keep talkin', i'm listening

Another delightfully mediocre day. Except, only for a while, because again - again - it ended exceptionally well.

I have some freelance work coming through which is Ace of Spades. So in between stitching, I am actually writing some articles. I even plan to unhermit myself from the safety of my apartment this weekend for a bit of action.

On my house - I have found a strange safety herein. For one, I don't need to go outside and freak when someone walks up to me, or comes up to my car; and for two I don't have to bump into anybody I don't want to see – I'm safe! But my shrink reckons its time to get out. (But why?) I just have a lot of bring-your-own-booze's at my place, it's working like a charm. I am still seeing people, so it's not like I'm Quasimodo yet. (Apparently, she thinks this is ok, but I need to actually go to places. Whatever man.)

So Klo and The Dove came over for Stitch 'n Bitch Club last night. Actually, we just had a good meal together. I was the only one stitching, of course. 3RM may look at my scarf in disdain and say, “Are you actually going to wear that?” (Well of course I'm going to fucking wear it. Come. On.) The girls, though, were naturally compassionate.

Had such a great dinner with my girls. We've all been through some seriously hard life-stuff, and Klo reckons self-flattery is the way forward. ("Remember Peas, I am amazing; you are amazing. Quite frankly, we're probably the most amazing people out there.") The level of sincerity in which that was said, and how earnestly she looked me in the face, well she could've told me I had grown a set of testicles on the top of my head, and I would've believed her.

Oh and that nice thing that happened? It happened again yesterday. It's so refreshing, I can't even tell ya. It's so good for me, and am loving it and just...being nicely distracted and you know, stuff.

But then, during my dinner party, I got some news. Clearly the Universe is sucking up to me, and trying to get me back in its good books. Well it's working. The Universe's charm and charisma is working; I'm falling for it 100%. Bastard. Who runs hot and cold, but whatever....God, why am I even humanising the Universe?? (This should be unpacked in a different post.)

But maybe something good has got to happen as a result of life, balance and karma right? Surely, it's just science? Because when I got this phonecall, I almost started crying. Relief, disbelief, everything. I am over the moon, it's not final – and when it is, Jesus, I'll tell you all about it – but it's been going on for about 2 months now. And I've just cleared the point whereby I can't do anything else, I've given my best and now it's just up to the jury. Makes sense? Probably not. But it's been one helluva journey. So when I said something good has to happen for me, well, take or leave it, I will expect nothing less. Motherfuckers.

(Sidenote: Now Universe. Listen to me, and listen to me proper. I'm thankful for these little bursts of cool things. I am. Now please just keep 'em coming. I love you and thanks you for my opportunities during this horrible, bleak, dark time. Which I am already laughing about, but will laugh about with a genuine belly laugh in a few years time. For now it's kind of a vacuous, “fuck you for fucking me” laugh. Annnyway. Thank you for remembering me, somehow. Thank you. )