So, the newly-engaged Ant has moved back to the city of deep throating and deep mining, so Chester and I went over to theirs for a hearty Italian dinner.
Ant and her dude are currently animal-sitting a dog for someone, and as you might've started picking up, it doesn't have a name that makes anyone warm to the poor little wretch.
The dog owner called his dog Satan. And Ant's babysitting the devil.
The problem of course - besides church interventions arriving on your doorstep with Bibles and holy water - is that one doesn't realise that phrases like 'Satan! SATAN! Come to me!' And, 'SATAN! Would you PLEASE shut up,' is going to echo across the expansive Bryanston lawn and find its way through to the eardrums of your conservative neighbours who think you might have a devil worshipping vibe going on. Or at the very least an interesting relationship with the Lord Of The Dark.
And property prices are going to drop.
I mean, we were all sitting outside on the verandah, quaffing a little bit of Cote du Rhone - the good stuff - and realised that within fragments of the evening, this is what the neighbours had very possibly embraced themselves for:
What's for dessert? Ooh BLACK FOREST my favourite! STOP BARKING SATAN! DOWN SATAN DOWN! God! He does this every night, especially when guests are here.
And then SATAN! GET DOWN! Stop humping the chair! Is Satan bothering you?
Anyway moral of the story is:
1) Satan is a terrible name for a dog. As is Adolf and Slobadan. Give the dude a chance.
2) If you're trying to name your pet something original, do something that won't make your neighbours think you're dabbling with ouija boards. Try 'Lord Percy' or 'Matthew' or even 'Hip Flask.'
3) In the same breath, I wouldn't call your dog Jesus either. I considered calling my late rat God as a joke, but one has to think this through: "God has a nasty case of the runs, do you think I should take him to the vet?" And then you have to explain to the vet (and of course he'll be Baptist or something) why you called your rodent God, and it'll just be wierd.
4) Dogs called Satan need a lot of love and attention. That said, nobody will rob you.
5) It's great having my Italian counterpart back here. Johannesburg is such a departure lounge. Doc has gone to live in the Philippines, while Ant has returned.
At least my friends manage to juggle their departures and arrivals timeously.