Thursday, August 14, 2008

the politics of dancing

Ah bless really. Today is exactly the 1000th post I have written on this blog. Ten cubed and all that.

I went to a braai last night, after possibly the most stressful day I've had at work evah....I probably pulled out about a kilogramme of hair in artful clumps yesterday. And right now, I have a lot of hair. (And it's always straight. Always.)

Annnyway. Half the stress is whoreganising this bloody Schengen visa. For me and the people in my office who also don't have British/EU passports.
And there are more of them than us. Diabolical.

I have unwittingly become the Visa-Paperwork-Super-Organiser-Collective of the office.

Let me tell you: Ball Ache. Without A Cricket Box. If you get my vibe.

Annnyway. Went to a braai at E2's place, because S2 is out from Dubai for a bit. Always festive, except I came in after pilates sporting a pulled hamstring and shvitzing unbecomingly on the brow and full of corporate-related work stress. After one or two glasses of house rosé with Poen, I actually started sitting upright like a normal person who wasn't crazily spreadsheeting over a computer all day in a psychotic frenzy.

Work is insane at the moment. Insane.

On top of being the person who has to teach the office how to Greek Zorba Dance for a Guinness World Record, that my company plans to break in Greece.

Don't you just love that. Can you dig it?

Yet another project I have found myself in charge of; this Zorba Dance Off will comprise thousands of employees who will dance Zorba-like in a stadium with the Guinness Record Guys in situ to view the whole event and whack it into the Guinness World Record Book of 2008.

For the solitary record of the most people to Greek dance - perfectly choreographed mind you - in a group, ever. No kidding; this is my serious face.

I love it though, of course.

Thousands of people, Zorbaring, after a few ouzos no doubt, what a giggle, oh my God.

And I am the person responsible for teaching my office the moves.

'Cos if I don't, and we don't get the Record because I didn't show them properly, it will be all because of my incompetence. And my bad Greek decorum. Thank fuck for YouTube is all I can say.

Because incompetence, in any form, is a disease.

No less than 59 steps, arms slung over shoulders, and copious amounts of footwork, is what this is. I'm teaching the office 4 moves. Which we'll have to repeat for around 10 minutes.


There will be injuries. One move involves The Running Man with arms still slung over shoulders. Fucking hysterical to watch, I might add.

If I don't get my visa today, I'm going to breathe great big whopping fireballs and blow up the whole of Johannesburg.

Just a warning.


Vimbai said...

Happy 1000th! Tres impressive! Oh, and fingers crossed your visa comes through too :-)

Billy1177 said...

Congrats on the 1000! I would pay money to see you teaching Zorba. Lots of money.

Peas on Toast said...

Vimbai - why thank you! ;)
Man oh man I hope so too. I must say, I had a pleasaurable experience at the embassy. Was quick and efficient and they didn't get all stroppy. So hopefully it should work!

Billy - Thanks babe! Oh and Zorba, dude, how much fun!

leez said...

1000?!!! Congrats and WOW.

Do a happy dance in celbration but none of the ones you've posted about. Hell no.

kyknoord said...

Happy, happy! You don't look a post over 700, you know.

Peas on Toast said...

Leez - it's flipping crazy! Whatcha reckon a little ballet? I dabbled in ballet for a while..until I was told that I had zero grace and was too tall. Bitch.

Kyk - ah you're too kind :) I botoxed the other 300. :)

Charmskool said...

Happy 1000th post and I'm soo happy I found you - you make my morning and I'm going to miss reading you over coffee there in my new job where I have to work for a living.I'll catch up at nite never worry. 59 steps in Zorba's dance - ouch my hangover is too sore to contemplate even the four that most of us know (and fall over doing anyway). Bless Peas!

Peas on Toast said...

Ooh Charm, bonne chance with the new job! Hopefully once you ease in and learn the ropes you'll be able to surf t'Internet more often than you hoped. Good luck with it, I hope they treat you like a queen!

Can you believe the 59 steps? One would think it's that Irish River Dance stuff.

