Monday, November 03, 2008

whinex & shalom

Winex, rah rah yadda yadda.

People pretending to know a little something about wine, asking the usual poncy questions which, if I owned a cellar, I'd be bored to tears. So I decided to go for a different tactic.

Not, "Ooh this is so soft on my palate," and "Is this fruity aftertaste because the cellar is on the foot of the Simonsberg Mountains?" bullshit.

Throwing my glass out there to be filled, Doc reminded me that I needed to actually feign some sort of interest and ask some meaningful questions. I didn't care that the wine is fruity or spicy or tastes like s shoeless beggar's toenails, frankly, all I cared about was that most of it was tasting fucken good.

"So tell me," [squinting at his name badge...] "Rupert Rothschild? Do you guys gently and lovingly massage the juice from the grape's constricting skins, or do you just mulch the fuck outta them?"

The Borg Family Winery took this in good spirit, if I remember correctly, and answered my question along the lines of 'we use hydraulic steel compressors.'
The rest kind of looked at me as though I was mentally insane, but generally, Saffas make good wine. Let's be honest.

Great. Let's drink.

Oh and I was wearing a marshmallow. But that's neither here nor there.

Winex is a great place to get drunk, wielding a wineglass and bumping into all sorts of people – but the lighting! Christ, they have to sort out those fluorescent bulbs man, doesn't leave much for atmosphere or to the imagination, frankly.

I went to a house party that involved all of us first going to watch the fireworks display at St David's next door. Lovely – although I always think of the poor dogs – and also watching a hang of a lot of teenagers graunching and sneaking around the tool shed for a sneaky gwaai.

It was Teen Fest 3 000 there.

Mean Mister Mustard was playing, so we jammed with a whole bunch of obnoxious little shits up front in the mosh pit.
Just being surrounded by hundreds of 14 year olds make me helluva fucken grateful I'm not that age anymore. Jesus, I wonder how we all managed to get past it alive.

Yesterday I was asked out on a day out to the Walter Sisulu Botanical Gardens, out there on the far west rand. Spent the day with the dude, drinking wine and lying on the grass. Was pleasant.

I fly to London tonight, en route to Tel Aviv. I jest it not. Twelve hours to London, then another four to Tel Aviv.
Don't mock the exhaustion and elephantitis when I first set foot in the Holy Land.

I might be going to Jerusalem when I touch down, with a couple of Russian guys.
How's that hey?
Might be jumping on a [hopefully completely bomb-proof] bus and heading to Jerusalem with the Rusky I was with on business in Dublin, to go and see the place.

He speaks very, very.....little English.
But hell, a tour of Jerusalem in Russian? Wouldn't miss that for the world – I mean, it's not everyday that happens, let's face it.

On the way back from Israel, I stay in London for the weekend. Not so sure I'm looking forward to it. But that's a whole other story.


kyknoord said...

In communist Russia, Jerusalem tours you.

Candice said...

Morning Peas,

How about a count down'er To the big book launch somewhere on your Blog?!

Peas on Toast said...

Kyk - Do they do Stalin tours??

Candice - not a bad idea, will be putting up my book cover this week :)

It got sent to the printers last week. Yeeeha!

Candice said...

And i take it - the girls of Little Black Book (right?) are organising the Launch party?!

Peas on Toast said...

Candice - unfortunately not. My publishers are :)

Candice said...

You know, A girl can never launch her first book too many times..

Peas on Toast said...

hahaha :)

Well I'm still celebrating, that's for fucken sure ;)

Sadie said...

Yes, flying generally sucks. I'm particularly bad at resisting the sharp ear pain. Oh and I'll see your 15 hours and raise you 7. With many stop overs. Like Helsinki. Who the fuck stops over in Findland?? Me.

But its all worth it when you land :)

Oh and when is this book going to be available? In time for me to read it on the plane please.

Peas on Toast said...

Sadie - three weeks until book is out. Hopefully it'll be in time for your plane journey ;)

Shitters, Helsinki hey - did you at least get a chnace to get out??

Sadie said...

Hoorah! my journey is in 4 weeks. Although that does only leave 1 week for it to get from South Africa to Australia. hmmm. I'm not liking my chances.

And unfortunately my Helsinki stop will only be a few hours. Not even enough time to properly gauge the quality of Finish boys.

Mini said...

I bet you got pretty drunk hey?

I cant stand these wine tasting pundits who think they fuckin know it all!

On Palestine(Israel)

Amazing how the sheckle is such a strong currency yet the country is one of the most polically unstable in the world?(Makes me wonder if some conspiracy theories are true)

Hey I went to the church where Christ was taken away in Jerusalem( Beautiful I tell You!)

Peas on Toast said...

Mini - oooh what was the church called? Just so that I remember the name and we can find the same one.

Also, is Israel expensive/ What with this global economic climate...I'm wondering if I'll get a lot of bang for my sheckle over there.

Whale said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Mini said...

Cant recall the name but its very close to the wailing wall.All you do is take the steps up from the back part of the wailing wall and it will lead you there!Fascinating

Unfortunately you not getting any bang for your sheckle!

Hey if you plan on buying those dead sea beauty products,DONT!(Waste of money!)...This statement is gonna anger the female species but its the truth

Peas on Toast said...

Mini - hmmm, so Jesus was lurking near the Wailing Wall was he. Cool, I'll hopefully do some exploration. This is of course if I manage to get to Jerusalem and am not completely fucken zonked from the plane trip!

Are dead sea beauty products the curio de jour there? (Love the tacky curios do you get little plastic jumping Jesuses and stuff?)

po said...

Good luck for your flight and your trip peas!

I know some Russian that will get you far:

Da- yes
Nyet - no

That is it really. Maybe it won't get you too far. The word for "work" is pronounced "robotye" or something.

Peas on Toast said...

po - why thanks m'dear!

'Prost' means cheers right? In that case I should knwo enough vocab for a pub evening at the very least ;)

Ches said...

Hey what times your flight?

You just left and didn't even leave a note.

Peas on Toast said...

Sorry Chesticle my boy!

I realised I still ahd to go to the freaking post office and do admin, and now am in the airport completely fucked off with British Airways because they overbooked my flight from London to Tel Aviv.

Those fuckers won't know what's hit them when I get into Terminal 5.

We'll be in touch though, will be online when I get there. xx

Miss T said... are we going to bump into our friend from london hey?....

Peas on Toast said...

Miss T - which friend from London?

And more importantly...where's a good place for a girl to get her hands on some cheap Guinness there? ;)