nice before I return it. I WAS BEING CONSIDERATE, Poen.”
You like him, you like him, you like him...
OK shut the fuck up. I have to sit next to him again on the aeroplane. Please just hush. This is ludicrous anyway, we know I can't go there.
You like him, you like him...
WHA-EVA. ....But if you tell him, I'll die a slow and painful death in seat 15C.

Blind one. Love is letting them believe their historical fact is right, by pretending you know no different. Love is them feeding you, mouthful by mouthful, while you drive back from a party at 2:00am.

Love is physically aching when they're away. Love is still asking them how they take their tea, because sometimes they like milk and sometimes they don't. Love is sucking it up when they see ex's, but still getting jealous deep down inside.

Love is somehow managing to pop their name into a sentence every five minutes. Meetings, bathroom queues, the Samoosa Lady... Love is not only accepting their bunion, but finding it sexually attractive.

Love is feeling projected and endless sadness for them when they're sad. Love is thinking about their legs All. Day. Long.

Love is them being the first person you call when:
You get big news
Have a crisis
Have to tell someone something hilarious
Sky News says another tube caught on fire [Love is] Two persons who have chosen each other out of all the species with a design to be each other's mutual comfort and entertainment have, in that action, bound themselves to be good-humored, affable, discreet, forgiving, patient, and joyful, with respect to each other's frailties and perfections, to the end of their lives. - Joseph Addison.

For the Lionel Richie in all of us. (He lives within. He does. You just deny him that's all).
Happy Valentine's Day!


MamaMeeA said...

Awww,sweet, Peas.

Have a happy one.

kyknoord said...

You too.
However, what's Valentine's Day without a little Macbeth?

Was the hope drunk
Wherein you dress'd yourself? hath it slept since?
And wakes it now, to look so green and pale
At what it did so freely? From this time
Such I account thy love.

Peas on Toast said...

Mamameea - aw, you too babe. xx

Kyk - It is with thine considerable relief that I should cast mine eyes across the sweet notes of MacBeth, and not thine cliche Romeo & Juliet. Bless your heart Kyk xx

Jam said...

This is such a beautiful post. You just made my morning, gave me hope, made me smile some more.
Happy Valentines to you!

High in Dubai said...

Peas, Bless this lovely post...

Peas on Toast said...

Jam - thanks ma darlin'. And to you too! You just made my V-Day morning with our regular cuppa Joe :) xxx

Dubai - thanks babe, and happy happy to you too. Bless your desert wear! :)

Mel said...

“In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything & two minus one equals nothing”. Mignon Mclaughlin

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! I'm feeling very blessed to have someone amazing to share this day with. Although I'm forcing him to watch Love Actually tonight so maybe he's not quite as blessed as me! ;-)

Peas on Toast said...

Mel - Happy V-Day to you babe!


I've got it at home, and have probably seen it about 46 times. The Portuguese/Colin Firth scene never gets old. And I cry like a baby.

Mel said...

I've seen it a million times as well! Borrowed it from our brother-in-law specially for tonight, gives me a valid reason to watch it. I think secretly, he enjoys it, but won't admit it! I love the creepy Bill Nighy character!

Ruby said...

and happy valentines day to you too hun!!! you sound genuinely happy, loved and loving....i'm glad:)

Peas on Toast said...

Hugh Grant for president:

"So do you have a boyfriend?"

Martine McCutcheon: "I did, then I broke up with him because he said I was fat and my legs looked like tree stumps."

"Who do I have to shag to get tea and chocolate biscuit around here?"

It's too fabulous.

Peas on Toast said...

Ruby - thanks dollface :) And to you too, hope you have a wonderful day!

Sidenote: To all the singletons out there: Hope you also have an amazing day. Don't let the top dog at Hallmark dictate that you should feel left out. Remember - you have no expectations of this day, whereas the couples do! (If someone forgets, there'll be tears.)


nursemyra said...

i know what you mean about the bunion :-)

KaB said...

Awww...happy VD to you too :)

May Cupid's arrow hit you in all the right spots!

Gold digger said...

I'm feeling very unloved today. Bokkie is away on business.

But that aside, I'll be giving something of myself this afternoon. I'm going to donate blood and then go rent 2 or 3 soppy romcoms to watch by myself. Love Actually will be on top of the pile.

Peas on Toast said...

nurse - hahahahahah, seriously?? Yours or your other half's?

Kab - you too dearheart! Have a wonderful one :) xx

golddigger - aw, bokkie being away isn't ideal! But you're still loved even if he's on business somewhere, which is pretty wonderful. Enjoy those romcoms! xx

Anonymous said...

This is such a beautiful post!Thanks for bringing back the hope of findin love again.I'm single.I woke up to a "happy v-day" msg from my ex and I was bleak immediately!He really messed me up but I still love him.After reading this post I became optimistic in my finding someone to adore and be adored by!I hope I too find my own Mr 747.perhaps the said ex will become one in the next lifetime?only time will tell.
Have a fantastic day,I know I will after reading such a positive post (normally people diss love,because of past occurances!)
You rock....

Peas on Toast said...

Anon - it's a pleasure babe. I'm glad it made you smile at least - and am sorry to hear about your ex. I'm glad he remembered you though, and V-Day is never easy if you're still pining for someone. Thanks for your kind words and hope you manage to have an awesome day! xx

Champagne Heathen said...

Aaaah, maar that is such a sweet post!! I am sure it made your man grin madly and goofily. Good for you!

HAPPY HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY Everyone. To chocolate, and champagne, and loving whoever.

Peas on Toast said...

Champs - ha ha, I think he's blushing and being mocked to death by his colleagues.

They're calling him Noodle. Poor bugger :)

Have a lovely day yourself madam, and enjoy getting some love!

The Divine Miss M said...

You're so cute Peas ... in fact you're so cute you just made me puke up my breakfast.


Happy V Day!

Peas on Toast said...

Miss M - ag, I'm honoured. I managed to make you puke from my cuteness!

Have a great day girl! xx

Parenthesis said...

What is love? I'd have to go with TS Eliot on this one.

What have we given?
My friend, blood shaking my heart.
The awful daring of a moment’s surrender,
which an age of prudence can never retract.
By this, and this only, we have existed,
which is not to be found in our obituaries,
or in memories draped by the beneficent spider
Or under seals broken by the lean solicitor in our empty rooms ...

Peas on Toast said...

Parenthesis - that is so beautiful. Just shows how vulnerable and mortal we's a little terrifying too. But if TS can surrender, then I suppose we should give it a shot too.

Billy said...

Hello my darling Peas.
Long time hey.
Happy V day. Cracker post, loved it.

Peas on Toast said...

Billy - So, so SO long! Happy V Day m'dear, where've you been all my life?

The Blonde Blogshell said...

I LOVED your post! Happy V day doll! I just couldn't find a bunion attractive!
I love love and I'm getting surprised tonight, so I'm outta here!
Later x

Tattooed F*ckwit said...

Ms. Peas,

Have been reading for some time. This has to be one of the most awesomest blog posts of the year thus far.

You got my vote!