Friday, November 27, 2009

it's that rare

I went to an engagement party last night. Two dear friends of mine, tying the little old knot.

Embarked on the tipple; wore heels that made divots in the lawn. Never learn, never fucking learn.

Some guy at the party looked at me. Looked at me. I haven’t been in a situation, in the country, I this city, in the vibe, for a while.

So I noticed. The look.

And yet…

Was nice to be noticed though. Didn’t think I was more than less-invisible at this point – my doing pretty much entirely.

So a nice surprise.

This city makes me feel androgynous. By most of my doing.

I’m just asking - for this chapter - for the small particle of my life where I wish I could be elsewhere with someone I truly do love, that whatever happens, I won’t cry.

Because I only bought this on myself, sort of.

PS: I'm so hungover. And I think I slept on my arm last night, all night. It feels like it's going to fall off.


wozzel said...

A bloody mary should do the trick! Always helps me with a fallen right over situation. Where is that bloody bloody mary when you need one.

Peas on Toast said...

wozzel - the thought of vodka makes me feel the shit side of ill hey.
Maybe I need to hit the Nurofen then go on the hunt for...the red october.

tyrone said...

Aw Peas... :)

Peas on Toast said...

tyrone - I'm such a loser.

tyrone said...

Don't be ridiculous. You're absolutely not...

What you're experiencing is something we all go through every now and again.

And distance relationships are never easy... This is why. The emotional pull is crazy. I have the t-shirt and it was a VERY difficult time of my life.

Being harsh on yourself will only make it worse... Rather just try to accept your feelings for what they are (real and justified) and allow them to be. Don't fight them and they'll retreat for a bit.

Peas on Toast said...

Ty - thanks so much for understanding. Seriously you are so so sweet.

God my head is going CRAZY at the moment.