Friday, July 10, 2009

stress b gone

Speaking of new friends, I have one under my nose.

Fever And yes, it’s the herpes B virus, infidels, before you point out the obvious.

Picked up this little friend in a sandpit or some such when I was 3. And whenever super stress mixes with low immunity, one of these guys every so often, pitches a tent on my lip, or like now, under my frigging nose.

Fuck it’s sore. The last time I had one, I started having a fling. The time before that I also started having a fling. So in some sordid and deeply twisted way, having a cold sore has been somewhat of a lucky omen in the recent past.

Interesting. Ironically uncool as well.

The fucker has gone and planted itself under my nose, much like in the picture on my Greek Schengen visa mugshot.

Pretty as an oil painting.

And not a complete and deniable fail criteria in official bureaucratic circles, when it comes to issuing visas, it would seem.
[‘You wanna go where? With what sprouting on your lip? Denied, Next.’ Just in case you have a similar predicament and were wondering.]

So these things seem to spring up overnight, and like this time, almost completely obliterate the left nostril.
After a few days, it’s kind of gone, but the impact is immeasurable.

Like yesterday. Yesterday I was stressed out of my bracket – didn’t leave my desk for more than 5 seconds – and spent much of my day solving technical issues over the telephone while typing furiously on my keyboard with one hand, and freaking out whilst doing so.

It starts to physically ache when the stress piles on. This bad boy has it's on heart beat. And yesterday was no different – WTF – except the ache started creeping up the left side of my face.

Dude. Totals.

First my mouth started aching, spreading to my gums, and then my left eye. By the end of the day, looking haggled and so forth, my left eye socket had become one of those poster boy pictures of the lazy eye. And hell it hurt.

All because of this thing under my bloody nose.

I think what I’m trying to convey here is this: I need a weekend. In a burqa. If I venture into a public arena.

So if you see a chick who is clearly not Islamic, prancing about in a bar for after work Friday drinks with a flamboyant Italian mate (The Ant), sporting a burqa around her face – and one lazy eye popping out - that would be me.

Hello. In advance.

PS: Stress kills.

PPS: 3RM, this would be a handy time to deliver my present you promised. My Mate Went To Libya And All I Got Was This Lousy Burqa.


arnaut said...

Shame, that sux.

At the same time I can't help but laugh at the way you put your predicament into words.

I hope it goes away soon...

DelBoy said...

Ag shame man.

Have a nice weekend!

Monkigirl said...

Eish, I have the same problem. Just a hint of an elevated stress level, and I develop a horrid throbbing cold sore. Fenivir is the only cream that works on mine.

Shame man, sucks big hairy balls.

Peas on Toast said...

arnaut - thanks china :)

DelBoy - I will most certainly try, you too, have a great one!

Monki - Fenivir hey? I have this tube of supposedly crazu fever-blister annihilating cream from when I was in Germany - was walkign around Berlin with one of these bad boys - but sheesh I need to try yoru cream man, cos it's done nothing!

Peas on Toast said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Nessers said...

I feel your pain - I just got rid of one myself and yip - caused by stress but also in my case caused when I kiss a new person (go figure). I had a date 2 weeks ago and yes I kissed him and hey presto 2 days later right on time was the tell tale sign on my bottom lip. Vicks Vapo rub dries it out while keeping it moist (yes I do understand the weird(ness) of that statement) -

Peas on Toast said...

Nessers - also in my case caused when I kiss a new person

Eeek! Did he manage to hide it well? Was the lighting dim?

I'm gonna give that Vicks Vapo rub a go - I think I'm coming on with flu... besides the cold sore I'm feeling the scratchy throat, sore joints....sigh :(:(

alexandra said...

hey dude...

haha also get them and LOVE it when ppl ask me if i know its actually herpes?? no shit..

BUT found magice pills - called Acyclovir (SP) you need a prescription but u take them the min u feel it coming on and take 3/5 a day for 5 days.. it doesnt even come up into the sore horrible boil thing - they are amazing. always have back up stash at home in case. try get them, you will wonder where they have been your whole life. creams dont work and these pills just kill it straight away.

have a smashing weekend and good luck with the herpes :)

Anonymous said...

Wow I feel your pain, I get them all the time, except mines not usually from stress. I just have to THINK about coldsores & I get them. My left nostril is currently completely blocked with the aftermath of scabs left from the last bout of the horrible things!
I get cold sweats when I feel that achey burning itch & you just KNOW whats coming.
Hope yours leaves in peace!

Peas on Toast said...

Alexandra - now you're talking! I like the sound of a pill that just takes this beast away once and for all...until it pops up again of course. Thanks so much, will pop down to the chemist and inquire immediately!
Thanks so much :)

cupcake - so you too eh? Aren't they the worst? And they just pop up at the WORST frigging time ever. Sorry to hear you get them regularly. I also heard that you can get this patch thing that you whack on it and that sometimes helps? But maybe those pills Alexandra is talking about above work better.

I know people who get like 5 at a time. I thank my lucky stars I ususally only ever get one at a time.

Revolving Credit said...

Well, if it's got a heart beat maybe you should give it a name.

Nessers said...

it appears two days after the kissing so he never saw it heheh and I am never seeing him again either - turned into a bit of a stalker so I ran a mile in the opposite direction

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - Jason. His name is Jason.

Nessers - a stalker with a cold sore? Sounds like you dodged a bullet my friend! What a catch ;)

fuzzy logic said...

What is it about a sudden rush of hormones to get these bad boys going? I used to always break out when my long-distance boyf used to come visit.
Something that works, and you prob won't need a prescription for is L-Lysine - they're some sort of amino-acid pills that kill that blister fast. Should be able to get it from Clicks or something. Oh, and toothpaste on it at night!

Peas on Toast said...

Thanks fuzzy!

You may have a theory there - the moment I know I'm gonna get action - whether it's purely subliminal or unconcious or not - these buggers pop up!

The only difference this time is that I know, at least for the next few weeks, I'm not getting any action. Plausible theory though, indeed!

Revolving Credit said...

Jason - The coldsore with a chainsaw??

Thought today was Fri 10th, not Fri 13th.

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - nah I just thought Jason was cool, random, cold-sore type of name.
(Apologies to all Jasons out there in advance...)

Revolving Credit said...

Always wondered why in the movie Jason wears a hockey mask - obviously it's to hide a big ass coldsore.

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - oh my word, perfect, didn't think of that!

Jason he DEFINITELY is :)

Wanna stroke him?


alexandra said...

sure things peas :)

mine is always called Charlie - even though he is murdered within the first half hour nowadays, felt it best to at least name him

go get the wonder pills - you will wonder how the hell you lived without them for so long!

have a fab weekend and tell Jason his days are numbered :)

Peas on Toast said...

Alexandra - you're a genius, thanks so much. Jason and Charlie are history, they can hang out together in cold sore hell/heaven :)

alexandra said...

yay at least charlie will now have a mate in Herpes Hell - he was getting pretty lonesome down there...