Tuesday, June 24, 2008

those sites

3RM's stance on internet dating sites, or as he calls it, 'Social Networking Sites With The Express Goal Of Getting Your Groove On' is thus:

1) The guys just want to get laid
2) The nicknames are really bad – he reckons they're worse than Blogger nicknames:

3RM: Jenna From Behind! Click on that one!
Peas: Jenna From Behind, that would make an excellent blogname...if of course, you took it from behind, or, you know, in the behind.

I tend to agree with him on the internet dating stance. I love the Internet, I spend my day on it, my job is basically the Internet, and I spend a lot of time interacting on it. But dating? Never gone there, or even considered it before.

I can see why others have: It makes logical sense – you can be brutally honest, you can screen people, you can decide to meet them or not, yadda yadda yadda. But I don't think it's something that would retain my interest for an adequate amount of time.

And also, again, you really could be chatting to the 55 year old in Boksburg, or a kiddie fiddler, or a dude with a bunion, and not realise it...and then, well I suppose you could not open your computer for a week and hope the problem goes away.

Another thing, the speed of the dating site we were giggling at, was horrifically slow. People are on just trying to get laid. Facebook is faster than this shit, and people are poking each other every 0.05 seconds.

Although 3RM has a point: 'It's probably hooked up to someone's laptop in a garage in Boksburg somewhere, unlike Facebook.'

He was on form last night. I was crying tears of mirth.

Cos imagine the conversations, 'So how long have you been on the site, and like, how are you finding it?'

3RM: 'That's like the cyber equivalent of 'the weather has been nice, hasn't it.'
Then, what do you write in your profiles?

'Hmmm....religion. Non-negotiable, they must be....agnostic.'
As in, please don't believe in a God. If you bend that way, fine, maybe, but otherwise...agnostic or no dice.

Also the 'what do you do?' thing. You could probably have a LOT of fun here. If they asked what I do, for example,(and I say I write) and I find I'm really not into the person, could I, for instance, acceptably write one of these many replies?

'So what do you write?'
Stuff.
Bye.


Or a softer cushioning:
Sentences and Stuff.
Laters.


Or:
Porn scripts. So.....what do you do?

Or: I actually bent the truth a bit, I am an automated spell checker for this site. Thanks for dropping by,
Kind regards,
The FindLurve.com Team


The entertainment value must actually be quite phenomenal on these things. God it must be fun just to shoot from the hip: I do enjoy sex...especially a good spit roast...anyway it's been fun, keep well.

Or 'so what's your real name?'
Peas: Minki.
PS: Van Der Westhuizen.

And if he went: 'Nooooooo WAYS. This is just too good to be true!!!!

Yes, it is too good to be true. I'm not Minki Van Der Westhuizen.

Fuccccccck I laughed last night.

31 comments:

kyknoord said...

Back off, sister! I'm Minki van der Westhuizen!

Peas on Toast said...

nooooooo WAYS!! This is just too good to be true!!!!

:)

Melanie said...

Hi Peas - don't know if you are aware of this, but you feature in an article in the latest SL mag. It's about their favourite Blogs, and your's is their favourite SA Blog!

Peas on Toast said...

Hi Melanie!
Thanks so much, yip I was told it was coming out, haven't seen it yet, but thanks so much!

Betenoir said...

Jenna from behind, but Jonah from the front?

also, I must protest: as a practising (ha) agnostic, I believe in god- agnostic doesn't mean atheist (or we would call ourselves atheist).

Ag*nos"tic\, n. One who professes ignorance, or denies that we have any knowledge, save of phenomena; one who supports agnosticism, neither affirming nor denying the existence of a personal Deity, a future life, etc.

Um. I'm being pedantic, but I like people to be clear.

Peas on Toast said...

Bete - ha ha, I know, I know. Just a stupid example - I meant atheist. I'm also agnostic, so I do understand. My bad.

Charmskool said...

If you like I'll send you the picture of a dude that made out he was pretty acceptable - he was so scary ugly I blogged about it! I will never, ever.....again...

Peas on Toast said...

Charmskool. Oh PLEASE SEND ME THE PIC. C'mon, pleeeease! (peasontoast@gmail.com)

SwissTwist said...

One day when we both have time, I'll relate my highs and lows and all time freaky internet dating stories. (Like the guy who came to pick me up for a date, walked in and started kissing me without even sayin hello!! and oh so many more...) Hey, you could write about it!

One good thing that did come out of my 18 month online dating spree *snigger*.. I met Mr Twist - we've been married 3 years now.

Peas on Toast said...

Swiss - no ways! You found Mr Twist via the internet? See, there are some definite success stories. Two of my mates are happily dating people they also found via internet dating...so there are the one in a millions. But the freaky/funny stories are definitely worth a giggle, that's for certain.

FiOnion said...

