Thursday, May 28, 2009

how many finger(s) am i holding up?

Had a long chat with a friend last night after coming in after two strawberry daiquiris.
Proceeded to chat on the phone for an hour about ‘Orwellian Counterthinking.’

My mate should have a phD in this, because no, I also didn’t know what the fuck that is either.

Basically, like in the George Orwell book, 1984, people who are brainwashed to think a certain way and accept things however crazy they are.

The trick – like The Secret – so listen up, because he’s groundbreaking (especially after two or was it 3? daiquiris) - Is that we need to constantly do the opposite.

I think. The details are hazy, but I think that's the gist of it.

Philosophy after two (or was it 3? Really?) daiquiris is the preferable subject in which to dissect, like politics and religion. And human behaviour, in this case.

I still haven’t made my decision, but it’s interesting hearing various points of view. Like this one.

Also, because my interest in languages lately has reached fever pitch:
There’s a Frenchman, a German and an Englishman.

The Englishman: Our language is surely the most romantic. What with the likes of Keats and Shakespeare, take for example the word ‘butterfly’, isn’t it exquisite?

The Frenchman: Zat eez absolute merde. Za Franch! Haw haw, but za Franch, our butterfly is a ‘papillon!’

The Chairman: Nein, you both sheisse speaking. A butterfly in Chairman iz an insect machine! And zerfore it iz a SCHMITTELINK.

Now I’m learning some pretty mean words in German at the moment.

Like a helicopter is a Hubschrauber. (HOOPSggggrowber)

But a schmittelink? Now that’s Ace of Spades.

PS: A really cool name for a German is a Chairman.
‘Oh Heimlich? He speaks chairman.’


PPS: Maybe shouldn’t have had that second (or was it 3rd?) daiquiri at the farewell last night.


Margot said...

Hey China, you are rrremindink me off my rrrroots. Schmetterling zhough I zink iss ze correkt schpellink. Ve are all Chairman here ;)

Peas on Toast said...

Sheisse, I am apologizing solala so much kelinen for ze atrocious spellink. You Chairmans are very...stringent about zat, vich is vy you are known to be so thorough.

Sigh. I love it.

Margot said...

Ja. Zat iss better. We did not lose zwei world wars by being schebby wiz ze details, after all.

Peas on Toast said...

hahahaha! You're a HOOT!

zwei world vorres?

(Sidenote: With my French ancestry I am going to haff to surrender! In true French....war style.)

Margot said...

What's the difference between Frenchmen and toast?
You can make soldiers out of toast.

Fnaar fnaar. Oh, the hilarity. But I must go back to work and fulfill some more Protestant work ethic-type national stereotypes.

Love your blog, BTW.

Peas on Toast said...


SEriously. I've ripped many a ring out with that one. Can we be best friends??

Another favourite: Why do French people eat so much garlic?

So that blind people can hate them too.


Margot said...

Okay. (Fuck! Should be working! Can't stop myself) Let's test the new friendship on this classic:

A perfect German couple has a child. Heinrich. Heinrich's dad is the MD of BMW, Heinrich's mom is a blonde domestic goddess. As Heinrich grows older, he is the perfect German boy. He dresses in lederhosen and has a pudding bowl haircut, and all his basic functions develop normally.

But Heinrich never speaks.

The concerned parents take him to the doctor, who reassures them that there is nothing to worry about. He will speak when he is ready..

Years pass. Heinrich says nothing.

One day the family is sitting down to a dinner of Bockwurst, Sauerkraut and potatoes when Heinrich suddenly lays his knife and fork down neatly next to his plate and says, "Mozzer. I am afraid to tell you zat zese potatoes are a little cold."

Mother: "Heinrich! You can speak!" Snot en trane. "But only tell my why you didn't say anything until now?"

"Well, mozzer, up until now everyzing hass been perfecktly satisfacktory."


My husband (not German) told my father this one the first time he met him. That's when I knew he was a keeper.

You like?

Peas on Toast said...

I like? I Fucken love!!

"Mozzer. I am afraid to tell you zat zese potatoes are a little cold."You are my favourite little frankfurter right now. Ich liebe! Let's get married,. ;)

Margot said...

You're on! ;)