Monday, May 19, 2008

granny's back's been put out

Oh how I love my new Irish friend! She's too great for words. She's gone back to Dublin now, and she was right – by the end of the week I knew exactly what she was saying. Her accent is like a song, and there are some things worth mentioning: “Thirty three and a third” is “Turty tree and a turd” quite literally. What's her favourite day of the week? Torsday. Anyway, she's taking me to a beer garden festival on my first day in Dublin. Yay!

I ended up going to a Chino Pants Popular Drinking Hole in Sandton thereafter, at about midnight with a mate for a nightcap. Spur of the moment thing. Twasn't as traumatic as I thought. The pick up lines are so gung ho in these meat markets, I've even missed it.

And on Saturday 3RM and I hauled buns. We hauled boxes in his step-mum's Condor to my new shag pad.
Hauling boxes is a mission. Especially when you're moving to what seems a quiet suburban neighbourhood. (Although must reiterate, the Colony is within rolling distance of my flat). But my Daffyt Thomas mug, the one from The Dove? Was animatedly yakking away while we moved.

3RM: Dude something's talking to me in this box.
Mug: THAT'S EXACTLY THE SORT OF HOMOPHOBIC BEHAVIOUR I'VE COME TO EXPECT IN THIS VILLUGE....GOOD DAY!
By which an old lady and two hot guys walk past. Neighbours I presume.
I'M THE ONLY GAY IN THE VILLUGE!

...MFAMWY, THESE HOT PANTS ARE GIVIN' ME TERRIBLE CHAFIN'

With boxes all around me and two awesomely pukey yet full of charm 70s pleather chairs 3RM has lent me, we sat and quaffed wine. C and L came too, with champagne and snacks – and we sat on the balcony and had an unofficial little gathering of a roof wetting.

Next week I do the rest, I'm half moved in. I have bruises on my arms from boxes, and something in my back went 'ping' yesterday, I swear to God. Carrying boxes, scraping against my sort-of excuses for biceps.

Then some of us went out for dins and wine and got all political – well 3RM and I especially – and it all started with a debate around the fact that 3RM calls an orange light an 'amber light.' So yes maybe in the fucking Learner's Manuel you call it that, but my argument was based on the fact that nobody says 'I jumped an amber and got a fine.' It's an ORANGE LIGHT. Everyone but everyone calls it orange. And to prove my point, we phoned a few people.

Teddy said he called it a yellow light. So it wasn't a substantiated answer.

Ant said it was mainly orange, according to the consensus around the room. L said it was orange, even my father said orange: Dad, quick question: the colour between the red and the green on a traffic light. The colour, give me a colour swatch for this middle light. Thanks.

Was just trying to prove a point with 3RMs verbose dialect, and I think I did. Not out of anything except that he calls jerseys jumpers and Simba chips crisps and he's very English and so forth, and it's all very entertaining.

Anyway, I can't stop thinking about my home and where I'm going to put what, and how I'm going to finance this and that and gosh it's exciting!

31 comments:

c@th said...

Wah! new home! or should i say 'abode'?

YAY

X

Peas on Toast said...

Yay! C@th I'm just so excited! Can't even tell ya!

MsBehavn said...

The most exciting part about moving into a new home slash abode is all the lost treasures you find tucked away under all your stuff when you're packing.

Of course, champagne and impromptu roofwettings are loads of fun too. Hauling boxes not so much!

Peas on Toast said...

msbehavn - soo funny, it was like Christmas all over again yesterday. I started unpacking my kitchen glassware box and all my glasses were packed in tissue...everytime I opened one I was like 'Ooooh! I forgot about THESE wineglasses :'

God, small pleasures hey. I'm worried about myself.

SwissTwist said...

Don't you remember that rhyme from nursery school? 'Stop says the red light, go says the green, wait says the amber light blinking in between. Thats what they say and thats what they mean. We all must obey them, even the Queen.' (and then we all did a little curtsy)

All that said, it is a freaking orange coloured light!

Hope your back recovers in time for next weekend's moving. Have a fantastic week.

Peas on Toast said...

SwissTwist - no ways, never heard it! But 3RM sure has :)

I mean we don't say 'I jumped a SCARLET' light, do we??

Anyway yes the old back is taking strain, but Granny is so excited to be moving! You have a good week too m'dear!

Mini said...

