Thursday, August 12, 2010
stray pants trapped in jeans
Poen and I are going to (try) and paint the town red red wine tonight.
I say 'try' simply because we don't have as much gas in the tank as we used to.
In about a month I'm 30. But might as well make hay while the sun shines, in that Poen is moving to Kenya permanently at the end of August.
But before we go to Piccadilly, to fight crowds and get sloshed.
[Sidenote: two things that I knew would affect me in London.
1) clouds; and
The latter is fucking ridiculous. This place is a constant throng of human sweat and bodies. I have taught myself to meditate as I bob through the morning and weekend human traffic like a leaf bourne to the wind, and not freak out, panic and stab them with my umbrella]
...I need to know what to do with my underpants.
Yesterday I wore one sock to work. God knows where the other one went, or why I only realised I was wearing one sock three hours later.
Today, I slipped into my jean pant. Where a pair of doondies I failed to notice this morning, found themselves wedged between my leg and the inside of my jeans.
I've been waltzing around the office all morning, with a pair of French knickers scrunched up in my leg. I'm wondering how they didn't slip down and fall out of my trouser at breakfast.
You know, while grabbing a bowl of berries in the communal cafe, and while trying to look intelligent and important, they drop out of my trouser leg onto the floor. In front of 8000 other people.
Thank fuck they were unwittingly trapped, taken hostage by my strident thighs, or some such.
I only noticed this when I booked in for a corporate massage - that's right, my work has one of these, complete with effeminate masseuse - and saw I had a spare pair of doondies stuffed into the leg of my bloody pants.
It must've looked like some weird growth formation.
Anyway, any idea of where I should put these before Poen and I go out and get smashed? I was thinking they would make a nice lacy hat for when it rains, or maybe just stuff them down my jeans again and call myself a ....man.
PS: They're in my pocket right now. Safe or stupid?