Thursday, November 05, 2009

bridget is my best spinster

I think someone stole my washing.

Of all the nerve.

Whatever though. That is secondary, thirdry, to other stuff. So I have lost a few shirts. And some fucker has either climbed up my balcony/it’s blown off onto the street/sublimed for general mass consumption.

I have a policy anyway. I buy so many clothes and shoes, that over the past 2 years, every time I buy 5 items, I give 5 items to charity. So maybe that’s my charity for the month.

More concerning though, and in my head a lot this week: is my Dad. Saying - for the first time ever – and this is my father, please understand. [Elusive, covertly-independent, jaded, eccentric], saying to me, over the electric telephone: ‘Isn’t it time you got a boyfriend Peas?’

Well Dad, actually, what the fuck. I never expected this - er ever– especially after all the crazy shit you do, to come out of your pie hole. Out of everyone – everyone conventional, which is 90% of the population anyway - I thought you were the last person. Can I escape to Mexico please? Soon as?

If they came readily in shops, I’d buy one. If they came as business propositions, I’d acquire it. And it would be successful.

But as you’re aware, that stuff has had few happy endings for Peas in the past. And it’s something I’ve let go – and frankly, what a fucking relief. I’m alright with it – albeit in isolated situations - few and far between in this place – yet I’m doing a lot of things many couples can’t do. As in put all their energy into their career and travel wherever I want without a second thought.

I can be selfish, and I am. I’ve worked hard for it.

Not many people relate to it. But that’s a cookie and sometimes it crumbles.

Most of the time, it's all good. The past few trips, and next trip, I’m with somebody that I adore. But looking beyond that - on a purely latitudinal basis - is just silly. I’m a realist now and it’s certainly not a bad thing.

Positively, dear eccentric father, I have experienced love recently, if that means anything. There are long and extracted periods whereby I am single but being comfortable and accepting of my very existence thereof would be nice. Without the societal implications that derive the very life goals of most people – of which I’m reminded of constantly – I am ok – more than, even.

I am single Dad. And this may be for a long time/maybe even forever. Sorry.

Accept it. I have. It’s just the way it is right now. It’s really ok.

Seriously. If anything, I have had some amazing experiences that I never would’ve had, had I stayed attached and white picket-fenced.

Let’s take what’s going on, with my career and all the travelling I’m doing. Not to mention meeting interesting and sexy people in the northern hemisphere.

Can we go back to you not having expectations, please. I don’t, so why should you?


Anique said...

PMSL, I hear you loud and clear. I am also (very) happily single at this point in my life, and mostly people seem to think its dysfunctional ... I have no idea why ... I am one of the happiest people I know. I have people in my life that I spend time with WHEN I need to ... so I am not lonely?

I think it makes couples feel uncomfortable - maybe jealousy? Because now I really can do what I want when I want, and I enjoy that freedom. I am happy in my own skin ... I don't need anyone to make me happy. Sure, I can have sex and romances but its on my terms :)

Anique said...

And why does spinster have a nasty after taste, like we are all dried up and/or past our sell by date.

But bachelor sounds cool?

We need to either get a new cool word for a single sex goddess or change our perception on what a spinster "sounds like"

Anonymous said...

I have been there before with my own father, ex-hippie and feminist though he claims to be. Worse though, my mom once posted me a newspaper clipping about freezing my eggs.

Peas on Toast said...

Anique - you're right. And perhaps we are dysfunctional - well I speak for myself - but it's not all bad.
We get lonely, let's be honest, but it's not as bad as feeling stifled into some prison sentence you ahven't thought through properly. Right? Right?

And I love it - from now on, we're BACHELORS. It sounds way better - sexy even :)

rules - shut up, seriously?? That's worse than when my mum started getting hysterical on a flight to Cape Town when I told her I'd just adopt or some such. She made the WHOLE plane look at us with her screeching.

Revolving Credit said...

Seeing as this is you father I'd take matters seriously, something is a foot.

If I were you I'd do a quick BidorBuy and eBay scan just to make sure he has not put you on auction.

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - Yeah, I'm up there next to my re-auctioned piano :)

(Buy one girl, we'll throw the piano in free!'


Revolving Credit said... if I win the auction can I tickle your ivories?

fuzzy logic said...

Hear hear!

Peas on Toast said...

Rev - do you have one million dollars?

Fuzzy - chin chin! :)

Anique said...

Hahaha ja we all have our dysfunctions (even couples do, horror, SHOCK!), I am comfortable and happy in my dysfunction.

rules - my mother suggested a sperm bank but, I then met my other love of my life who now lives happily down the street (we get on well but not well in the same house). So, I have my love child now. I swear they don't make parents like they used to, mine is out of control. I mean really now, a parent suggesting a sperm bank or freezing eggs, that a best friend's job LOL. OK, in my case, my mother is one of my best friends but still!

Revolving Credit said...

1 million? Will you take Zim?

Anonymous said...

Iesh, parents!

Val said...

A lurker coming out of hiding! Been married twice - both happily, but this sort of thing makes my blood boil! You fit into your own skin and if it happens, it happens and to hell with it if it doesn't!! You go girl - just love your blog.
Val - (just short of the big 70)

Peas on Toast said...

Anique - wow! The sad/happy - you decide - thing is that I've almost let go of having my own kids as well. So if it does ever happen, well, surprise.

Rev - Zim euros? Certainly :)

poppy - and so unexpected...

Val - thanks so much and hi and welcome :)

epskee said...


Periods of being single are just as, if not more so, important as periods of coupledom.

Why do people want people to hook up and get married? It mostly ends in divorce anyways!

Im not yet 30 and have a 9 year old boy. Trust me. There IS NO RUSH. What I wouldnt give for a moments peace! To decide for myself what I wanted to do!

And people as my why i havent married/moved in with the bf yet.... sheesh! Its coz I'm Destiny's Child's INDEPENDANT WOMAN and lovin it! (even if said independence actually isnt that independant coz of said being a mum n stuff)

Besides, I ALWAYS get the remote. Who with a partner can say that?