Monday, November 09, 2009
brian & bride's to be
So I went to a mate’s hen’s party on Saturday.
We were dressed up like bergies, and as forfeits had to have a few of our teeth coloured in with permanent marker, while swinging a bunch of a gigantic stuffed penises around.
Good times. We all got hammered.
I even won a set of earrings as a prize, [nice touch!], for knowing the most Hollywood trivia. Haven’t bought a Heat in months and yet. Yeah, sad. And ingenius.
Then Sunday went to visit the brothers. Don’t think I’ve told you yet, but I have a godson. My brother mates own him, and over breakfast and Hot Shots 2 I thought: ‘Bugger, I’m taking him with me.’
He’s a dog and his name is Brian.
He’s a huge, drooling, fat-rolling, beautiful piece of Bull Mastiff hunk. He’s dof, but he’s also The Chill King. He has no idea how big he is – seriously he’s huge – and he’s adorably awkward, horny [beware the red rocket, seriously], and he has the face of a hairy angel.
I don’t have a dog, so I have to borrow Brian.
Decided I need to spend some quality time with my godson, so took him for a ride in Ludwig and later to a mate’s birthday party at Delta Park.
He couldn’t really fit into Ludwig. He’s a big dog and I have a small car. Had to shove him in, and even then he didn’t fit onto the seat, so everytime he turned, I’d have his ass in my face.
Bless. He’d just hang out the window, dog slobber everywhere. My car is filled with canine saliva, and yet, he seemed ok to sit and jam to the intensive croonings of Usher. Whilst he managed to slobber a lifetimes supply of spit onto my dashboard.
I dashed into Woolies to buy something, and in the queue I could see his big brown face in the car, while he moved around and set the car alarm off – lights flashing and onlookers too scared to go anywhere near my Bull Mastiff godson.
Chilled in the park with friends and millions of dogs and Brian.
Bless, isn’t he beautiful? I mean look at him. Look at his little face.