Thursday, July 09, 2009

fossils & new friends

I’ve made a new friend.

When times are dull and you’re whordering the complete box series of Friends (that comes in crate format to your hoffice, FYI), and your best mates are moving to Kenya, or otherwise involved in other issues, and you’re desperate for something new in this town, because all you can think of is moving elsewhere, fresh faces are always super minna minna welcome.

I’ve made two new guy friends, actually, who actually live in Johannesburg, and seriously, I'm as stoked as Princess Beatrice when she realised she doesn’t have to be as monarch-like as her cousins when she’s pissed out of her bracket after a night out in Chelsea.


So I went out for a drink last night with 8Ball, to our local – ye good old pub in our neighbourhood – and after a particularly fucking crazy pilates session – dude. Dude. I have hamstrings. Or I did. Yesterday. Until she snapped them on some spring machine – fuck me Richard Hammond - it was nice to talk to someone new and refreshing last night.

And then got home with stomach ailments, probably only because my stomach is used to Diemserfontein Pinotage, and not some other excuse for red wine bollocks, to watch Series 1 of Friends.

Instead of buying a cat, I invested in the Friends series. One step to spinsterhood, one purchase at a time.

Also, and I mentioned this like 3 years ago, how much I love this fossil, but seriously - I’ve been listening to Tchaikovsky all day.
Dude. I love him. He was super gay, and broke both his pinkie fingers to play better, but he’s nothing short of a farken genius.

His music is just insanely beautiful. I had the most productive day yesterday, blaring him directly into my earlobes – all day, his Piano Concerto No.1 - all Movements.

I studied classical music in high school, but, in all honestly and adversity, this beats the shit out of Beethoven. Tchaikovsky appeals to the romantic senses.

And you want to die in a bath full of crème brulee, with him on in the background. If you do, of course, have a choice, in which manner you’ll kick the bucket.

That Russian bastard will own you if you let him.

Besides productivity, Tchaikovsky will give you:
1) A very musical orgasm
2) Purity. His music is so pure and Austrian Alps-like
3) Reminds you of no one. Just gets your soul all excited and happiness-bursting for no reason except for crazy ass utopia piano concerto-ness.
4) Taps into your classical musical nerd

Pass me an apfel strudel. He sorts me out more than Brad Pitt ever would.

Brad Pitt could stand in front of me, dangling his nomthondo in front of my face, and Tchaikovsky still wins, because he actually gives me something. He feeds my soul. Brad would only feed my….sexual cavity, if I’m gonna be blunt.

And yay, I have a new friend.


DelBoy said...

That last paragraph cracked me up! "nomthondo"... can't find that on!


Peas on Toast said...

DelBoy - it's the best hey?

One word Europeans wouldn't quite get if we were talking nomthondos amongst us, eh? ;)

Nessers said...

oohhh I need to meet new people - I am getting into a rut at the moment also - reading lots of books and going to bed really early - like 8h30 last night cos I am having such stunning sleeps at the moment *g*. My bed is my lover at the moment - wraps me in warmth and gives me comfort but does not take care of the Orgasm thing

Peas on Toast said...

Nessers - I have to agree. My job is my boyfriend. My bed is my lover, and my ghd is my best friend :)

Summer's coming, and things will get better. I'm staying positive. It's this fucking weather.

Amy said...

hahaha........glad to see I'm not the only one who's getting into bed at 8.30pm and who prefers being parked on my couch watching series one ep rolling after another...hahaha, I agree, My job is my bf, my couch and bed are my interchangable secret lovers....and well my ghd is my neglected best friend....nothing wrong with unruly curls!:)

Peas on Toast said...

Amy - excellent! I'm really chuffed to see that we're all not in thewis boat alone. Even if the boat leaves the harbour at 8:30pm :) hahaha

Us ladies need our beauty sleep right? ;)

Nessers said...

OOhhh Amy I die if one hair is out of place and my hair is really long - almost to my arse and my GHD is totally my best friend - and books I am devouring them at the moment

Yes Peas summer is on its way - I will resume looking then - maybe cos I am still wondering if men are worth the effort we put into them ;-)

Secret said...

So what would it be? Hammond or Tchaikovsky?

I totally have to agree with you here, Mr T is one of my top three composers - the others being Mozart and DeBussy. Im a sucker for piano preludes and romance.
Unfortunately my housemate doesnt agree - she turns the classical on my boom box (haha! does anyone actually still own one of these?) down when Im not looking. :|

Amy said...

Peas - indeed! Beauty sleep is definitely a requisite after the torture my pilates instructor puts me through (those inner and outer thigh workouts!!!)....but at least we don't have to get 'bikini ready' because technically we already are! ;)

Nessers - my hair is really long too and I prob have twice as much as you do. But funny thing, I seem to get more compliments when my hair is curly....maybe its because I don't look like everyone else who has ghd'd hair! Either way, more time with my ghd means less time with my 'lovers'...hahaha :)

Peas on Toast said...

Secret - without a DOUBT:
Hammond with Tchaikovsky blaring on in the background.

You have a BOOM BOX??
Oh my God. Can we be best friends?? ;)

Amy - so you're also into bodily torture through the medium of pilates. Nice. Does yoru instructor snap your hamstrings too? ;)

Amy said...

She hasn't quite gotten to snapping my hamstrings yet. I wait with baited breath.

By the way since you're in to should check out Craig Armstrong. Awesome stuff. He be the dude who did the musical score to that scene in Love Actually where the guy who's in love with his best friend's wife stands at her front door and lets her know that he is in love with with placards....

Peas on Toast said...

Oh Amy, you doll! I LOVE that scene in Love Actually - it makes me go all gooey and ridiculously tearful every single time! Thanks so much :)

puffin said...

Hiya Peas...

what if i told you i had 3 bottles of Nivea Shimmering Body Lotion that would like to find it's way to your doorstep?

8ball said...

That was a lot of fun Peas....Sunday is on like Pete Tong...

No limerick today cos nothing rhymes with nomthondo


Peas on Toast said...


How?? HOW did you do that? Do you work for them? Tell me everything!

(And YES! YES YES PLEASE! I haven't seen that stuff is years :(

8ball - nomthondo...mondo. The world in Italian...maybe.
See you Sunday big guy - excellent stuff!

puffin said...

nope, i aint kiddin yo funny ass..

it's still on the shelf in a local supermarket in nam.... i should just check the expiry date first before i get your panties in a twist over nada. i'll get back to ya...

Peas on Toast said...

puffin - you are such a dahl, dahl!
Could you imagine - haha - the stuff arrives on my doorstep, Im delighted, and next thing I get this HORRENDOUS rash all over my bodily cavities....

still, I can'y believe it exists still in Nam! That's amazing!