Thursday, June 18, 2009
you know when you've had....
too much Raki:
When you walk into some random dude’s room, at 3:00am in the morning and inquire if you could use his toilet, even though your room is located four rooms away, you know you’ve had too much Raki.
If you stroll into his room before he can slam the door in your face and say ‘Who are you, you crazy bitch? Go pee in your own room’, you know you’ve had too much Raki.
When you only find out about this scenario 24 hours later when a colleague retells the story and you don’t remember this for shit, you know you’ve had too much Raki.
You know when you see the hottest person you’ve ever seen in your life/at least in the last like forever, and you describe him as a ‘a gorgeous piece of spunk’ you know your brain is subconsciously thinking about procreation and male seed, and you’ve probably had too much Raki.
[Sidenote: I’m infatuated and it’s so not cool. Because I can’t help staring.
Get your shit together woman. Stand up and reassess your life. Wind it back in. Take control. And like, go to the UK tonight. To be safe.]
You know when you pay R250 – TWO HUNDRED AN FIFTY RONT – for a glass of wine, and like nine catrillion million rands for a vodka redbull – you know you’re in a Muslim country. And you’ve had too much Raki to justify the retarded expense otherwise.
Shit’s crazy but that’s like too crazy. Does anyone else call smoking hot counterparts gorgeous pieces of spunk?
Luckily, luckily I’m as cold as ice. Now.
And I fly to the UK tonight.
So I won’t be trying to use random people’s toilets – holidayers trying to enjoy the fruits of Istanbul - in private – and not involved in a company event, say.
Today has been a mare in light of reputation. With regards to at some stage of the day being on all fours growling like a lion, the random pee thing and the out-of-my-control staring.
And today will retain normaility and dignification and go to grand bazaar and buy random Turkish shit, and the spice market for fresh vanilla pods and no staring or needing to pee and raki. Turkish coffee and dignification.