Friday, November 06, 2009

booking spanish wheelchairs & other strange occurences

Had a bit of an eccentric day yesterday.

You gotta understand though – there are always peaks and troughs.
An example of a peak in the past would be the day I bought a piano by accident.
Or when I named my pet rat Chad Jean-Gilles North Dakota Craig O’Toast.
Or when I got a rat. As a pet. At 26. To begin with.

Yesterday was a good indication of the dysfunction.

In that you eat a sandwich in the traffic with protracted mastication.

Or you bark like a Dobermann at the dude at your window who insists on asking you 3 times if you’ll buy a patio dust cover.

Or you book and pay for flights to Mexico via the UK.

I’ve been invited to Christmas in Dorset. This should be rather amusing.

Flights across the world momentarily bankrupt me for the remainder of this month.

Dropped half a house mortgage on air travel yesterday.

In a wild panic try and book the cheapest internal flights in Mexico to Cancun. On a Spanish website that won’t translate, so you have to whack random paragraphs into the Translate tool manually.

And then you book and pay for a wheelchair. By accident.

And couldn’t deduct it from my total pay. I pressed ¿Pago? like 8000 times.

So one of us windowlickers will be using the chair, that’s for fucking certain. It took me and hour and a half to book flights and I manage to book a fucking wheelchair as well.

So I’m broke but very excited.

Saw the most beautiful piece of fuckberry pie in our building yesterday. He's friendly and cheerful too. Very very nice to look at.

Had a lot of very mind numbing work to do yesterday, and as a result, that makes me eccentric. Crazily-manual data loggings for too long a period, can ensure that my creativity somehow oozes itself out elsewhere. And mostly I just break into song or play a sonata during lunch.

Yeah it’s weird. No one said it would be easy.

Anyway, two of us decided that we’re going to turn our Irish colleague into one of our client’s company mascots because he has such a startlingly amazing mo.

No really, don’t bother competing this Movember. He’s Lord Kitchener. Simply sensational to look at.

We decided we’d make him famous through corporate mascotting and viral advertising, we’d give him a catch-phrase, make Facebook groups like ‘If 1 Million People Join This Group We’ll Turn [Kitchener] Into Acme Inc’s Logo Boy’, and we’d all retire rich and I’d buy a yacht and set sail around the Mediterranean eating tapas and brinjal.

Then I had dinner in Parkhurst with all my Engaged Girls. Bless, it’s quite heartwarming to see how happy they are.

I ate a Basil Mania, had a gin and Fanta, and thought:

God. It’s been an eccentric day.

PS: My mate phoned from a hotel in Pretoria:
'There it is! No ways!'
'There is what?'
'The Bible in the top drawer.'


Ruby said...

:) love it!

Peas on Toast said...

Ruby - the wheelchair or the Bible in the top drawer? ;)

Revolving Credit said...

So in Cancun you plan to:
a) Drink yourself legless
b) Shag yourself paralytic
c) All of the about

Either way, wheelchair is a brilliant idea!

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - well I thought that maybe I could leglessly drunk on the plane ride down there anyway.

See how many wines it takes for me not being able to physically walk.

The stakes are out. I'm thinking...15?

Revolving Credit said...

Why, does wine drive your libido out of control??

Anique said...

"the most beautiful piece of fuckberry pie", ... I am crying with laughter here, ... classic line, I want a piece :D :D :D

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - yeah, as a matter of fact it does :)

Anique - have you seen My Best Friend's Girl?

Anique said...

No I haven't, is it any good. Almost picked up from the video store last week?

Peas on Toast said...

You'll see the line in the best context EVAH. :)
Do it, worth a thrash!

wozzel said...


lol. i'm all for gin and fanta. haha.

Peas on Toast said...

Wozzel - they iz WELL tasty innit! :)

poppy said...

I have the feeling you typed eccentric into Google and picked the most arbitrary image.

Peas on Toast said...

That's right Poppy. That's pretty much exactly what I did.


BLD said...

Fuckberry Pie! LMFAO - Gotta love Dane Cook... My Best friends Girl is my favourite movie ever! Enjoy Mexico, I'm sure you will love it, what with a pago wheelchair and all! :-)