My brother got married to the lass he met via the 'Net. Junior is due in December.... ;0

Peas on Toast said...

Fionion - serious?? That's pretty awesome :)

In the UK, dating sites and so forth are so popular - there are even ads in the Tube that say if you don't find your match, you get your frigging MONEY BACK. They are so sure you will, they offer a money back guarantee. In SA, it's not exactly an explosive...market. Or at least, its fairly untapped. Judging from the characters in the gallery I saw last night....

FiOnion said...

Serious...

He got two kids into the bargain as well!

And I have a Canadian net-friend who married a South African from PMB. Then this guy went to live in Canada with her, and they just bought a house there recently.

Peas on Toast said...

Shut up no ways! A Canadian and a Maritzborough Makathini together...wow. :)

Billy1177 said...

I met a lady on the net once, i completely fell in love with her and she turned out to be a nutter and not in the "Jenna From Behind" way but rather in the "boil your nuts in my handbag" kinda way. You live and learn....

I met another lady on the net who's a nutter but thats Peas and she's a more contained nutter, not the "boil your nuts in my handbag" kinda nutter.

Peas on Toast said...

Billy - oh hilarious, (the Peas part, not so much the 'boil your testicles' type.) Shitters, what happened, were you stalked?

One has to be careful as well...I can imagine that the nutters out there have an absolute field day - FIELD DAY - on these sites.

Revolving Credit said...

If peeps meet via an internet dating site, why don't that have on-line dates.

Connect via chat, mxit with a bit of webcam interaction.
If you wanna go to a movie, share a video stream.

You don't actually ever need to physically meet the person do you?

SwissTwist said...

Oh but Rev.. that way the sex is just not the same.

Most of them folks (and yes I was one of 'them' folks) are only online for the shag...

Billy1177 said...

On another note, any idea what happened to Joblog?

Jam said...

;-)

Dating sites can be both good and bad. You just need to learn how to screen people really carefully...and you know the *other* rules. But you're right: hours of entertainment, hours and hours...

Revolving Credit said...

Stwist, so you're in it for the sex.

Tell you what, after we've done the online movie thing and had the online supper (I get Mr Delivery to deliver the meal to you and we both chat online while enjoying our respective meals), yes sex can be had.

Difference is that I'd need to send you one of these.

Then each time you're feeling amorous I'll send you a new track, reflecting the mood I'm in.

Would that work, do you think??

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - not a bad idea, but then what happens after you've had too many cyber drinks, and the webcam gets all hooked up and you see a large, portly rotund man in his Y Fronts getting jiggy with it in front of you?

I suppose, again, you can close your computer and hope the problem goes away.

Swiss - did you say you were online to shag, like in your profile?

Billy - I actually have no idea! I should pop them an email and have a little 'how's your father' with them...

Jam - touche! I think one has to be more ballsy about the interaction as well. As in, 'Dude, seriously, no thanks.' It's good practice I suppose and eventually giving bat comes as easily as shagging.

Ches said...

Peas, 'Dare to date me' is just the best!

Age: 28
Sexual Activity: Virgins or Twins
Ideal Match: I enjoy a squash match from time to time.
Location: I have to be at least 100km's from the last 20 woman I dated.
Looks: I have good eye sight. But sometimes, things go dark and I wake-up 2 days later in Brakpan.

Can like to be stalked!

Peas on Toast said...

Dude is this your profile? If it REALLY is, then that's fucking impressive. I LOVE it. In fact, I reckon it's better to put that sort of stuff down than be all like 'I am a sensitive dude looking for love.' Chicks might dig that and the dude might get laid, but your profile is WAY better.

Charmskool said...

I think I went out with Dare to Date Me. More than once. Peas I sent you the pic of Mr Scary Ugly.

Ches said...

I have never done online dating nor will I, although you're right, if I was forced, I'd be as honest as a coot and the person I'd hope to meet.
The Baron, Sandton is still the best off-line dating ferternity in Jobrug, he he. :)

SwissTwist said...

Rev... please let me know where to send my delivery address! However, in my humble and rather modest experience nothing beats a night (or a few hours) of being physically close to someone... you can always have the music on in the background and I'll gladly forego the dinner *grin*

Peas... I had two profiles - one seeking 'love', the other 'fun'. Dare I even say., the latter went along the lines of somethings busty and other things shaven

Peas on Toast said...

Ches - ...which is exactly why that place sucks balls.

Charm - HAHAHAH, classic! :)

It is the question said...

Ha.

Actually being on the end of one of those idiots is a different matter.

I spent some time chatting with a guy who used another bloke's picture.

Fark. And then he thought I'd get over it.

The story is here.

IITQ

Peas on Toast said...

Oh GOD, iitq - I really thought that type of shit was cliche for a reason! I'll definitely go and have a peek at your post!

It is the question said...

So what happened? Did you get stuck perving at the picture of the guy it turned out not to be?