Tay said...

Hi Peas!
I am a newbie in the blogging world but have been reading your blog for months now. Congrats on the 1000th!!! :-)

MidniteGem said...

Good luck with the visa stuff!! I seriously DO NOT envy when it somes to that!

Peas on Toast said...

Hi Tay!
Thanks so much, and for popping me a comment. Bless ya! x

Midnitegem - It's ADMIN hey. Arrgh!

Lisa said...

honey, what would we have done without the Peas?!
mazeltov, love!
big ups!
(does a little Zorba in celebration!)

Miss T said...

Congrats Peas! I have really enjoyed your posts and they have really made my day. Been reading your blog for a copuple years now :)

Peas on Toast said...

Lisa - thanks my dear! And without you reading, it wouldn't be half as fun! Love ya xxx

Thanks Miss T! A few years, wow! It's always nice to know who reads, so thanks for dropping by babe! xx

Ches said...


1000 and never been kissed, ha ha

Mini said...

Ches dont be nasty!(Peas prob kissed

1000 eish wena.seriaas?


Peas on Toast said...

Thanks Chezzieronnieroonie. :)
And enjoy your rugga tour boet! Sounds like its gonna be a real little knee slapper, slapper! :)

Peas on Toast said...

Mini - haha, no....I can't say I've ever kissed my Bushwhacker bro... ;)

But thanks all the same! x

Jam said...

Those damn Visa's. Got mine, 2 hrs before I was due to be at the airport to go to Spain. Crossing thumbs for you honey.

Jam said...

And Peas, dearest, love you lots...and have for at least 500 of your posts...

Anonymous said...

hoorah hoorah zorba zorba *slings arms over and does running man* woohoo for 1000!!

Ches said...

He he, just kidding, just kidding :)

Thanks Peas...catch up soon before you head to Greekland.

The Divine Miss M said...

Sheesh 1000? That's a lot of crap hey? ;)

Naah congrats hon!

Piss: Why do you KNOW how to Zorba?

Peas on Toast said...

Jam - two hours before?? Stress attack!!! I'm 'due' to pick ours up three days before we leave, and even then I don't know if it's ideal. :(

I love you too my friend - and also sorry I've been pocket dialling you! Gaddd, I noticed I did that about 8 times in CT - my phone has taken upon itself to assign certain names to speed dial all by its little self! And you're obviously number one :)

Vendetta - you wanna come along to Zorba practice? ;)

Ches - for shizzle, a Guinness before I head to Ouzoland! :)

Peas on Toast said...

Miss M - touche, a LOT of crap :)

I don't know how to Zorba. I have to learn, then spread the knowledge amongst my worky brethren.
God only knows why I was voted project leader. ;)

The Divine Miss M said...

You asked to be?

Peas on Toast said...

Nope not even. But I happily obliged when they voted it.

And no one is more excited than I am. :)

Anonymous said...

yah count me in to da practice. I can even show you da super secret 60th step. Its not even on youtube yo.

Peas on Toast said...

Vandetta, wopah yo! Does it involve up close and personal contact between a dancing partner?

Gold digger said...

Is there a dancing partner you'd like to be up close and personal with? At least Ouzo will kill any chance of bad breath, you'll all smell the same :-)

Happy 1K'th post!

Anonymous said...

Haha yeah Peas, you gotta be close. If you can't smell da ouzo den you too far yo...

Peas on Toast said...

Gold Digger - thanks dollface!
Yeah as long as we're all drinking the same thing, should be good right?

Vendetta - and how we LOVE stuff that smells like fermented liquorice...or Sambuca...

The Blonde Blogshell said...

Happy TEN CUBED!! How totally wicked!
Congrats - dude...seriously impressed!
One day when I'm big, I too want to celebrate my ten cubed post :-)

Peas on Toast said...

Blogshell - ten cubed does sound awfully old doesn't it? My Greek travelling cannot come fast enough :)

This old blog needs a olliday! xxx