Monday, November 24, 2008

swan dives & dives

I nearly paralysed myself on Friday night.

What a week. I buy a piano by accident, my car breaks down in the middle of a busy intersection, work is crazy insane, and then I nearly break my own back on Friday.

Held a little impromptu dinner party chez moi.
Four of us including Ches, where about 8 bottles were consumed and a lot of music was played. My other girl mate then put on Dirty Dancing, and we thought it a great idea that I just swan dive into her open arms. Like in the movie. She would be Patrick Swayze, and I'd be Baby, and she'd catch me no problems.

“I'll catch you, trust me.” After 8 bottles of wine between us, one could trust a legless hamster to catch me. As I leapt into her arms from a distance, I twisted mid-air and promptly changed direction and from five feet, came crashing down, resoundingly, directly onto my spine.

There was a large thud. And for about 0.02 seconds I lay there in a daze, and thought, "well this is fucken it." Then I could feel my toes and fingers, and luckily I only got one fuck off migraine as a result.

Then I put on 80s gear and we all stumbled to the Colony for jug of John Deere and restumbld back home to sleep at mine.

My rug was christened. But not by me. Some of my mates had a good time on my carpet. Savages.
I'm glad at least someone's enjoying it's soft, fibrotic softness.

Saturday I went to Whale's birthday party where we all ended up at this crusty but quaint little dive called the Corner House. Love a good dive hey.

They were playing – one man band Dick van Dyk style – cover versions of Monster Hits 2.

I think I may have found a new local.

Pity it's in North Riding/A million miles away.

We were dancing on tables and swinging from the rafters. Seriously. Someone was swinging from the rafters.
Even got a chance to catch up with 3RM, who is now living in the Poenda with Ant. (Or at last until she comes back to Jozi in December). He has a real job and everything. He's on the payroll, and it was so nice seeing him again after what seems like months.

When I saw the folks on Sunday this is what my stepdad had to say:

“Peas. You do realise that in Argentina, you're not going to get hit on with your old man around.”

And why not?

“People are going to think he's your sugar daddy boyfriend. Or...that he's your dad. Which he is. And they'll steer clear.”

Great.

“But I have a suggestion. Why don't you get a t-shirt made with an arrow pointing that says This Is My Father. But I'm Available.

In Spanish right?

“Yip. And one for our dad that says the same thing.”

What a fucken great idea, actually. It's kind of like the “I'm With Stupid” shirt, but not. Plus our team tour shirts could be a great icebreaker at samba drinking holes.

So I'm getting a shirt made that says: Éste es mi padre. Pero Estoy disponible.

Good one. Gotta love the Germans for their endless unwavering logic.

17 comments:

po said...

I think the t shirt idea is brilliant.

Although I just got back from Egypt, where honestly you want a t-shirt that says something like: I am married with 4 kids and 5 huge husbands that will beat you up so leave me alone!

They are quite fond of western women in Egypt.

Peas on Toast said...

Hey Po!
Egypt hey? Niiiiice one!! Did you get to ride a camel or anything like that??

Yip my mate E lives there and she has blonde hair. It's never ending trouble apparently!

po said...

I didn't ride a camel but I rode a donkey. He was cool. And yes, the blonde girls got insane amounts of attention! Yay for being a brunette!

mylifescape said...

I love fun t-shirts! but not the cheesy ones!

I want one that says:
I love shoes, bags and girls!

hahahahaa

just for fun!
have a super week x

Peas on Toast said...

Po - You rode a donkey in Egypt - I love that. Can't say I knwo anybody else who has had that honour! :)

Bless. Love an ass. Asses rock :)

Mylifesacpe - howzit!
I have a shirt that says 'I love shoes, dudes, drugs & music.'

It works nicely. :) Big Blue, but about 2 years ago!
Have a great week too!

thatdamnjoe said...

Feck, I'm in the Poenda right now.

not.so.cool.

Billy said...

T-Shirts a must! The place in Northriding isnt in banbury cross is it?

Peas on Toast said...

joe - seriously??? God I don't envy the air you guys have gotta breathe in on a daily basis!


Billy - Nope, a place called The Corner House I believe :)

thatdamnjoe said...

foh sho. Work demands I spend some time here. Its like a prison sentence, only they dont feed me and I dont get action.

Colony's John Deere's were a culture shock for me first time I saw them. That place is a dive

Billy said...

oh. on witkoppen. Lost my dinity there a few times. nasty.

Peas on Toast said...

Joe - yip and those John Deere's felt asd though they'd dislocated my head from my shoulders the next day. Fucccck me.
Do you wear a gas mask there dude?

Billy - yip that's the one. Didn't even know it existed, and I must say - one can chuck name there andf nobody would know the difference, which is very nice indeed! :)

Revolving Credit said...

What if you tell them that your dad's actually your pimp?

Peas on Toast said...

I'm guessing they may give us both the 'you're-a-pair-of-twisted-fucks' eyebrow arch.

Or...buy us both a drink :)

Jam said...

Bought a piano "by accident"????
Real one, play play one??
And is your spine okay?
xx

Miss T said...

there is a corner house in joburg??!!! Damn!

Corner House in Cape Town used to be my hang out til they sold the building for a new Virgin Active. Loved it there. It was the most scummy dive you could find with the best music...*sniff* miss that joint

Peas on Toast said...

Miss T - Corner House was that place near The Jam that had carpeting on the walls right? And you'd dance in darkness??

If it's the same place, I used to LOVE that joint back at varsity!

Miss T said...

yup the very same place. Legendary!don't forget the passed out druggies around the edge of the dance floor and bare concrete floor with holes. :)