Wow, so my first day was pretty darn cool. Exhausted come day-end, but that's probably because I had so much new information going through my head, and I have to adapt to an 8-6 again.
So much to learn, and I have a fantastic mentor. Be still my jangly nerves: I'm pretty stoked.
Wow all this change...it feels like I'm a completely different person to who I was two months ago. And I am. Hell. This whole period has left me with all sorts of questions, not even directed at anyone specifically, just questions.
One of my findings in this mumbo jumbo “trying to find enlightenment” crap, is that the human race is split 50/50. When it comes to good and evil. I used to believe that every single person in this world – fucked up or not – was good deep down. Peel away the layers and somewhere everyone has a heart. I dunno about this anymore. In fact, I do know – let's just take that Austrian fucker as the worst example.
A dude has children with his daughter who, at 18, he locks up in a cellar. Then proceeds to also have an “upstairs” family with his allegedly unassuming wife. I mean, how the fuck did something that fucking insane and inhumane live to get away with this for over twenty years?
His daughter is now in hospital with a mock bunker built about her, because she and her children (one who is dying of an in-bred related disease), are so disoriented with the light of day.
I just don't understand the evil side of human nature. Even to a smaller degree, those who don't appear to have any sort of conscience or heart.
Those who walk away from something seemingly and completely uncaring.
And what is it with Austria and Belgium? Two beautiful countries, steeped both in history, gorgeous landscape, and first world amenities, how come so many paedophiles and crazy fucks seem to spring from there? OK, I can't generalise, but I'm just trying to fucking understand. Maybe a small faction of these societies are having an identity crisis. Belgium isn't quite France, and Austria isn't quite Germany.
I don't know. I'm trying every angle to get to the bottom of human depravity at the moment. There has to be an explanation for such behaviour, come on? Maybe the world just needs balance in order to survive. There are good people and there are bad people. Before I thought, “what happened to these people? It must've been hectic. They were born good deep down!”
But they're not. Humanity is split 50/50. This is why people refer to Earth as both Hell and paradise at the same time. There are dark elements and there are light ones too. All due to the human race and its basic flaws, and our impact on the planet in general. Not everyone can be trusted, not everyone feels the same as you and I do (or you and I don't do.)
And it's an important lesson. In not trusting, and equally importantly, in letting go.
It's a balance you have to learn.
Anyway enough about that. Heavy stuff for a Tuesday morning. Shit. I was in one of those deep, contemplative moods.
Nuff about that. Back to work!