Sweet Pea.English is a crazy language,after all English muffins weren't invented in England,nor French fries in France and a boxing ring aint really a ring but its square! Alot of South Africans say robot when it actually it's a traffic light and we say firfteen(15) whilst the English say feefteen!Lol. Hope yo'l had a gr8 wknd :-)

Peas on Toast said...

Absolutely Mini - that sort of stuff can't be explained really. But 3RM calls it an amber light JUST to be otherwise, and that, my friend, has got to be challenged. Just like how he calls a jersey a jumper. Now if he was IN England that would be ok. But he's here, innit? ;)

(PS: I said innit to take the piss. I hope everyone gets that.)

Charmskool said...

Orange light must be a Jozie thing, I've never heard it called anything but amber here in Cape Town. Oh yes and a jumper is a sweater where I come from and a jersey is a cardigan...confusing enough for you?

Peas on Toast said...

Charmskool - no ways. Are you guys cut from the same cloth or what? ;)

FiOnion said...

Orange? Amber? Sheez, it's yellow... as in "That effin' taxi just went flying though the yellow!" ;0

But then again, I call broekies "knickers", and pantihose are "tights", while button-up jerseys are "cardigans" or "cardies". Blame my Manchester-granny for doing that to me... :)

Congrats on your new pozzie!

leez said...

Isn't that from little england?...

Peas on Toast said...

FiOnion - yellow is better than amber, I agree. Just like red is better than scarlet :)

You have a Manchester granny - brilliant! Dare I ask, is she like the Catherine Tate granny - cos that would be priceless ;)

Leez - Little Britain you mean? Amber lights, probably.

Revolving Credit said...

I think that ifyou're going to refer to the contraption as traffic lights, then the colour is definitely amber. However, if you refer to them as robots, the colour is orange.

As to 'I jumped a Scarlet', I do believe you are refering to one of The Ants fantasies, although I do think that would be much more effective at stopping traffic that any amber/ornage/yellow light.

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - Jumped a scarlet, classic - will definitely have to tell Ant that her fantasy is closer than she realises ha ha ha!

Revolving Credit said...

Now don't you be going all Alicia on us either?

(well, only if you promise to post the video clip)

Jam said...

It can be so exciting moving into a new place, and such a welcome change. Yay! I'm so pleased to hear you sounding so postive and alive again!

happy snapper said...

hmm....I've actually nearly payed much attention as to what i call the middle light on a robot. But I think its orange? I have called it amber from time to time, but predominantly orange.

As for house moving..woop woop!! Stoked for you Peas, change is a-brewing. Much like the beer waiting for you in Dublin ;)

FiOnion said...

Catherine Tate... Omigawd. *thuddd!*waft*waft*wake-up-Fi*
Gran was not quite like that, hehe. She was very proper in a polite working-class way, but had a typical Lancashire vocab which rubbed off on me cos she'd been granny-daycare from when I was a baby. Just picture how I was mocked when I got to nursery school and opened my mouth to say the word "one" a la Chadderton High St....

Billy said...

Did i see you and Ludwig arriving at Design Quater for Breakfast on Sunday?

Ches said...

Musturd!

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - I mus admit, Alicia hasn't been of core focus lately.

In fact, I don't even have a replacement :(

Jam - can't wait for you ladies to come over for dinner! xx

Happy - whoop whoop indeed! And surely not amber, surely not! :)

FiOnion - ah....but not even a little bit? ;) Because that would be cool!

Billy - no ways...you recognised me?? That is scary ha ha! I was buying curtains and stuff. Why didn't you come say howzit?

Peas on Toast said...

Ches - um...yum. ;)

Ches said...

Colour of the light!
Means touch the roof...

happy snapper said...

Yeah, Im with ches, I touch the roof too.

Peas on Toast said...

Oh yes if you DON'T touch the roof something is wrong. ALWAYS gotta touch the roof. Always.

In fact, if you're serious about orange light roof-touching, join the Facebook Group.
:)

happy snapper said...

ha ha! I already am :)

Sheena Gates said...

I also say amber. Sorry, am with 3rm.


Does your new pad have the sexathon pink carpet????

Peas on Toast said...

Sheen - you WOULD side with 3RM, wouldn't ya? ;)

Yip, the pink carpet comes with me!

Sheena Gates said...

Wahaha! No man, I'm all about the sorority.

But yes, it is 3rm we're talking about...

Billy said...

Hey, i was pulling out as you pulled in, had screming child on board and thus needed to get going!