Friday, March 14, 2008

thanks monsieur koekoe[sic]moer

There's more than meets the eye here, but it's been a horrific week for more reasons than just a mugging, PMS, no water, job frustrations.
Until yesterday I was pretty much a "down server." Couldn't send or receive, was just an empty shell of a woman.

Until Vernon Koekoemoer entered my life.

Briefly, I had the pleasure of actually laughing.

This guy was found at H20 this weekend. (H20 is a regular old school rave, occurring on the fibreglass waterways of Wild Waters in Boksburg.)

This is he. Then someone named him, for heavens knows his real name isn't Vernon (but imagine how coincidental or funny it would be if he really was Vernon Koekemoer.)

Anyway, as you can clearly see – this individual has it all.
I mean look at him.

He's everything you ever wanted to walk down the street and tell your mate, "Dude I really just saw the most amazing thing...no really...it was like I was in this bad dream..."

The Buffalo's, the mullet, the nutcracker shorts, the steroids, the wifebeater, the over-the-wifebeater ballet blouse, the chain. Vernon is now famous. His photo has been everywhere, and a Facebook group was started which, in 24 hours had more than 1 100 people join. Members were encouraged to make photos using Vernon as their...muse.
Oh and “Vernon” (although not Vernon) started a profile of himself, so you can be his friend too if you want.

Here are some of the mock ups that came out of it:










(These ones are my favourite, but there're heaps more, really worth looking at if you want a giggle. And it's hard to make me giggle at the moment.)

The creator of the group has threatened to leave because he is scared “Vernon” will find the group and sue him. Let's think of the possibilities of this happening. Hmm, no. Vernon clearly found Buffalo's yesterday; and they came and went in 1991. So chances are, he has no idea what the Internet is, nevermind Facebook. Vernon is also alone at H20, so probably doesn't have any geeky friends. Vernon should also be well chuffed! If not very flattered – I mean the oke has done some serious travelling. To Mount Rushmore, to the moon, to New York, to the Great Wall of China. Vernon is a new legend - he's starred in films, sitcoms, soap operas.....

He really shouldn't fret. It happened to the Hoff and Chuck Norris. (Chuck who?)

A dude on ChumpStyle reckoned there's been a Vern spotting at the Benoni Virgin Active. What a sight that must be! Vern in the flesh, pumping iron! A sight for sore eyes indeed.

They're making t-shirts and bumper stickers now. I've already placed an order. Random humour really really works for me.

25 comments:

kyknoord said...

I've never been quite as tempted to join Facebook as I have now. Speaking of random - it's amazing what a difference a hyphen can make. Your Chumpstyle link points to another Chumpstyle blog, run by some arb dude called Brendan. The local chumps are at http://chump-style.blogspot.com

Peas on Toast said...

Kyk - no ways! I have inadvertently stumbled upon a Chumpie imposter! :)

As for Vern, he's an absolute beeyoot isn't he?

Musings said...

Is Vernon really a real person? Has someone seen him with their own eyes? In the flesh? He looks suspiciously cobbled together, Photoshop-style...

Oh I hope so, the alternative is just too frightening...

sunrise said...

The coolest thing since MC Hammers pants in "Hammer time"!

sunrise said...

The coolest thing since MC Hammers pants in "Hammer time"!

Peas on Toast said...

Musings - oh he's real alright. Apparently he's always at H20, not to mention Evolution in Midrand and Splash in Boksburg. At the last H20, he was allegedly wearing the same shorts. There are a couple of real pics of him in the group as well - random sightings that people whipped their cameras out for!

Sunrise - Oh yeah. Vernon is one cool guy, remember there is no NO in Vernon.

Sheena Gates said...

Guys, Vern is my one true love.

Yup, s'true. He's even hotter in real life

;)

Heather said...

ha ha ha! I found that group on facebook yesterday as well. hilarious!

griffin said...

Ja, I also got this oke. But i am giving him a proper home and he is moving in soon. He is larger than Chuck.

fuzzy logic said...

Thank you thank you thank you Peas. That was just the laugh I needed in an otherwise very shitty day.

bron said...

hey there peas! thanks for posting some of the pics! I wanted to show mate the brilliant artworks on the group and it is now closed! so ta for having them on your site! love reading your blog with my morning coffee all the way in london, so thanks for all the posts!

griffin said...

Like promised, we gave Vernon a proper home:

http://www.vernon.co.za
http://www.vernonkoekemoer.co.za
http://www.ramboguy.co.za

Alya said...

LOOOOOOOOOOOL!!!!!!!!!!

duzbin said...

HAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHA

griffin: I think there needs to be a VernonFacts.co.za

I have heard he is the one the legends have been talking about.

He is able to take down the Chuck and the Hoff at the same time, while drinking a beer, with his hands tied behind his back.

ZT said...

Some people suspect that Vernon Koekemoer was placed where he is today with a specific purpose. There is a poll out on http://www.intoharties.com/

What do you think?

Pete

ZT said...

Some people suspect that Vernon Koekemoer was placed where he is today with a specific purpose. There is a poll out on http://www.intoharties.com/

What do you think?

Pete

Immi said...

omg i'm sure i just saw i picture of this guys dad at My Coke Fest cpt on facebook!

weird said...

I feel kind of bad for Vernon. Does that make me weird?

chaosgone said...

That's so funny!

Olga, the Traveling Bra said...

This is hysterical..in a pathetic kinda way...but still freakin hysterical!!!! :)

carla said...

looooooooooooool that is funny as hahahahaha its just fantastic

Dion said...

You made the front page of www.reddit.com

Matt said...

Mark my words, this will all end in tears.
Mark them, I say. Mark Them!
With indelible ink. And write a little comment at the side saying, 'oh, this clever man predicted that it would all end in tears even back then, but of course none of us listened to him, but wasn't he so perfectly wise and admirable to have pointed out what now seems obvious to us all in retrospect?'
Yes, like that.

South African said...

My site's been at number 2 on SA top sites for so long, and then it dropped to number 3...I had to come see why and now I understand...the Vernon Koekemoer effect. I'd watch my back if I were you...Vernon's coming.

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