Wednesday, June 25, 2008

freezation contemplation

There are few things more pleasurable to contemplate than:

1) Knowing as from 8:00am today, I could get The Phone Call. The Phone Call could also inform me that my fluffy white orgasm-inducing rug has arrived from its constrictive hanger in Bloemfontein.

In other words, me and my rug could finally be together. After enduring such a hard long distance relationship;

2)The ease with which a Tony & Guy 'Anti-Frizz & Shiny Sheen' gel stick glides over my hair, and actually does what it promises to do at the same time;

3)My New Friend arrives back soon, and it'll be nice to have a fresh face around the old place.

4)I did a considerable amount of work yesterday. At the office and at home. The story I am writing is finally starting to come together. This is an enormous relief, and I might just have to splurge on a gold frame not an ordinary black one, for the Marilyn Monroe print I plan to hang in the Princess Palace.

The Princess Palace is what I have named my room. It's all woman.
It's a bachelorette shrine, motherfuckers.

When I have a napover one of these days, some poor bloke is going to be overwhelmed by the satiny drape hanging over the bed....To me it's a dream. And that's all that counts.

5)That I might just go and shake some more ass this weekend. It's not out of the question.

6) I really am happy again. Like, shit is stable and shit is cool. But FUCK I am cold. This morning must've been the coldest, darkest morning, surely.

7) It's still a long way off, but I am going to Greece in September. I've given it no thought. But when the time draws closer, I certainly will. And it will be dreamy. The travel aspect to my job makes me want to cry I get so excited.

8) That Lindsey Lohan's mum has decided to start her own reality show, which documents - I believe – her trying to push her second daughter to start acting and singing too. Delicious, maybe, in Doncaster.

9) The longest day of the year has come and gone. I freeze my non-existent balls off each morning in the knowledge that one day I'll wake up because there was once again light. And I can discard the stockings and tan the legs and wear bubble dresses.

10) I just have that excited, funny feeling for some reason. The feeling I'd get before, say, a sale on white fluffy rugs, say.


kyknoord said...

Regarding #5 - the SPCA called. They're very unhappy about your mistreatment of donkeys.

Peas on Toast said...

Kyknoord - that's a derogatory name for a donkey mate. The government called and said that the word @ss is very discriminatory :)

Wonderfully Confused said...

Hi Peas, I am hoping you will get the Phone Call today. Am sending positive energy to Bloemfontein to make them do the right thing. Its only right that you and the Rug are together.

Peas on Toast said...

Bless your little cotton socks Wonderfully Confused! Thanks so much!

Charmskool said...

Excellent post - uplifting and informative and....Tony and Guy you say? I will make a special pilgrimmage at lunchtime for this artifact. Oh yes, I'm sending out positive travelling vibrations for the fluffy white rug.

SwissTwist said...

Does The Rug get a name?

Vimbai said...

You feeling stable, stable is always good when walking this tight rope that i call life.

Hope you and the rug have a heartfelt reunion, don't forget to take pictures :-)

Peas on Toast said...

Thanks Charmskool! And yes you cannot go wrong with Tony & Guy babe. They are having a sales on their AAMAZING hair products at Clicks right now - go! You won't regret it!

(I'm all about the hair right now see. Never have been about the hair, ever. But now that I see the results...can't stop being about the hair!)

Swiss - yes. And he shall be called...Duke. For Duke is A REGAL NAME.

Vimbai - oh the camera will come out; Duke is having a photo shoot alright! :)

Billy1177 said...

Peas and her Rug. A working title for a great book or movie perhaps?

Peas on Toast said...

Maybe me and Jackie Collins can write it together! :)

Aunty Helpful Dictator said...

Movie tag line:

The story of one woman and one rug, torn apart by cruel fate, but whose destinies are entwined forever.

... or until it gets a stain.

Peas on Toast said...

Aunty -

'...she didn't know her rug...fatefully thrown together...but a stray catalogue....will finally get to meet their....match. In

Not for children under 18, batteries not included.

Billy1177 said...

Rugs, the way forward by Dr Manic Humper

Peas on Toast said...

I have a lot to thank Dr Manic Humper for! :)

Lisa said...

oooh, peas!
I too have discovered toni and guy!
Seaspray/beach spray hair stuffs!
I have wonderful waves again, regardless of humidity levels (and it cuts down on fighting with tongs time!)

Peas on Toast said...

Lisa, we gotta talk hair! Hair and Home are my latest projects! I got some hair stuff that'll blow your mind :)


Lisa said...

Say when and where babe, as you know, right now schedule is wiiiiiide open.

Peas on Toast said...

Definitely come over this weekend, want to show you the new pad too. Call me when you're free and I can talk you through the hair! xxx

Lisa said...

Will do