safety officers, two wheels & a town

I hung with 3RM last night after we buried Chad.
3RM dug the hole, and I delivered him unto the Earth.

(“What you do today Dale?” I dug a hole.)

There were a few things we both agreed on:

1)Vernon Koekemoer is moving to Parkhurst. The Jolly Roger is his new playground and he's made the trip out from Brakpan using a furniture removal company's truck. He's gone Northern Suburbs. And he's capitalising. Or maybe not, but that would be funny. And possibly a situation where truth is stranger than fiction. (“Where you from?” Parkhurst boet. “Oh.”)

2)I have no junk in my trunk. Or so he reckons. It'll be cool to have an appetite again.

3)We're off to Secunda on Saturday! I jest it not. Roadtrip, except not to the balmy paradise of the Natal coast, but to the eastern dwelling-cum- the Sasol-oasis of The Poenda to stay with The Ant in her new home and get shown around. Finally. It's going to be one helluva cultural experience, with my little Italian friend whoreganising a tour around the plant and some huge peri-urban nightclub experience probably involving Vern lookalikes and lots of platinum blonde hair. Can't wait.

4)Tom Cruise is a nutcase.

5)The Ant was assigned as Safety Officer at her job in The Poenda. And her company takes safety very very seriously. Only the Ant would be relegated to such a position and a) take it seriously, and b) find time for it.

For instance, her latest case involved a woman falling off her chair on answering her desk phone. Ant had to file a whole case with regards to position of phone on desk, possible wear-and-tear of the chair, possible obstructions accounting for how this could happen, costs involved, latitude of the chair itself, her blood type, everything involving a phone, a chair and a woman who leaned over too much to the left. She files cases on top of her job. God I can't wait to see her.

6)We're going to a birthday karaoke party tonight. I said to 3RM: “Dude if you sing, you're going to need to be drunk.” Instead he said, “Dude I'm gonna have to be drunk to watch you sing.” Oh I see then.

The things we don't agree on from yesterday:

1)That he didn't go around the corner on two wheels, with me in his car.

2)That I questioned the fact that sexual prowess is indicative of how someone takes corners.

3)And that he thinks a person who allegedly takes corners on two wheels, shouldn't be questioned on their sexual prowess.

4)He says the St Elmo's Fire theme tune sounds like the rolling credits of a soap opera. Which is a gross and whoring misdescription.

5)He's only one quarter Portuguese. Whatever. How many trinchadas can one person eat?

6) He thought the Murder She Wrote jingle is from Mylo, that techno guy.

He's such a peach. I can't wait for the weekend. Which is, oh look at that, right here.