So. We all clamoured into a shuttle bus and headed out to the Cradle Of Humankind for our office party, where I slotted kudu carpaccio and lamb shank, and, well, that's pretty much about as much as I can recall without wincing.
The office had a lot of gas in the tank yesterday.
The problem with ordering a shuttle bus, is that you're going to ensure you get as fucked as humanly possible so that you take full advantage of the chauffeur situation.
We all got bliksemmed, overlooking a very Africanesque stage setting of thundering skies and green plains, whereby tequila just wasn't enough, someone had to go and order blowjobs and liquid cocaine. If we weren't going to get wasted, we were going to get wasted trying.
Arrived back at the office last night, with talk of going to Eldorado Park for a little drunken adventure, ("we've never been before, so let's go to Eldo's")then someone passed out on a beanbag, and somehow we just carried the hell on - banging away at shooters until, well, actually I still managed to stand. That's resilience for you.
But let me tell you, breakfast running back to my office, and then sitting in traffic on the way home bargaining with God for a shower, with encrusted drool on my mouth and hair that looks like the back-end of a goat's scrotum, and a mouth that was filled with the residue of a nomad's sandal, is no picnic.
Stuck in bumper to bumper traffic, where a knobhead fucking Chrysler Street Cruiser of a driver kept cutting in and cutting me off, and all I could see in front of me was a billboard with an oiled up porn star posing with an axe over his shoulder claiming You Know A Bar One Man When You See It, or the likes.
And you're thinking, "Fuck this for a bag of cashew nuts, I am in the fiery blazes of hell."
I have an LC the size of Zuma's ego, and the only thing that's going to get me through the next hour is imagining the look on Poen's face when she sees the press photo a journalist took at my launch - where C2 quoted her name as Gertrude Viljoen.
Now that's highlarious.
Of course, I wore my Bridget Jones fluffy snatch bloomers yesterday too. Oh dear God.