mouse ac & sundry

Can’t believe Ant doesn’t have a mouse bump.

Had one since 2003 – since starting a full-time relationship with a computer - and it’s forever been growing into the hand bunion it’s always wanted to be.

It’s a malinformed bump on the bottom of my right hand from too much mouse action.

Ant doesn’t have one. Had to help her navigate Streetview over a few glasses of dignified sherry last night. With some crazy one fingered touch-pad click navigation.
Crisis. I am a geek. Yay?!

I’m getting increasingly frenetic and nervous about Italy. For one, the UK consulate has my passport and I sincerely fucking hope I get it back before Wednesday. Or else there will be tears and infinite chaos.

For two – hello? I’m going to fucking Italy when I should probably be fixing the undercarriage of my motor veheeicle, and I’m meeting someone I’ve only known 5 months there.

So.

Ant informed me last night that her grandmother has a house in a village next to Venice.

Peas: And we haven’t gone on holiday there yet because….?

Ant: One day, definitely.

Peas: When you and The Gilb retire there, will you have a Joey Room for me? We have discussed this before you know.

Ant: Yes of course.

Peas: I’ll help you run the estate. I won’t make any fuss.

Ant: Yip, maybe when we’re over 60 though, because Italy is overrun with old people.

Peas: What?

Ant: Yeah, the government is worried that Italy has lost it’s culture. As its overrun with foreigners and old people.

Peas: What.

Ant: Yip, if I wanted to – as an Italian citizen – I could probably get a free flight back there. They want Italians to come back.

Peas: Where did they go?

Ant: There are more Italians living outside Italy than in the country itself.

Peas: Crap.

Ant: It’s true. My father cries tears.

Peas: Dude. There’s pizza everywhere. You people have fucken taken it everywhere.

Ant: Yeah. And everyone else has bastardised it.

Peas: Did you know a UFO in French is an OVNI.

Ant: It’s the same in Italian.

Peas: It’s fucking classic. Yay I can double up and use it in Rome. ‘Say…isn’t that an OVNI?’ And I’ll point to the sky.

Ant: OK then.