Monday, February 22, 2010

pelvic thrusting & nurse outfits

Threw Ant’s hen’s party on Saturday.

After weeks of carefully integrated hyper-organisation, it’s always good to see it all come together.

In a cataclysmic display of Ant dressed up as a tart, while having a lapdancing teacher gyrating on top her.

We dressed Ant up as a slutty nurse (she should’ve been a doctor, so this worked well), and had a lapdancer come and teach us how to, basically, have sex with a chair.

Which is fitting, as many of us** appreciate any tips in the inanimate object shagging department.

Knowing how to turn a chair on is a very useful skill to have. If, like me, you aren’t dating anyone [in this country.]

Started with a high tea, all billowy and country-like, complete with tiered cupcake trays, and cucumber sandwiches. Ant loves her tea, and besides her Nona – the Italian matriarch in the form of her grenadmother – wasn’t going to stick around for the kinky stuff. Or was she?

Nona hung around, also moving her hips, for the lapdancing session, which was a treat for the eyes, let me ya. Ant’s Italian aunt’s, cousins and grandmother were the feistiest of the lot. Proclaiming ‘Mama mia!’ – I swear to God – as they did so.

We played the obligatory bachelorette games, which involved a trolley load of sex shop consumables as prizes, most with batteries included.

Took a London cab to dinner at Fino’s and then headed to Tokyo Star to break an egg on the dancefloor. I don’t club anymore. This much was evident, in that I wore a sundress and head scarf to Tokyo Star, looking like I’d just stepped out from high tea, which I had.

Going to clubs in Joburg is something foreign to me these days. As I stepped in, murmuring ‘hello old life,’ I realised that I had missed it. Even.
Making shapes on a dance floor in inappropriate anti-scoring gear is helluva fun. If only I had the energy to go out dancing more often really.

Someone even slapped my bum. No kidding, seriously?

Either way Ant seemed to have a good day, so that’s good.
I’m preparing for a trip to London and France in March. To help my efforts to move. The work – back to the real world – doesn’t end.

** me and/or single ladies.


Karen said...

"Pelvic thrusts" and "beautiful blogger" somehow does not rhyme, he-he. But love coming here for my daily dose of humour!
Please accept The Beautiful Blogger Award. It comes with rules when you come to fetch it!

Peas on Toast said...

Oh bless Karen, thanks so much! I will definitely pop round, that's very sweet :)

Pelvic thrusts are beautiful, I assure you. Just ask Carmen Electra. ;)