You know how Picasso went through his Cubist period, then he had a Blue period, then he painted dogs, or was it little girls? in everything?
Well, not similarly, or even close to anything like that, I missed pilates yesterday (pitched up an hour late.)
My bad. Fuck! I never miss stuff. I’m prompt! Germanic! On top of my game! Unfalteringly! Hydraulically! Annoyingly! …because I got the times wrong.
God, another week of muffin tops peaking over jeans. Oh well. Something to grab onto, I suppose.
So I instead drove to Rye-vonia, blaring the likes of Groovy Kind Of Love on my speakers, (oh yes – actually I am just like Picasso in every way – I’m going through my …Phil Collins period. And boy is it orgasmic.)
He’s a genius, and I had the hots for him in Std 4.
Had a poster next to my desk and ev’thing.
His music videos are quite something. It’s like standing with an electrical appliance in the rain and seeing what happens-type of music. It’s almost toaster in the bath, but there’s also a slight chance you won’t come to a gruesome end.
In Groovy Kind Of Love, he sits in this studio – wearing chinos - watching a very-90s looking slideshow of all the times – good and bad – he had with a bird, whilst chain smoking away on cigarettes looking like he’s about to burst into tears. He’s also wearing a wifebeater in one of the love scenes. Steamy. YouTube it, my oath.
In other words, Phil Period: Listen don’t necessarily watch.
He did power ballads like Maria Von Trapp did children.
Uh, that sounds bad.
He did power ballads like Thatcher did Downing Street.
Had a drink with the Dove, and ordered a gin and tonic stronger than the Hoff’s fan base in Germany.
She says she’ll eat an entire eisben if I wear hightop converse takkies in Berlin.
That’s a tall fucking whoreder if you ask me. Eisbein – a boiled ball of pork – she gets away with that – and I have to wear – shudder - takkies in an outside urban and public environment?
What’s she on?
I said only if I get to say “Das ist ein uberhund, ja liebschen” to a random stranger in the street while I wear them.
I think that’s fair.